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| 25 Feb 2012 09:53 AM |
Hey guys. This is my first forum post, and I want it to be about my story, but I don't know whether to keep on makin' it, or just give up. Tell me your opinion. Should I keep writing, or give up on this story? Also, please tell me things I could improve on, so if I do continue, it will be more appealing.
Chapter 1
"I can't believe this," Danny groaned. "I got another C on my math test." "It's alright," Chelsea told him. "It's not like your goin' to jail or somethin'. It's just a stupid math test." Danny had gotten yet another C. His parents were worried, and were thinking about sending him to summer-school. But he would rather die than go there. People used to tell him stories about summer-school. They said that if you weren't good, the teacher would kill you. But, of course, he didn't believe them. But Danny did know that it was all work, and nothing else. Also, where his parents wanted to send him, you got no snacks, and you were there for 5 hours. It seemed like a jail for the dumb. "But Chelsea. You don't understand. My parents said if I got one more C, I'd have to go to summer-school!" Danny said. "Maybe I should just use ink remover and change it to an A. Or maybe I could hide it." "Danny, they'd find out." Chelsea replied. "They'd get all suspicious, and ask the teacher." Danny thought the same thing. He was really worried, and the day just seemed like it kept getting worse. And then, his day was completely ruined. He ran into the school bully. "Hey, you!" he screamed. "You're gonna get a beatin' worse then you could ever imagine! You, me, 5:00, after school!" The bully, Ruskel, was chasing Danny around. Danny was running and screaming. "What's next?!" Danny screamed. "I'll get hit by a car?" Danny ran home and slammed the door so Ruskel couldn't get in. He locked the door and ran upstairs. He laid down on his bed and hid under his covers, until his dad came in and found him. "What are you doing?" he asked. "Why are ya hidin'?" "There's some guy chasing me!" Danny answered. "He wants to fight me, but I don't know how to fight!" His dad went downstairs and opened the door. "What is it?" he asked. "Who are you?" Ruskel growled. "I'm Danny's dad," he replied. "I'm gonna kill your son! Tell him I said that!" "If you try to hurt my son, then I'll call the cops on you!" Danny's dad yelled. Danny's dad slammed the door in Ruskel's face. He stuck up the loser sign through the window. "Danny, what was that all about?" "I accidentely ran into him, and he started screamin' at me." Danny replied. "If he tries to hurt you, run and call the cops." Danny nodded his head, which told his dad that he was listening. He had no clue as to what was going to happen the next day. He just wanted to start his whole life over again...
So, that's my first chapter! Tell me if you like it, and tell me your opinion about what was good and what was bad. I'm around the age of 13, so it's not that good. And also, tell me if I should go on! |
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| 25 Feb 2012 10:00 AM |
Actually, I am going to go on. I think that I should keep on doing what I love, and I think I have a special talent in writing. So I'm going to share my talent with the world, (Or at least the group) and keep on writing/typing.
~PlayWithBuddies |
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| 25 Feb 2012 11:09 AM |
| I've just finished the second chapter, so here it is! http://www.roblox.com/Forum/ShowPost.aspx?PostID=63417735 |
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| 25 Feb 2012 11:16 AM |
| Actually, that wasn't the right link. I've corrected it, so here it is. http://www.roblox.com/Forum/ShowPost.aspx?PostID=63421976 sorry, for the confusion. |
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| 25 Feb 2012 11:18 AM |
| very interesting keep going! |
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