|
| 17 Mar 2012 06:13 PM |
It was around 9 PM, President Tonyhohoho4 was awaiting the morning. He had a speech to give to OT about the new alliance between the two forums. He was questioning how an alliance of forums worked aswell. He finally layed his head to rest, but little did he know about the day ahead of him.
He awoke in the morning to General Badboy392 at his doorstep of the motel he was in. He was still a little nervous. Knowing how the trolls were, he was wondering if he would go insane.
General Badboy: Good morning, Mr. President!
President Tony: Good morning, General.
General Badboy: We have our ride ready. We will be ariving in OT a couple clicks!
*click click*
General Badboy: Here we are!
As soon as President Tony stepped into the forum, however that works, he was greeted by OT Prime Minister Wowhesmatureforanoter.
PM Wow: Hello sir! Look over there!
President Tony: What?
Suddenly, PM Wow took a missile launcher and shot President Tony.
General Badboy: No!
General Badboy fled the scene.
*click click*
General Badboy met with General Artia44.
General Artia: Yes, Badboy?
General Badboy: Artia, our President has been shot!
General Artia: But he respawns...
General Badboy: No! He was shot with a banrocket!
General Artia: >:0 WAR WITH OT! |
|
|
| Report Abuse |
|
|
Lissitski
|
  |
| Joined: 19 Dec 2009 |
| Total Posts: 30369 |
|
| |
|
|
| 17 Mar 2012 06:14 PM |
| very cool |
|
|
| Report Abuse |
|
|
|
| 17 Mar 2012 06:14 PM |
>OT
I have problems with this story.
~Mendicant Bias~ {Join Frontline Initiative today!} |
|
|
| Report Abuse |
|
|
|
| 17 Mar 2012 06:14 PM |
| I may make another tonight if I am now busy with BF3 |
|
|
| Report Abuse |
|
|
Artia44
|
  |
| Joined: 15 May 2009 |
| Total Posts: 24951 |
|
|
| 17 Mar 2012 06:15 PM |
"General Badboy: We have our ride ready. We will be ariving in OT a couple clicks! click click"
i lol'd |
|
|
| Report Abuse |
|
|
Aminulus
|
  |
| Joined: 06 Jan 2012 |
| Total Posts: 12186 |
|
| |
|
| |
|
|
| 17 Mar 2012 06:17 PM |
| Epic story, put me in, I wanna be a good epic ninja. |
|
|
| Report Abuse |
|
|
Graulas
|
  |
| Joined: 26 Nov 2010 |
| Total Posts: 8634 |
|
|
| 17 Mar 2012 06:17 PM |
Your skills as a writer is of someone who needs practice. You show an edge over most C&Gers who have the creativity of Hunger Games. You have a feeling you can write and you try to achieve beyond your skill. I recommend going to role-play forum for touch ups as I have done.
But other than that, you are an OK writer. Props for you for being recognized by Graulas as well as having his attention of the current moment. |
|
|
| Report Abuse |
|
|
|
| 17 Mar 2012 06:18 PM |
@Vic
When the next series comes out. |
|
|
| Report Abuse |
|
|
|
| 17 Mar 2012 06:19 PM |
@Graul
I'm not trying as of now. Go look up "Paranoia" by me and you will see my greater works. |
|
|
| Report Abuse |
|
|
| |
|
Lissitski
|
  |
| Joined: 19 Dec 2009 |
| Total Posts: 30369 |
|
|
| 17 Mar 2012 06:23 PM |
Your story seems a bit like a script for a film rather than a literary text.
The frequent use of colons and asterisks indicate that. If you want it to be a literary text, join the paragraphs together, and be more descriptive about each journey, the place, the appearance of each character, etc.
Other than that, it's good.
~Liss~ |
|
|
| Report Abuse |
|
|
Solotaire
|
  |
| Joined: 30 Jul 2009 |
| Total Posts: 30356 |
|
| |
|
caleb244
|
  |
| Joined: 02 Aug 2009 |
| Total Posts: 12389 |
|
|
| 17 Mar 2012 06:38 PM |
| bump... |
|
|
| Report Abuse |
|
|
Darxia
|
  |
| Joined: 28 Jul 2010 |
| Total Posts: 3902 |
|
| |
|
Yan117
|
  |
| Joined: 15 Mar 2011 |
| Total Posts: 21994 |
|
| |
|
Graulas
|
  |
| Joined: 26 Nov 2010 |
| Total Posts: 8634 |
|
|
| 17 Mar 2012 07:12 PM |
| Bump for the possibility of new writers and a free book. |
|
|
| Report Abuse |
|
|
ShadowSTR
|
  |
| Joined: 08 Jul 2010 |
| Total Posts: 24465 |
|
|
| 17 Mar 2012 07:15 PM |
| Would think C5 would be c7g president for obvious reasons. |
|
|
| Report Abuse |
|
|