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Re: Это конец для меня ...

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AlvAlv6II is not online. AlvAlv6II
Joined: 29 Aug 2009
Total Posts: 791
09 Mar 2012 08:59 PM
I have a few confessions to make, before the world forces them from me.

I know what you're thinking, you're thinking 'Oh some other idiot making this all up'. This thinking is not true, if you read what I have to say.

I am haunted, it never leaves me, it is a part of me. I cannot let go of this, no matter how hard i try. It was years before I was born. Chernobyl. for some reasno, i feel responsible for the entire inciden. I have been studying it for a while...and i feel an intense connection with Aleksandr Akimov, almost as if I was him. he was a control room operator during the disaster. he tried to save the reactor after the explosion, and was exposed to 15 Gy of radiation. he died two weeks later, on May 10 1986. I almost feel like I know him, that I am him. Maybe I was him once. You think I'm crazy. You think I'm not what I say. I've turned into a wreck, my mind has nothing but Chernobyl in it. Please hear my last attempt to try and be heard, everythign else ive done has gone unnoticed, nobody has looked, nobody has found it.

I almost rememebr the disaster as it unfolded. As I learned more, the more I rememebered. It's kind of a fuzzy, very distant memory...but it is tere. the contorl rom, everyine shouting at each other, convinced it wasn't their fault. but Akimov was the one who made the vital mistake. he made one mistake in a whole line of mistakes, the last mistake that set off the explosion in the reactor and scarred the world for decades to come. the horrors of chernobyl cannot go unheard, I am a prime example of that. I'm done trying. I have nothing eft in my mind but Chernobyl, and it is me, I am it.

I know thos seems like insane rambling, but this is my last plea for help, so if someone, anyone, has anythng to try and help me get it out of my head please post it below...
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PrivatePansy is not online. PrivatePansy
Joined: 21 Jan 2012
Total Posts: 861
09 Mar 2012 08:59 PM
You're a fat, autistic loser.
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zalak123 is not online. zalak123
Joined: 27 Jul 2009
Total Posts: 12516
09 Mar 2012 09:01 PM
I believe you.

Your a cool guy.

q
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Gripie123 is not online. Gripie123
Joined: 10 Dec 2008
Total Posts: 2196
09 Mar 2012 09:03 PM
Talk to a specialist.


~Think. Create. A c h I e v e.
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jakerman416 is not online. jakerman416
Joined: 12 Feb 2011
Total Posts: 2745
09 Mar 2012 09:03 PM
Not a bad creepypasta. If it wasn't supposed to be one...I think you have some mental issues.
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AlvAlv6II is not online. AlvAlv6II
Joined: 29 Aug 2009
Total Posts: 791
09 Mar 2012 09:04 PM
One excerpt that seems familiar is this being shouted across the frantic control room.

"Петр! Петр! Перейти вызвать пожарную команду, заставить их реагировать на пожар в машинном зале!"
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AlvAlv6II is not online. AlvAlv6II
Joined: 29 Aug 2009
Total Posts: 791
09 Mar 2012 09:08 PM
sometimes i hallucinate it as if I'm still there, that it's all unfolding around me over and over again...

The date is burned into my memory.

Aprril 26 1986
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jakerman416 is not online. jakerman416
Joined: 12 Feb 2011
Total Posts: 2745
09 Mar 2012 09:09 PM
Translation:Peter! Peter! Go call the fire brigade to get them to respond to a fire in the engine room!

You're welcome.
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n00bythegr3y is not online. n00bythegr3y
Joined: 27 Nov 2011
Total Posts: 1220
09 Mar 2012 09:12 PM
Stulbs krievu. Apturēt rīkojas kā jautājums bija Krievijā. Tas bija Ukrainā.
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AlvAlv6II is not online. AlvAlv6II
Joined: 29 Aug 2009
Total Posts: 791
09 Mar 2012 09:22 PM
why can't I get it out of my head?...how do I get it out? How do I get the voices of the people, the sight of the horror, all of it out of me? I've been hearing their voices, the voices of the people there...everyone there...
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AlvAlv6II is not online. AlvAlv6II
Joined: 29 Aug 2009
Total Posts: 791
09 Mar 2012 09:27 PM
I have my knife next to me. Maybe it's time to use it...maybe then it'll end...
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n00bythegr3y is not online. n00bythegr3y
Joined: 27 Nov 2011
Total Posts: 1220
09 Mar 2012 09:29 PM
You do know that you have spoken in Russian, even though the workers and the country it was in was Ukraine?
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AlvAlv6II is not online. AlvAlv6II
Joined: 29 Aug 2009
Total Posts: 791
09 Mar 2012 09:31 PM
I know that, I can't figure out how to learn Ukranian, the russian just clicked into me...Oh *-censored-*, I can't go on like this...Someone tell me, why am I of any value to the world?

maybe I should end it all now...
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n00bythegr3y is not online. n00bythegr3y
Joined: 27 Nov 2011
Total Posts: 1220
09 Mar 2012 09:32 PM
Ukrainian = Russian with slightly different accent and alphabet.
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toxic1vampire is not online. toxic1vampire
Joined: 18 May 2009
Total Posts: 8084
09 Mar 2012 09:33 PM
Didn't someone post this like 5 months ago?

my rainbowness, it compels you
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AlvAlv6II is not online. AlvAlv6II
Joined: 29 Aug 2009
Total Posts: 791
09 Mar 2012 09:33 PM
that was me 5 months ago
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SpeedyTehturtle is not online. SpeedyTehturtle
Joined: 31 Mar 2009
Total Posts: 6117
09 Mar 2012 09:35 PM
@n00b

ukraine was under soviet control back when Chernobyl happened, so Russian was pretty much the main language.
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n00bythegr3y is not online. n00bythegr3y
Joined: 27 Nov 2011
Total Posts: 1220
09 Mar 2012 09:38 PM
@Speedytehturtle

But the Soviets allowed people with high-positions, such as working on large nuclear reactors, military positions, government positions, etc. to use their native language.

Chernobyl, being how big it was to the energy developed in the Soviet Union, was a very important and high-powered job. Ukrainian was the spoken language.
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AlvAlv6II is not online. AlvAlv6II
Joined: 29 Aug 2009
Total Posts: 791
09 Mar 2012 09:53 PM
so...what should I do? Stab myself, slit my throat, do nothing...
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101210 is not online. 101210
Joined: 03 Mar 2012
Total Posts: 1791
09 Mar 2012 09:56 PM
OKAY DUDE! GO TO A PSYCHIC! THATS YOUR BEST CHOICE..then killing yourself. '


Got it?

And I won't call the hospital if anything happens.
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tanjabird is not online. tanjabird
Joined: 20 Jul 2011
Total Posts: 3182
09 Mar 2012 09:59 PM
That happened to me when i learned bout some stuff almost like reincarnation i feel a big connnection to king tut
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toxic1vampire is not online. toxic1vampire
Joined: 18 May 2009
Total Posts: 8084
09 Mar 2012 10:03 PM
tanja, please be joking

i've heard of people who think they had a "past life" of being an animal

why don't you just stop fooling yourself

you are a human that is not an animal nor another human

once you get something in your brain, your brain will try and bias anything you see as a sign of something

look it up, bro

my rainbowness, it compels you
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AlvAlv6II is not online. AlvAlv6II
Joined: 29 Aug 2009
Total Posts: 791
09 Mar 2012 10:10 PM
it's just wierd, that I seem to know what happened in there so well, it all seems familliar. It just seems that Akimov is the closest one to what seems familiar. This must soundl ike insane rambling, none of what I'm saying makes any sense... am I starting to go crazy?...who am I even talking to?!

Maybe it's time to end it all...it really seems like it would work...
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monkeyismymii is not online. monkeyismymii
Joined: 03 Feb 2010
Total Posts: 11654
09 Mar 2012 10:16 PM
Ok, first off stop suggesting killing yourself. If you are trolling, its really pathetic, and if your'e serious. Just no... But anyways, do you have a therapyst? Or a pshycologist? Not saying your crazy..... Also this tends to happen in people that study Chernobyl. But you seem to have an extreme case.

And remember... We don't know. And never will.
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