LM8EN1553
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| Joined: 11 Feb 2012 |
| Total Posts: 273 |
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| 26 Feb 2012 09:32 PM |
I think it's climbing to obsession now.
She is the only girl I have any respect for. The only one I take seriously. She's interesting, engaging, and others don't see it for some reason, but she has the prettiest face I've ever seen.
I thought I would get over it. She was 12 when I first saw her. Do you believe in love at first sight? I never did, and my mind probably still doesn't, but my screaming heart still tells me it is so.
It was the first day of the new school year. There she sat; still, aware, turning around slightly in her chair, two rows ahead of me. I sat; motionless, wondering who that nymphet was. Her subtle curving hair, a magical brown, like a smooth waterfall of a delicate Dorada wave. Those eyes, oh Lord Almighty, save my soul from her entrancing eyes, gone under that nymphets spell, I have.
I think I knew, deep down inside, I knew all along, I was never and am not good enough for her. Sure we became good friends. I even went so far as to spar the occasional gift, my attempt at a subtle hint. She accepted and returned the favor, but I was too weak to finish closing the gap. Of course I knew she was also interested. I still savor this day and night each painfully far-away moment we spent together.
She, a grandiosa-soon-to-be bypassing like a typical Asian, not to be stereotypical, but it is what it is. Kind, witty with a wit I had not seen in girls, sure she attracted some of the other nerds, to my distress, I found my best friend might be attracted to her. I know how evil I sound, but I am thankful they could never be together, as circumstance would not allow it.
I am lazy, an underachiever, shallow, vain, and prone to fits of depression and selfish cruelty. I know I will never be at her side, being her man.
D.M., I just hope you find a man [or woman] who can take care of you, who loves you the way you deserve, sticks by you, someone with lots of cash to make you happy, and provide what I know I can not. |
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| 26 Feb 2012 09:33 PM |
| moms sweaty spaghetti palms etc etc |
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| 26 Feb 2012 09:33 PM |
| You are quite a great storyteller <: |
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LM8EN1553
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| Joined: 11 Feb 2012 |
| Total Posts: 273 |
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| 26 Feb 2012 09:36 PM |
Ohh... It boils that rage in me, when I think of how my best friend was friends with her. How they texted, talked, joked about. Part of me hates my best friends' guts. I hope he dies.
The worst part of it all is that it is my fault that me and DM grew distant. My best friend is far better suited for her, and they even fight.
Oh how I hate you! Cruel primal love and my best friend! If they are fighting like I saw them do, it only indicates that they love each other deep down. While DM and I are like best pals, OH CRUEL WORLD, that may be all we will ever be, just friends. I am sure of it. |
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MangoJack
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| Joined: 08 Dec 2011 |
| Total Posts: 12108 |
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LM8EN1553
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| Joined: 11 Feb 2012 |
| Total Posts: 273 |
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| 26 Feb 2012 09:39 PM |
thatsawesome,
please screw off. can't you see I'm busy with self loathing, pity and unjustified jealousy and hate? |
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| 26 Feb 2012 09:46 PM |
I was only trying to be friendly ;_;
*cries* |
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LM8EN1553
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| Joined: 11 Feb 2012 |
| Total Posts: 273 |
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| 26 Feb 2012 09:48 PM |
| i dont know what to think anymore.. |
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vienna456
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| Joined: 12 Sep 2010 |
| Total Posts: 15043 |
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| 26 Feb 2012 09:50 PM |
oh wow, that is really sad...is there no way it can still work out?
I think there still could be a chance that you two could still be together |
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LM8EN1553
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| Joined: 11 Feb 2012 |
| Total Posts: 273 |
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| 26 Feb 2012 09:54 PM |
oh, hahahah, don';t you worry about that there are hundreds of chances. chances so many I could bottle them and sell them.
but no. i cant, I'd only drag her down and keep her from being all she can be. she has big dreams. so do i, but she has more a chance to make them come true. through a wall of tears I cry at night into my pillow, after the lights are off, I can cry, because that's when no one sees. even my own walls don't know. only my pillow case knows I cry at night, and I drown it every day in the washing machine to make sure it doesn't tell anyone.
I just know I'm not good enough, |
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| 26 Feb 2012 09:58 PM |
| It's that kind of thinking that makes it impossible. |
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LM8EN1553
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| Joined: 11 Feb 2012 |
| Total Posts: 273 |
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| 26 Feb 2012 10:02 PM |
| yeah, it's been six years now since I first met her. going on seven years. |
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vienna456
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| Joined: 12 Sep 2010 |
| Total Posts: 15043 |
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| 26 Feb 2012 10:05 PM |
| I'm a hopeless romantic so I would say never give up hope for true love....but not to the point of stalking.... |
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| 26 Feb 2012 10:09 PM |
| Currently, it's a case of "One-Sided-Love-For-Childhood-Friend Syndrome" when it come to the girl I like (Or I think I do, at the least. Liked her in the past, and she's the only one who can put a smile on my face by talking naturally, but I'm a doubtful person. Enough to doubt my own feelings, apparently). She knows I do, but her lack of any noticeable reaction worries me. The other person I'm not sure about already likes someone, who just happens to the clueless type of person. Hence, a love "line," as I call it. |
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PopDot
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| Joined: 30 Dec 2010 |
| Total Posts: 1393 |
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onsub
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| Joined: 11 Feb 2012 |
| Total Posts: 791 |
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