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Re: im a comedian just like dane cook and george carlikn

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PixarLane250 is not online. PixarLane250
Joined: 07 May 2011
Total Posts: 3654
07 Apr 2012 06:46 PM
hers my first jokee

what did the onion say to the elephant

i stink!!!!!!!!!!!
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PixarLane250 is not online. PixarLane250
Joined: 07 May 2011
Total Posts: 3654
07 Apr 2012 06:54 PM
hers another one:::

how many cars drove on the highway

Two people are dead and a third person has been seriously injured after being struck by a train while on the railroad tracks in the upstate New York village of Westfield, authorities said.

A dispatcher with the Chautauqua County Sheriff’s Office said the three people were hit at a rail crossing near North Gale Street. He identified the three as pedestrians.

The person who was seriously injured was transported to a nearby hospital.

Dispatcher Chris Norberg said no other information about the three people or the circumstances were immediately available tonight. He said local police are investigating the incident.
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Hyphalax is not online. Hyphalax
Joined: 15 Jul 2011
Total Posts: 22375
07 Apr 2012 06:54 PM
hilarious!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Hyphalax is not online. Hyphalax
Joined: 15 Jul 2011
Total Posts: 22375
07 Apr 2012 06:57 PM
plz tell more
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PixarLane250 is not online. PixarLane250
Joined: 07 May 2011
Total Posts: 3654
07 Apr 2012 07:01 PM
what did the pen say to the pencil

A Vermont couple was arrested today and charged with murdering a boarding school teacher who went missing Sunday night, ABC News reports. The body of Melissa Jenkins, 33, was found on a dark road Monday, a day after her SUV was found near signs of a struggle, still running and with her 2-year-old son safely inside; she had been strangled. Suspects Allen Prue, 30, and wife Patricia, 33, knew Jenkins, police said today, and had "snow plowed her driveway a couple years ago." No motive was given.

Allen Prue was an hour late for his newspaper delivery shift that night, reports the Caledonian Record, the paper he delivered. He also worked as an independent snow plow driver. Jenkins, a beloved science teacher and basketball coach at the prestigious St. Johnsbury Academy, also worked as a waitress and was getting her master's degree. A cousin tells the AP he believes "she left her house with the idea … to try to help somebody," but wouldn't say more for fear of hampering the investigation.
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Hyphalax is not online. Hyphalax
Joined: 15 Jul 2011
Total Posts: 22375
07 Apr 2012 07:02 PM
so funny!!!!!!!
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PixarLane250 is not online. PixarLane250
Joined: 07 May 2011
Total Posts: 3654
07 Apr 2012 07:05 PM
how many people does it take to screw in a lite bulb

A German identified only as "Jan O.," who admitted eating the flesh of one of his two teenage victims, has been sentenced to life in prison. The killer, 26, confessed to licking blood from the wound of a 14-year-old girl he murdered and eating her whole body using only his hands. He had lured her to the woods intending to her, reports the AP, but cut her throat instead, the court was told. Five days later he assaulted and killed a 13-year-old boy. "I don't know what came over me," the killer told the victims' families in court. The judge said the murders showed an "almost unimaginable dimension of criminality."
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Hyphalax is not online. Hyphalax
Joined: 15 Jul 2011
Total Posts: 22375
07 Apr 2012 07:08 PM
XD!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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PixarLane250 is not online. PixarLane250
Joined: 07 May 2011
Total Posts: 3654
07 Apr 2012 07:11 PM
where do the cows go on fridays?????

Five men have been charged in the abduction and slayings of two Michigan women who were kidnapped and stuffed in a car trunk at gunpoint, a prosecutor said Saturday.

Wayne County Prosecutor Kym Worthy announced the charges during a morning news conference.

The men are being charged in the deaths of friends and roommates Abreeya Brown, 18, and Ashley Conaway, 22, who were abducted on Feb. 28. Their bodies were discovered March 25 in shallow graves in a wooded area on Detroit's west side, not far from their home in Hamtramck. The women had been bound and shot in the head.

Brandon Cain, 26, Miguel Rodriguez, 24, Reginald Brown, 24, Jeremy Brown, 19, and Brian Lee, 25, all of Detroit, are charged with two counts of first-degree murder, two counts of felony murder, two counts of torture and two counts of unlawful imprisonment.

Authorities said Conaway may have been targeted for telling police that Lee and Cain shot at her nearly three weeks before the abduction.

The two men face attempted murder charges in that case in Wayne County Circuit Court, where they are accused of shooting at Abreeya Brown and Conaway's car on Feb. 8. Witnesses have said Cain had been romantically pursuing Conaway.

Worthy said the case serves as a reminder about the importance of witness protection.

"This case represents many of our fears when it comes to vital witnesses in a case," the prosecutor said. "These women were heroic. They refused to relent and let these defendants deter them from continuing on with their previous case, and they paid with their lives."

Lee's attorney, Arnold Reed, said his client was innocent. Reed said witnesses at a recent hearing in the first case were Cain's family members, and noted that Conway described the suspect as standing 5-foot7 though Lee is 6-foot-1.

"You've got relatives of the co-defendant because they want to save their relative's hide. The girls couldn't even identify my client as being there. There's a heck of a lot of difference between 5'7" and 6'1"," Reed said.

He called the charges baseless, saying prosecutors have no evidence against Lee.

"No finger prints, no DNA, no ballistics. None of that," Reed added. "This is just an effort to quiet down the public, and give the public a little ease."

A message seeking comment was left Saturday by The Associated Press for Cain's attorney, Wright Blake.

Cain and Reginald Brown also are charged with felony firearm, and Cain is charged with being a felon in possession of a firearm in the slayings case.

If convicted as charged, the five men face life in prison without the possibility of parole.

Maria Miller, a spokeswoman for Worthy's office, said she didn't have any information on whether Rodriguez, Reginald Brown and Jeremy Brown have attorneys.

Reginald Brown and Jeremy Brown are cousins unrelated to Abreeya Brown, the prosecutor's office said. They were arraigned Saturday and face a preliminary examination April 19, when a judge will decide if there's enough evidence for them to stand trial.

Cain, Rodriguez and Lee will be arraigned in Hamtramck District Court on Monday. Cain and Lee face arraignment on the attempted murder charges Thursday. Their lawyers have said authorities lack credible evidence against their clients.

Abreeya Brown's stepfather, Major Chapman, testified during a court hearing last month that Brown called him from the trunk of a car after she was kidnapped. Chapman said he was showering in the Hamtramck home he shared with the women when he heard someone "ring the bell frantically."

The 56-year-old said he rushed downstairs and opened the door to see Cain in the street with a gun, and another man dragging his stepdaughter.

Chapman said he traded gunshots with the men before they drove off.

Five minutes later, Brown called saying she and Conaway were in the car's trunk, Chapman said. She didn't say where they were going or who had taken them.
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