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Re: Zodiak. (A forum story)

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boombaby is not online. boombaby
Joined: 19 May 2008
Total Posts: 401
06 Feb 2012 04:11 PM
(The following is not part of the story, the story starts next post.)

Hello ROBLOXians, I am Boombaby, one of the many writers of ROBLOX and I am bringing you my forum story I have been pushed into writing by peer pressure titled "Zodiak". It will most likely be divided into three to four acts. Each act includes about twenty to fifty chapters. So it will be a long one if I stick with it, which I probably will.

ALSO! If you try to take this as your own, I will know, plus, I might try to publish this if I think it turns out good, I always have five chapters written before each post so by the time I am at the fifth to last post, I will have the story done, and would have submitted it to a publishing company. So don't try anything, cause it won't work.
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This is owned by Boombaby or the real life persona which will not, and never be revealed.
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Thank you, and enjoy reading this.
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Also, after each chapter, act, or the end of the story, tell me what you thought of it, and what to improve on, and if you want, give me ideas. Most likley I will discard them and not use them, for I already have a ton of ideas. But who knows, you might make a good, convicing one I might use.
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ENJOY THE STORY!
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boombaby is not online. boombaby
Joined: 19 May 2008
Total Posts: 401
06 Feb 2012 04:12 PM
Act I, Chapter i.


Treking through this endless wasteland. My canteen is dry as a bone. The suns rays glare down at my partner, John, and I with it's scarring beams of light. My feet constantly slip off of the frozen ground of Frostaria and I must use my gloved hands to break my fall. The cold arctic air swifts by me, sending chills down my spine with every swing it takes. The snow bolting through the air around me blinds my vision and I have to put my arm infront of my face to block it from getting into my already fogged eyes.

"Nick... how far away are we from the base?" John asked gasping for air.
"I don't know!" I yelled trying to get my voice through the sound of the dense snow smashing against my skin.

I removed my arm from infront of my face to see a small flash of light coming from a distant tower.

"John," I said pointing at the light with a small, shyly formed smile on my frost bit face, "I see a light, John!" I awaited a response but I heard nothing. I slowly turned around to notice that John had dissapeared.

"John?" I said nervously. "JOHN! WHERE ARE YOU!" I screamed as loud as I could. I franticly surveyed the frozen wasteland to see a body. A body laying face down in the snow. I ran over to it, one of my boots falling off as I lifted trampled through the deep white snow. I fell to my knees once I reached the body. I flipped the body around to see the now pale, ghastly face of John.

"John...?" I asked his dead body thinking he was still alive. "JOHN!!!? ANSWER ME DANGIT!!" I yelled at the top of my lungs shaking his corpse. I set down his body softly onto the bed of snow, as snow piled ontop of him like a blanket. I felt a tear start to flow down the side of my face, but in an instant I felt it freeze in the middle of my cheek creating a sharp burning feeling, stinging my cheek.
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boombaby is not online. boombaby
Joined: 19 May 2008
Total Posts: 401
06 Feb 2012 04:15 PM
Act I, Chaper ii.


I sat, staring in agony and sorrow at the corpse of John dissapearing in the death chilling snow. My foot was un-shoed and I could feel it start to get frost biten by the shivering air grazing across it, and the cold snow gripping onto it and burning the skin. The more John was covered, the more my emotions faded away. John had been my partner for many years. Infact, he was more than just a partner, he was a friend.

Knowing that if I stayed here to long I would soon meet the same fate as John had. I quickly brushed some of the snow off to see if I could relish any supplies from his utility belt, and back pack. I unbuttoned one of the compartments on his utility belt and pulled out some bullet shells, some empty, some full. I stuffed them into my ammo pouche and unbuttoned the next compartment to find a picture of John, his wife, and his three kids smiling infront of a waterfall back at our home town. I smiled softly, lips trembling in sorrow and I slowly slipped the picture inside of his coat pocket.

I finished searching the other compartments only to find some more ammunition, and some rations. I then moved onto the backpack. I slipped the back pack off of John's lifeless body only to drop it in complete and utter shock to what has just been revealed... My eyes widened in anger as I saw a large red spot of blood in the middle of his back where a bullet had hit... I sat motionless staring at the wound trying to analyse if the wound was actually fatal even though I knew the answer was yes.

I placed my hand on the bullet hole to feel a bullet lodged in his back, probably it was stopped by Johns spinal cord and other muscle tissues in his back. I timidly slipped my figures into the wound and tried to grab hold of the bullet. I twisted and pulled trying to get my index finger, and thumb around the object. After a few minutes of this I finally grasped it and gave a powerful pull to fall backwards onto the snow. I sat up and examined the bullet intently only to be saddened by what was on it...

It was the symbol of the Zodiak...
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boombaby is not online. boombaby
Joined: 19 May 2008
Total Posts: 401
06 Feb 2012 05:39 PM
Chapter iii coming soon...
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Scorch6429 is not online. Scorch6429
Joined: 04 Apr 2009
Total Posts: 1569
06 Feb 2012 06:12 PM
Yay. :3
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boombaby is not online. boombaby
Joined: 19 May 2008
Total Posts: 401
06 Feb 2012 10:13 PM
Act I, Chapter iii.


I couldn't believe they were back. The Zodiak who dissapeared over one-thousand years ago are coming back to life. They had one simple mission, to enslave all other humans in order to build a massive shrine to their so called "God" named Zodiak of course. Their emblem were five diamonds all lined up to form an odd shaped polygon. It is said that each one of the diamonds exists and that once all of them are brought together, the evil of Zodiak will be unleashed upon the world. I don't believe in this fairy tail nonsense but then again, I didn't believe in the Zodiak at first either.

I sat wondering what brought them back when I slowly started to come out of the shock of John being dead and I felt the sharp, burning pain in my foot. I clenched my teeth tightly at the feel of the pain.

"I...," I said to my self, stuttering, "need to get back to camp...!" I yelled out so I could hear myself talking. I got up slowly, trying not to touch my cold, blue and purple frost biten foot against the snowy blanket. I hopped over to my boot laying on the ground and kneeled down and picked it up. I dusted the snow out with my gloved hands to make sure it wasn't cold in there too. I slipped my foot in and as the hairs inside the boot grazed my foot with their moist and cold bristles, I gribbed the laces of the boot with my hand tightly fighting the intense pain.

"Dang this hurts...!" I said stammering in pain and I slowly got up onto my feet and walked over to John. I kneeled back down to flip him over to see that his face had gotten a bit less pale, as if he was coming back to life.

"John...? John are you alive...?" I asked the reviving corpse of John. I slowly began to see John's eyes begin to open then they closed slowly and shut tight. I saw a bright red glow from under his eye lids and I tilted my head to the side wondering what is happening. Then, in an instant, I felt the hands of John grab onto my wrists and his finger nails dug into my skin. He then opened his eyes, which were glowing a bright blood red and lunged at me with his mouth wide open, trying to bite me.

I fell backwards and put my hand on his neck pushing him back. His finger nails dug into my wrist cutting them, and causing an insane amount of pain when the cold air blew against it and snow went inside it. I placed the sole of my boot on John's chest and pushed him back, making him fall back onto his back. I got up quickly and drew out my pistol which had an engravement of an angel with bright, silver wings and a golden sword, also known as the symbol of the Paragon.

I walked up and walked steadily toward the grounded John as I watched him struggle to get up on feet. I pointed my pistol at his now sick, ghastly, face which skin was now falling off of. I walked closer and put my foot on his neck and pressed it down forcing him to the ground. I pointed my pistol at his head and shut my eyes tightly, a tear flowing down my blue, freezing face. My hand began to tremble and shake franticly in nervousness.

"I'm...," I said in a sad sorrowful voice, "I'm sorry I have to do this to you John... I... I really am..." I took a deep breath and placed my other hand on the gun to keep it steady. I slowly started to pull back on the trigger.

"I'M SORRY JO--...!" I was cut off by the booming of a gun shot...
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KennyKenUchiha is not online. KennyKenUchiha
Joined: 18 Aug 2009
Total Posts: 1035
06 Feb 2012 10:27 PM
Like a baw$!
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boombaby is not online. boombaby
Joined: 19 May 2008
Total Posts: 401
06 Feb 2012 10:30 PM
;~; I'll take that as a complement. ^~^

Please share this thread with friends who are looking for a good forum story. I'll try to write some more of these tomorrow.

Keep reading them, I have some exciting plot twists ahead.
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marley235 is not online. marley235
Joined: 04 Feb 2012
Total Posts: 125
06 Feb 2012 10:39 PM
Nice. I liked it so far. More action though... like a battle or something.
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boombaby is not online. boombaby
Joined: 19 May 2008
Total Posts: 401
06 Feb 2012 11:29 PM
Act I, Chapter iv coming tomorrow!

Guess what will happen! If you guess right, you get a spot in the story as a character with the name of your choice (I'm making the personality cause I already have it all planned out.)
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marley235 is not online. marley235
Joined: 04 Feb 2012
Total Posts: 125
06 Feb 2012 11:38 PM
He kills John and then is attacked by the Zodiak people.
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marley235 is not online. marley235
Joined: 04 Feb 2012
Total Posts: 125
06 Feb 2012 11:39 PM
Or he gets shot and is captured.
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purepower212 is not online. purepower212
Joined: 27 Jan 2009
Total Posts: 2694
06 Feb 2012 11:40 PM
Very nice but there should be more character development thats all by the way i love your detailing in the story most starting ou authors like my self forget to write details most of the time.
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purepower212 is not online. purepower212
Joined: 27 Jan 2009
Total Posts: 2694
06 Feb 2012 11:41 PM
i hope if any of u could check my story out this is my 5th book that i'm hoping to finish

http://www.roblox.com/Forum/ShowPost.aspx?PostID=62528423
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Scorch6429 is not online. Scorch6429
Joined: 04 Apr 2009
Total Posts: 1569
07 Feb 2012 07:11 AM
Nice... My guess is that the fire came from the camp thing and the people thought that Nick was evil for trying to kill John. :P
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boombaby is not online. boombaby
Joined: 19 May 2008
Total Posts: 401
07 Feb 2012 12:59 PM
Lol. None of u are anywhere near right! XD keep guessing.
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boombaby is not online. boombaby
Joined: 19 May 2008
Total Posts: 401
07 Feb 2012 01:02 PM
Also, this story is going to have dialouge. Story, twists, and characters. Don't expect fighting at every other line. This is a serious story. Little kids wont understand most of the themes, phrases, and words i include. So yeah...
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Scorch6429 is not online. Scorch6429
Joined: 04 Apr 2009
Total Posts: 1569
07 Feb 2012 02:58 PM
Hmm... I have no idea. >_< I give up. I fail at guessing storylines.
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boombaby is not online. boombaby
Joined: 19 May 2008
Total Posts: 401
07 Feb 2012 03:13 PM
I opened my eyes and looked at where John was, but there was nothing there. Nothing at all, he had just vanished. I looked around the wasteland in search of him, but noting. Then, I felt a stabbing pain emerging in my right arm. I gritted my teeth tightly and yelled at the pain. Soon, I started to hear voices, familiar voices...

"Doctor," one of them said in a calm tone, "he is stuck in the past again."

"I see," exclaimed one of them in a assertive tone, "Restrain him please."

I felt the sharp pain go away as I saw shadows of people start to emerge infront of me. They were wearing white robes, dewrags, and face masks. It seemed so angelic to me. Then, suddenly I felt myself get pulled onto a cold, steel feeling surface and something tighten tightly around my wrists, and ankles. I started breathing heavily and struggled to get free. I saw nothing though. There was nothing, it was as if the air was holding me back.

Soon I started to see flickerings of walls and lights. My eyes shut loosely before immediately reopening to be in a completely new enviornment. The wasteland was replaced by a small room, with white padded walls, a small bed, and a toilet. I turned my head back and forth rapidly in shock of what had happened.

"What happened...?" I stammered breathing heavily. No one answered, they were to busy sticking needles into me, and drawing blood.

"What are you doing...?" I said a little louder than before and not as stuttering. Still, no answer, as if they didn't understand what I was saying, or just didn't care.

"Where am I...!?" I yelled at them and struggled trying to get free.

"Relax, Nick. Your safe now..." I heard the same assertive voice from eariler say. "Tell me, what do you remember?"

"Wheres John...?!" I yelled at him in anger and frustration, still trying to break free. "And where am I!?

"You don't remember a thing, do you... you are in Tridant Insane Asylm. You have been here for the past five years and you keep forgeting." The voice said. I saw a man turn the corner and enter the room. He was tall, and has no hair, nor facial hair. We wore an eye patch and some bandages painted in crimson over his face. He then raised his arm revealing a long needle with a red bubbling fluid inside. "Now, be a good boy and let doctor give you your medicine..." He jeered at me, and laughed tainlizing me.

I approached the table that I was restrained on. I struggled violently, starting to feel the restraint on my left hand become somewhat more free. The man leaned over me and I yelled at him violently, and frustrated. The tall man put the needle up to his face and flicked the tip with his fingers and a little of the liquid came out and landed onto the floor. I heard the sizzling burning sound that it was making and I yelled in terror. The man then pointed the need straight at me neck and I struggled to get my left hand free before the needle pierced my skin. The needle grew closer and it touched the skin of my neck and I made one final tug with my hand and it broke free.

I quickly grabbed the hand holding the needle and slammed it into the table, bending the piercing device. I then took out a razor blade from my pocket and showed the doctors it.

"Why do you always have to make this so difficult for us, Mr. Hills." The man said and he pulled out a small pistol and loaded a dart into it. I threw the razor at him and the blade slightly grazed his neck, causing him to bleed some, but not flinch. I then heard the near silent wooshing of the dart flying out of the gun, and imediately following it, the sharp pain of it piercing my neck.
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boombaby is not online. boombaby
Joined: 19 May 2008
Total Posts: 401
07 Feb 2012 03:32 PM
Yeah, I made some spelling errors. I just had some coca-cola so I mispell some stuff when I drink it. ;~; Sorry bout that.

But anyway, yeah. He is in an insane asylm. DIDN'T SEE THAT COMING DID YOU!? That is one "Insane" twist, hmm? Get it, he is insane and I said... insane twist... shut up ;~;
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boombaby is not online. boombaby
Joined: 19 May 2008
Total Posts: 401
07 Feb 2012 04:33 PM
WARNING! Attempt to steal this and I will report you to ROBLOX, and your conent will be deleted. I have verified that with one of the admins.
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boombaby is not online. boombaby
Joined: 19 May 2008
Total Posts: 401
07 Feb 2012 04:52 PM
YAY! 100 thread views ^`~`^ I'm happy right now!
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purepower212 is not online. purepower212
Joined: 27 Jan 2009
Total Posts: 2694
07 Feb 2012 05:15 PM
i've felt pain before but ur story takes it a new level
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boombaby is not online. boombaby
Joined: 19 May 2008
Total Posts: 401
07 Feb 2012 05:18 PM
Hence the sub genre this story is given "Psychological Thriller"

It is supposed to get inside of you, and make you feel extremely deeply for everything that happens, everyone that is in it, and every place that is in it. It is supposed to draw you in, make you never want to stop until the end.
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boombaby is not online. boombaby
Joined: 19 May 2008
Total Posts: 401
07 Feb 2012 06:36 PM
Don't forget to comment and tell me what you think, give ideas for futures chapters, or for a chance to get your name featured in the book, guess what will happen in the next chapter.
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