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Re: Created Rap - 1

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iTacoEater is not online. iTacoEater
Joined: 13 Mar 2011
Total Posts: 133
05 Jan 2012 06:33 AM
Hope you enjoy. Here it goes.

Some things in this world are best not to be mentioned.
Most of the time they're just said for some mother [Censored] attention.
Days and days you all ways make me feel like a piece of [Censored].
You decided just walked off and leave me for the ditch.

What if I was a [Censored] like you?
Going around like what, where, who?
Making peoples lives a nightmare,
and now they're scared to even walk out there!

Four words I have to say.
Mate, your bloody [Censored].
What's the point in looking like that.
It makes you look like a right [Censored].

Oh, so your offended by me, now?
I think that's a all time record, pow!
Your just a kid who lives under his lies.
Sitting on the sofa eating full fat pies.

And what blood? Still angry at me?
Oh, you just wait and see.
Throw a punch at me, I dare you.
But I will batter you with my Ju-Jitsu.

That was a fun rap to make :)
Add any suggestions to help out :D
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iTacoEater is not online. iTacoEater
Joined: 13 Mar 2011
Total Posts: 133
05 Jan 2012 06:33 AM
:D
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iTacoEater is not online. iTacoEater
Joined: 13 Mar 2011
Total Posts: 133
05 Jan 2012 06:36 AM
Hope you liked it :P
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luckyflynn is not online. luckyflynn
Joined: 20 Jan 2009
Total Posts: 2075
05 Jan 2012 08:03 AM
I like it. :)
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iTacoEater is not online. iTacoEater
Joined: 13 Mar 2011
Total Posts: 133
05 Jan 2012 02:09 PM
:o Thanks! :D
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ferrykeizer is not online. ferrykeizer
Joined: 14 Oct 2008
Total Posts: 31056
05 Jan 2012 03:43 PM
Lotsa censored
Umad? :o
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iTacoEater is not online. iTacoEater
Joined: 13 Mar 2011
Total Posts: 133
05 Jan 2012 04:31 PM
xD

Just fits in with it :3
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ferrykeizer is not online. ferrykeizer
Joined: 14 Oct 2008
Total Posts: 31056
05 Jan 2012 04:33 PM
Oh,here have a seat.
Wanna talk about it? :o *sips tea*
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spyro12399 is not online. spyro12399
Joined: 25 Oct 2009
Total Posts: 5147
05 Jan 2012 05:05 PM
Now you need a beat. Here, WUBWUBWUBWUBWUBWUBWUBWUBWUBWUBWUBWUBWUBWUBWUBWUBWUBWUUBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBB
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RSDragonSeal is not online. RSDragonSeal
Joined: 21 Apr 2009
Total Posts: 117
05 Jan 2012 08:14 PM
@Taco. It really isn't that bad. Enjoyed the rhymes, the use of censory, and especially your lyrics. It could use 2 things however. 1- Longer raps- Instead of just 2 sentences that rhyme with the ending word, try something like maybe 4? Or 5 depending on the beat. 2- A beat. I'd be glad to hear this as a song, if it were longer. I could even supply you some lyrics. :D
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MistahWookie is not online. MistahWookie
Joined: 21 Jul 2011
Total Posts: 5102
05 Jan 2012 08:26 PM
Dude, I wanted to tell you that Jesus loves you. And NO MATTER what you'll do, He still loves you. Have a nice day.
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iTacoEater is not online. iTacoEater
Joined: 13 Mar 2011
Total Posts: 133
06 Jan 2012 08:58 AM
@RSdragon, thanks for the tips. I will do that with further raps I may create.
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iTacoEater is not online. iTacoEater
Joined: 13 Mar 2011
Total Posts: 133
06 Jan 2012 12:15 PM
I'm happy people liked it :)
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darkside77 is not online. darkside77
Joined: 07 May 2010
Total Posts: 3075
06 Jan 2012 03:31 PM
Its good........ for rap.
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RSDragonSeal is not online. RSDragonSeal
Joined: 21 Apr 2009
Total Posts: 117
06 Jan 2012 03:46 PM
Np man. You killed it.
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musicgod14 is not online. musicgod14
Joined: 18 Sep 2010
Total Posts: 5058
06 Jan 2012 04:58 PM

From a guy who listens to rap 24/7,
its good.
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iTacoEater is not online. iTacoEater
Joined: 13 Mar 2011
Total Posts: 133
07 Jan 2012 09:03 AM
:)
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djcooldog is not online. djcooldog
Joined: 10 Mar 2011
Total Posts: 25
07 Jan 2012 10:28 AM
I LOVED THIS! Now all you have to do is get a beat and put it up on youtube :D
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iTacoEater is not online. iTacoEater
Joined: 13 Mar 2011
Total Posts: 133
07 Jan 2012 03:36 PM
I might do one day :o
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iTacoEater is not online. iTacoEater
Joined: 13 Mar 2011
Total Posts: 133
12 Jan 2012 10:07 AM
At least no one was horrible to say it sucked. I rather have feedback.
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musicgod14 is not online. musicgod14
Joined: 18 Sep 2010
Total Posts: 5058
12 Jan 2012 02:06 PM
I got one. Here it goes.
*cough cough*
You really don`t know much bout' me but
sl-ts dig me, their just some mutts.
This is The Wolf!
Got of hoof to beat it?
Take a seat and have a f--king drink!
Friggin dink!
(Chorus havn`t figured out :P)
Yo lets start.
Cause' I`ma be honest with my heart!
I was born on May 25th!
N@med Andrew Thomos (I`m not gonna tell my last name.)
Think you got gamed?
Well you are!
My Dad is a insane sports guy!
I haven't seen courts before but in elementary school.
Beating kids cause' they f--ked with me!
I was to blame.
They didn't feel the same cause'
my principle was a hick!
A real big d-ck!
(Chorus, again.)
After hittin' puberty early
I saw this girly b--ches named girls!
So many hurls just from them!
I hate them, they hate me, I`ll cook em' like a tater!
slit their f---ing throats!
Looked up to Em (Eminem)
Everybody thought I was crazy!
I`ll kick these rhymes!
Yours are worth dimes (I mean the haters)
Yo, f--k them. If I got luck,
I`ll get money for studio time.
Still have trouble with money since my childhood.
I`m in my hood!
See ya!
(Coda)
Da da, da da,
da, da,


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RSDragonSeal is not online. RSDragonSeal
Joined: 21 Apr 2009
Total Posts: 117
12 Jan 2012 07:32 PM
U look up to Em, yet you rap like crap. Jeez dude, it's suppose to RHYME!
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spicycelerytherepeat is not online. spicycelerytherepeat
Joined: 07 Jun 2010
Total Posts: 11431
12 Jan 2012 07:34 PM
OP as described by his own lyrics
"Your just a kid who lives under his lies.
Sitting on the sofa eating full fat pies."
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RSDragonSeal is not online. RSDragonSeal
Joined: 21 Apr 2009
Total Posts: 117
12 Jan 2012 07:57 PM
1. Who is OP? 2. People act like that phrase is a burn, I see it everywhere. It's pretty terrible tbh.
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Killswitch98 is not online. Killswitch98
Joined: 26 Sep 2010
Total Posts: 923
12 Jan 2012 07:59 PM
OP= Original Poster (Thread creator i think)
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