LoganB
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| Joined: 18 Apr 2008 |
| Total Posts: 2782 |
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| 06 Feb 2012 05:52 PM |
Don't go into the fog.
The small town of McComb, Mississsippi. That... Textbook town. That town that has a 'Town store', 'Town doctor', 'Town dentist', And even one of those elementary schools with a president's name slapped on it. The town was a wonderful, movie quality town. Until the fog came.
The town lumber company was loading up to go into the woods. They saw a slight fog. Like every early morning. But when the first truck went into the blurry cloud, It seemingly... vanished. The other 4 trucks slammed on the brakes.
One brave soul went into the fog. As he vanished the fog grew darker. It was now gray. A few men yelled and told one more man to go in. He crept reluctantly into the mist. A scream and he was gone. There was a slight gurgling sound. "GET THE GUN!" A shot of a .22 rifle went off. A inhuman screech and a long tentacle-like arm shoots out of the mist. It slaps one of the trucks over, grabs a few men, And in under a minute, the whole lumber team is gone.
(OOC)
That's the plot. I'm just kind of asking you guys what you think of this? Does it have any potential?
I'm thinking about setting it in the 70's.. Thoughts??? |
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LoganB
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| Joined: 18 Apr 2008 |
| Total Posts: 2782 |
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LoganB
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| Joined: 18 Apr 2008 |
| Total Posts: 2782 |
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| 06 Feb 2012 07:15 PM |
| Hello? Please someone tell me if it has potential or not? |
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ifavila
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| Joined: 11 Mar 2010 |
| Total Posts: 3334 |
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| 06 Feb 2012 07:16 PM |
| This reminds me of 'The Mist'. |
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LoganB
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| Joined: 18 Apr 2008 |
| Total Posts: 2782 |
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ifavila
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| Joined: 11 Mar 2010 |
| Total Posts: 3334 |
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| 06 Feb 2012 07:18 PM |
Old movie.
Basically about monsters in this mist thing of some sort.
I thing it was the fog. No, it was the mist. |
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LoganB
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| Joined: 18 Apr 2008 |
| Total Posts: 2782 |
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ifavila
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| Joined: 11 Mar 2010 |
| Total Posts: 3334 |
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| 06 Feb 2012 07:20 PM |
| It's pretty good, could use a little bit of work though. |
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LoganB
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| Joined: 18 Apr 2008 |
| Total Posts: 2782 |
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| 06 Feb 2012 07:21 PM |
Where and what?
THIS IS EXACTLY WHAT I'M LOOKING FOR PEOPLE.
FEEDBACK. |
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LoganB
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| Joined: 18 Apr 2008 |
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| 06 Feb 2012 08:40 PM |
needs more cats.
No one wins a butter eating contest. |
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ifavila
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| Joined: 11 Mar 2010 |
| Total Posts: 3334 |
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| 06 Feb 2012 08:41 PM |
| Yes, the secret ingredient... |
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LoganB
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| Joined: 18 Apr 2008 |
| Total Posts: 2782 |
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