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Re: FEAR Surprise Attack

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cpb1199 is not online. cpb1199
Joined: 30 Jun 2011
Total Posts: 1557
26 Mar 2012 02:04 PM
Book 1
Chaper 1

It was a cold day in Venezia. As I got ready to patrol Alinator, I heard a VROOM! above me. I looked up, and saw hundreds or UCR planes. At that time, there we no Generals, no Colonels, and no other Officers besides me. This meant I was in contorl of about the other 50,000 FEAR members at the base. I ran towards the gate, where Privates, Corporals, Sergeants, and Lieutenants were shocked, as result of the UCR raid. I ordered some Lieutenants to get on the AA guns, while I ordered some Sergeants to go get some RPG's from the base to shoot at the planes.

The mass raid of the UCR planes made all the Privates and Corporals run a muck. I ordered them to prepare if any UCR tanks and ground forces arrived. When I looked up, I saw a FEAR helicopter. When it landed near the gate, I ran towards it. Then the door opened, and FEAR General animalmagic came out. I told her of the situation, and she immediately took control of all the FEAR members. As she ran toward the building to call for backup, a bomb landed 10 feet away from her....

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TheEpicPwnor is not online. TheEpicPwnor
Joined: 16 Jan 2011
Total Posts: 5609
26 Mar 2012 02:06 PM
Cool, Venezia? RRM's is Vektavia. Similar to vaktovia.
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alkia is not online. alkia
Joined: 15 Nov 2008
Total Posts: 25645
26 Mar 2012 02:07 PM
Since when were planes cars?
''or UCR planes''?
''contorl''?
Why are you, a non important FEAR member the protagonist?

So many questions, so many errors.

I advise giving up on writing stories.
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cpb1199 is not online. cpb1199
Joined: 30 Jun 2011
Total Posts: 1557
26 Mar 2012 02:09 PM
Shut up Alkia.
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anlm123 is not online. anlm123
Joined: 05 Jun 2010
Total Posts: 446
26 Mar 2012 02:09 PM
Cpb, can you include me?
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cpb1199 is not online. cpb1199
Joined: 30 Jun 2011
Total Posts: 1557
26 Mar 2012 02:10 PM
Sure.
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anlm123 is not online. anlm123
Joined: 05 Jun 2010
Total Posts: 446
26 Mar 2012 02:11 PM
Shut up, Team Domino.
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Armanos is not online. Armanos
Joined: 03 Jul 2010
Total Posts: 14602
26 Mar 2012 02:11 PM
lol alkia.
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IntimidationMan is not online. IntimidationMan
Joined: 26 Oct 2011
Total Posts: 250
26 Mar 2012 02:19 PM
I like it. It's dramatic.

However, 'contorl' is not a word... I suppose you were speed typing?
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alkia is not online. alkia
Joined: 15 Nov 2008
Total Posts: 25645
26 Mar 2012 02:21 PM
Shut up FEAR trololol
umad this kids has no gramor or skel in writing

It's an arguable fact, but probability suggests that I caused FEAR's reform.

SO YEAH, COME AT ME BRO.
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cpb1199 is not online. cpb1199
Joined: 30 Jun 2011
Total Posts: 1557
26 Mar 2012 02:22 PM
I can pwn you anytime. So shut up you little 2nd grader.
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anlm123 is not online. anlm123
Joined: 05 Jun 2010
Total Posts: 446
26 Mar 2012 02:23 PM
alkia, If you don't have anything good to say don't say it at all.
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cpb1199 is not online. cpb1199
Joined: 30 Jun 2011
Total Posts: 1557
26 Mar 2012 02:23 PM
Yea Intimidation. I was.
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alkia is not online. alkia
Joined: 15 Nov 2008
Total Posts: 25645
26 Mar 2012 02:25 PM
What's a 2nd grader?

Is that year 2 or something like that.


You have the spelling and literacy skill of a ''2nd grader''
*Hopes it was an insult*

I can say what I want, negative criticism is criticism none the less.
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IntimidationMan is not online. IntimidationMan
Joined: 26 Oct 2011
Total Posts: 250
26 Mar 2012 02:29 PM
Alkia does have a point. But still, speed typing is an unavoidable mess-you-up tool. You can't blame him...
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St0rmx is not online. St0rmx
Joined: 23 Mar 2010
Total Posts: 16104
26 Mar 2012 02:30 PM
[ Content Deleted ]
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linkskills is not online. linkskills
Joined: 12 Jun 2010
Total Posts: 6642
26 Mar 2012 02:30 PM
Alkia is in High School....
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Armanos is not online. Armanos
Joined: 03 Jul 2010
Total Posts: 14602
26 Mar 2012 02:30 PM
alkiayoubritishlikemebro?
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alkia is not online. alkia
Joined: 15 Nov 2008
Total Posts: 25645
26 Mar 2012 02:30 PM
I can touch type too.

When you're writing a story, it's important to make sure your story is impeccable. Sloppy errors make you and your story look bad.

And all FEAR did is rage at me for being honest :(
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Grapthor is not online. Grapthor
Joined: 25 Jul 2009
Total Posts: 2715
26 Mar 2012 02:31 PM
What type of m00b speed types a Dramatic story, get off you fool, CnG is not for stories, at least, not your kind.
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linkskills is not online. linkskills
Joined: 12 Jun 2010
Total Posts: 6642
26 Mar 2012 02:31 PM
"None the less my a s s. You are probably a whiny little b i t c h. And yes, you can say 2nd grader. It's correct grammar."

"It's correct grammar." You sir, have no right to talk over his grammar that was a fragment, never are you to use a fragment.
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Grapthor is not online. Grapthor
Joined: 25 Jul 2009
Total Posts: 2715
26 Mar 2012 02:31 PM
Get out CPB, your going to far.
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alkia is not online. alkia
Joined: 15 Nov 2008
Total Posts: 25645
26 Mar 2012 02:32 PM
Sir I don't like that offensive language on my forum.

I mustache you to leave.

Oh and, umad?
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cpb1199 is not online. cpb1199
Joined: 30 Jun 2011
Total Posts: 1557
26 Mar 2012 02:33 PM
I'm a Junior of High School. So shut up. This IS correct grammar. I was speed typing fast because I have a 5 page report due tomorrow.
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Grapthor is not online. Grapthor
Joined: 25 Jul 2009
Total Posts: 2715
26 Mar 2012 02:33 PM
What type of m00b rages over constructive crit.
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