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| 11 Dec 2011 04:14 PM |
Chapter 1: The Non Understandable Detail.
Part 1
A family was in their house playing happily. They lived happily for quite a long time too. A mom, a dad, And their 2 kids. It was a miracle. Until one day, They had mail in their mailbox that gave them a fright. The letter said, "Hello, Meet me at the back alley on Saginaw Street in 8:00 P.M. Or else your kids will be harmed." The mom & dad both decided to tell their kids what were going on. One was a girl, One was a boy. The girl was named Rachel, And the boy was named Brandon. Brandon was the kind of kid who was brave enough to do anything. Rachel was however, A bit hardheaded. She would do things she know is wrong but always apoligizes after she was caught to center. So, The mom & Dad told them what came in the letter. Rachel was scared and didn't thin of a way to make a excuse why to not show up at Saginaw Street. Brandon wasn't so perfect either. He didn't know what to do to protect himself. They all were scared.
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| 11 Dec 2011 04:30 PM |
| I will make the 2 part of it soon. So keep a heads up on this forum guys. |
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nick7799
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| Joined: 25 Mar 2009 |
| Total Posts: 2666 |
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| 11 Dec 2011 04:31 PM |
k. good luck. great story so far.
~ItZ NiCkZ~ |
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| 11 Dec 2011 05:02 PM |
Chapter 1: The Non Understandable Details
Part 2
Like before, They were all scared. But they didn't have time to think about what to do because it was already 8:00 P.M. The mom & dad left there kids at home so if they wanted to harm them they had to figure out where they lived. To them it was smart, but they forgot that the kids were never left at home by themselves before. But since it was a situation like this, they thought the kids would just watch television or play games and stuff like that. Nothin too extreme. As soon as they arrived at the back alley, They saw 2 people holding bags. "I think they are about to rob us." The mom whispered to the dad. " Me too, Most likely they are." The dad whispered back. "ENOUGH! Like I can't here you two whispering." One of the men said. The mom and dad were both curious. They didn't know what was gonna happen next. Do you? |
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| 11 Dec 2011 05:28 PM |
Chapter 1: The Non Understandable Detail.
Part 3
"Take us to your house, Now!" One of them said. The mom and dad did as they were told. During the drive to their house, The mom & dad heard jibber jabber. They heard S sounds and figured it was the two men whispering. They wished they knew what they were saying so it would help them more. But it was nothing they could do. Soon they reached their house, but they were still scared. What were they gonna do? Are they gonna harm their children? Read te next part of te story to find out, Coming soon.
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| 11 Dec 2011 05:37 PM |
| To me the story is great so far, Good detail. I'm gonna have to make part 4 soon, But it probally won't be today, Because I'm getting tired. So stick around, For part 4! |
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kinglute
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| Joined: 18 Sep 2010 |
| Total Posts: 4320 |
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twist69
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| Joined: 06 Sep 2010 |
| Total Posts: 5958 |
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1riley50
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| Joined: 27 Oct 2009 |
| Total Posts: 585 |
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| 11 Dec 2011 06:14 PM |
It's okay. A little less than okay, it's sorta unoriginal too.
tl;dr means "Too long, didn't read" |
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| 11 Dec 2011 06:27 PM |
Chapter 2: The Sad Surprise.
Part 1
When they reached the house the mom & dad were nervous. They hoped the two men wouldn't harm Rachel & Brandon. But judging the fact that they were holding a bag. They obviously were gonna take things from their house. So when they reached the house door the dad tried to ack like he didn't have his keys in hi pockets. The men actually bought until the dad tripped on his shoestring and we heard a big ching. The two men were mad, They demanded him to open the door. The dad did as he was told. They walked in the house, And the 1st thing they saw was tere two kids having light armor on that there grandad gave to them when he fought in World War 2. Rachel & Brandon were surprise that te two men didn't have a gun. They thought it was no need for the armor now. So they took it off, But they were still curious on what the two men was about to do. The two man turned around with their bag and demanded money, And their house or the kids are harmed. The dad refused, and got a knife from their room. "Get out of my house or your gonna be cut!" He yelled.
But the men did no such thing. They reached in their back pockets and got a gun. The dad, The mom, Rachel, And Brandon said at the same time,"YOU HAD A GUN THIS WHOLE TIME!" The two men giggled. The mom & dad pleaded about not to shoot their kids and please leave us be. But the man did no such thing. They shot their gun in the air and took their kids by hand. They took the keys that the mom & dad layed on the counter, They put the key in the car and drove off. The mom & dad were outsmarted. They lost thei car, And their kids.
Will they get their kids back, And their car? Will they figure out why the two men were doing all this in the first place? Read part 2 and you'll figure out why. |
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| 12 Dec 2011 05:01 PM |
Chapter 2: The Sad Surprise.
Part 2
So the mom & dad were tired, sad, and worried. They ran to their mothers house and asked for her spare car. Their mother said yes softly and quietly. The car was a honda with stripes on te sides. On the back of the car it had boosters. They thought it must of cost their mom a fortune. They would do anything to get a car like that. Well, back to the subject. In a rush, the put the key in the ignotion, they slammed on the brakes by an accident, then they slammed on the accelerator, and drove off. The two men didn't leave from their house too long ago. So they must be around the cornor somewhere. The mom and dad were worried sick about their children. But now it was a hunt.
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| 12 Dec 2011 05:22 PM |
Chapter 2: The Sad Surprise
Part 3
"Stop crying you stupid retards." One o the two men said. "Or you'll never see your parents again." The other one added. *Sob* *Sob* "Ok, anything, just don't hurt us." Rachel said. "I'm not scared of you guys." Brandon said with a lot of courage. "All you do is threaten and you neer did anything." He added to show them that he was brave." Besides, everybody know your gun is fake. I mean I didn't know it was fake at first, but now I just noticed, there is no trigger. Plus. while your staring at me, you better keep your eyes on the road!
" The two men hurried and look back on the road. A tree was about to hit them! One of the two men fainted, and te other tried to get out te car but then realized that he didn't unlock it. Too bad he didn't do it in time! The tree carved into the car destroying both of the two men. The tree stopped moving because the two front seats blocked it from going ny longer. That means the children did not get hit. The children happily went out the car to look for their parents. (Ten minutes later.) The mom & dad was still searching the streets until they saw their car.
They jumped out of their moms and headed towards their. Where they saw two destroyed men and a tree carved in the car. They didn't care to much about their car, but they were sad for the two men. They didn't want tem dead. But it was only one thing that they wer actually concerned about. Where did their children go? |
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| 13 Dec 2011 12:36 PM |
| Is anyone actally keeping track of this story? I write a part everyday. Sometimes a chapter. |
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| 15 Dec 2011 05:01 PM |
why did they move this trash here
~Axel |
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| 15 Dec 2011 05:05 PM |
It's actually pretty good. And no, its not trash. He's put a lot of effort into this. |
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