| |
|
»
|
|
| |
Re: Exmortis III
|
|
|
|
| 24 Nov 2011 12:11 AM |
~Chapter 1~
John Hannay was once again floating in the abyss of red cloud. He searched and searched for hours, but he couldn't find it. Finally, he caught a glimpse of the stone circle. Beacons floated beside it. The portal had re-opened. He swam towards and through it. Suddenly, he felt as if he were on fire. Swirling and falling, he hit the ground with a large thud. He got up, barely scratched from his million foot fall. What was going on? He felt...different. As if being human wasn't enough. He reached out his hand to examine it, and then he suddenly wanted to get out. At that moment, a large tow trick had zoomed into the crater and let down a rope so that John could get out. There was no doubting it - John had gained powers. He grabed onto the rope and climbed up it without so much as marking his hand with ropemarks. He climbed out then stared at the deserted city before him. There was no doubt The Exmortis had risen again, but this time, Lord Vlaew was the hand. He began his journey through the torn down city to hunt Vlaew down and kill him. His inside burned with anger and revenge. He was well prepared. The question was, for what? He reached a broken down circle of buildings, all of which were deserted. Broken cars and ripped shrapnel lay all over to the point where it was next to impossible to see the ground, which John was sure showed every sign that a disaster had taken place there. Although, he did wonder how a few hour's time meant destruction everywhere. Or was it just here? If John had to infiltrate through each and every one of these mutilated buildings to get to Vlaew then that's exactly what he would do. He first chose his way inside an abandoned (No surprise there) hotel. The chairs and tables were flipped over and cracked, blood shined on the wall and behind the counter. Somebody had obviously tried to fight back. John didn't want to find out what they were trying to fight. John continued upstairs. The door was locked, so he headed up this one. Blood ran through a pile of debris, as if somebody had been dragged through that pathway moments before it collapsed. He tried the door. It was unlocked. More blood was splattered and more debris was on the ground in the hallway of multiple apartment doors. Then, he saw it on the corner of his eye. In the strange light at the end of the corridor a sillouette appeared. |
|
|
| Report Abuse |
|
|
Zilex1000
|
  |
| Joined: 14 Jul 2011 |
| Total Posts: 5647 |
|
| |
|
|
| 24 Nov 2011 01:40 PM |
~Chapter 2~
John recoiled in fear, but soon after the shadow disappeared. Lately, he had been suspecting his eyes of seeing things that weren't really there. He tried all the doors, but only one was unlocked. The room had a table in the middle of it and a bunch of scattered papers. John saw a post-it-note with some letters and numbers combined, such as "B6". John pocketed, searched for something else important, then spotted the window. There was a dock behind it, leading to a boat. John had a feeling that's where he had to go, but he couldn't leave yet. He had to search for something to help him down. He retreated downstairs to search for a rope, but unluckily he couldn't find any. He went outside and searched another building. It was a total mess. The only thing John could find that wasn't ripped,scorched, or broken was an old safe. John couldn't crack it if he tried. |
|
|
| Report Abuse |
|
|
| |
|
|
| 24 Nov 2011 02:35 PM |
| It would have been longer but I clicked post halfway through writing DX |
|
|
| Report Abuse |
|
|
|
| 24 Nov 2011 02:39 PM |
| Be sure to message me whenever you write the next chapter. I love this story. :D |
|
|
| Report Abuse |
|
|
|
| 24 Nov 2011 02:55 PM |
~Chapter 2~
John recoiled in fear, but soon after the shadow disappeared. Lately, he had been suspecting his eyes of seeing things that weren't really there. He tried all the doors, but only one was unlocked. The room had a table in the middle of it and a bunch of scattered papers. John saw a post-it-note with some letters and numbers combined, such as "B6". John pocketed, searched for something else important, then spotted the window. There was a dock behind it, leading to a boat. John had a feeling that's where he had to go, but he couldn't leave yet. He had to search for something to help him down. He retreated downstairs to search for a rope, but unluckily he couldn't find any. He went outside and searched another building. It was a total mess. The only thing John could find that wasn't ripped,scorched, or broken was an old safe. John couldn't crack it if he tried. John retreated outside after ten minutes of trying to crack it open. There were three deserted buildings left. He ran through one, but he couldn't fine one single thing. After a while, he came to the second to last one. It appeared to be a buisness of some sort. He found a fireplace poker, but that was it. In the last building, he found a couple of dead bodies, one's skull was popping out of it's head. John wretched back and at last, found a rope. He was eager to get out of there, as it smelled of rotten fish. He ran back to the apartment. The window was still there, gleaming brighter than ever. He put up his hand, his sweaty palm facing the window, and concentrated. He heard a loud smash, and to his amazement, there was no longer very much glass there. He set the poker down and tied the rope to it. He climbed down, again, without so much as a burn. When he touched the ground, he realized immediately that something was wrong. The board unerneath his feet collapsed. A loud sound echoed through the dead city. He got up and felt an enourmous pain on his shoulder, again followed by a loud sound. Somebody had a gun. John climbed back up the rope, and to his great relief, all of the further shots had missed. He climbed back into the apartment, swearing his head off and clutching his shoulder. He went back downstairs after healing himself with his powers and suddenly remembered something. There had been a circut with numbers and letters just like the ones on the post-it-note. He pulled the wires out and examined the board. It was time to open something. The question was, what? |
|
|
| Report Abuse |
|
|
yoyo343
|
  |
| Joined: 30 Jul 2008 |
| Total Posts: 2754 |
|
| |
|
|
| 25 Nov 2011 12:03 AM |
| No. Read the book or get out. |
|
|
| Report Abuse |
|
|
|
| 29 Nov 2011 11:56 AM |
~Chapter 3~
John spent the next hour fumbling with the wires, trying to open something. At last, he stuck the other end of the wire in H3 and heard a slight rumbling sound. John let out a small cry of victory, then went to investigate. He immediately saw a door in the back had opened, and decided it was time for a look inside the room. It, ike the rest of the building, was collapsed everywhere. Debris was crashed on what looked like an old workbench and a thick layer of dust was to be found everywhere. He saw a few things of interest, including a small bottle of liquid, which John couldn't identify by looking inside, so he took a small sip. He gagged and choked and was finally able to spit it out. Blood fell out of his mouth, but it wasn't his. John gagged. He had just drank blood. John coughed a few more times, then spotted a smaller trail of blood, leading to a torso who's head was still attatched. His legs weren't though Bullets lay next to a black gun. Somebody had obviously tried to fight back. And then he remembered the sniper. He picked up the gun, hoping for revenge, but soon found that the bulets on the floor were it's last amunition. He dropped the gun in frusteration, but then saw something shine silver. It was a key to apartment 5B. How many keys John had used in the past, John didn't know. But what was one more? John headed downstairs to make progress. |
|
|
| Report Abuse |
|
|
|
| 29 Nov 2011 12:04 PM |
Fook I did it again
~Chapter 3~
John spent the next hour fumbling with the wires, trying to open something. At last, he stuck the other end of the wire in H3 and heard a slight rumbling sound. John let out a small cry of victory, then went to investigate. He immediately saw a door in the back had opened, and decided it was time for a look inside the room. It, ike the rest of the building, was collapsed everywhere. Debris was crashed on what looked like an old workbench and a thick layer of dust was to be found everywhere. He saw a few things of interest, including a small bottle of liquid, which John couldn't identify by looking inside, so he took a small sip. He gagged and choked and was finally able to spit it out. Blood fell out of his mouth, but it wasn't his. John gagged. He had just drank blood. John coughed a few more times, then spotted a smaller trail of blood, leading to a torso who's head was still attatched. His legs weren't though Bullets lay next to a black gun. Somebody had obviously tried to fight back. And then he remembered the sniper. He picked up the gun, hoping for revenge, but soon found that the bulets on the floor were it's last amunition. He dropped the gun in frusteration, but then saw something shine silver. It was a key to apartment 5B. How many keys John had used in the past, John didn't know. But what was one more? John headed downstairs. He soon found the door 5B and unlocked it. There was literally nothing in this room of value, as it had all been crushed by debris. Dead grass lay on some parts of the floor, and the wall had a massive hole to show a part of outside John had not yet seen. More dead grass littered it. There were more dead men with guns John couldn't use, unfortunately, and a small subway leading downstairs. John walked down there and saw more debris, fallen pilliars, and a train that was on the verge of blowing up. John had never stopped to think about how unnerving it was, the world being empty. But just as John had thought this, a figure stood close to him. It was Xavier Rehayem, but he was not holding the small smile he had given him previously. Instead, he glared at John with complete discust, holding a bloody axe that may as well have been floating in mid-air. Something was definitely not right. |
|
|
| Report Abuse |
|
|
|
| 29 Nov 2011 12:27 PM |
~Chapter 4~
Xavier spoke with the ghastly echo that was his voice. "He wants you dead. You should not have come down here." He said. John's lip quivered a bit. "Why? What's down here?" But he needn't have asked, because he heard a slight beeping noise. "Oh no. No no no no no!" John yelped, and tried to run up the stairs. The gate had closed. Xavier spoke again. "He knows you are after him. He kows you want revenge, and he knows he's no match." He echoed. John, panicking, said, "I'm glad he knows." He said with a slight crack in his voice. Xavier replied with, "You must overcome Vlaew, and kill him. There is no doubt that The Exmortis is on the move." John had completely forgotten about The Exmortis. "If he knows i'm coming, why doesn't he send The Exmortis after me?" John asked. "Because he is not in full command of them." Xavier's expression loosened. "Yet." He added. John cracked. "Let me out of here and i'll kill that b-!" He began, but Xavier cut him off. "Calm down, Mr. Hannay. I can open the door for you. But there is only one way to kill the sniper that is blocking you from getting any closer to Vlaew." He said with a sigh. "No! It's suicide!" John yelled back, apperantly taken aback by this ludicrous idea. "It's the only way. Do you want to kill Vlaew or not?" Xavier replied. Minutes later, he was running for his life, carrying a bomb in his hand, remembering Xavier's goodbye like it was his own child's. |
|
|
| Report Abuse |
|
|
|
| 29 Nov 2011 01:04 PM |
~Chapter 5~
Five seconds left. He jumped out the apartment window, avoiding the gunshots. Two seconds. He took a wild shot and threw the bomb. It exploded with such a force that the building started to fall over, the sniper on it, ready to block John's path. He ran, realizing his mistake, and barely made it through the crumbling debris. There was no problem - his exit was gone. He shouted his thanks to Xavier and headed on to his revenge. There was another town, but only one building stood. The rest had toppled. Vlaew was here. He knew it. John couldn't remember ever having a stronger thirst for revenge. He entered the building, but all it was was more debris. He headed upstairs. Still, nothing interesting. John couldn't find anything interesting until hi got to the last floor. He entered the last room on the right and there, on all the drbris, sat his daughter's favorite teddy bear. Bloody and riped, it sat looking happy. That is, until it spotted John. It's smile faltered, and John backed into the doorway. The bear Smiled wide and devilishly to reveal bloody and razor sharp teeth. It spoke in Vlaew's voice. "I am your leader. I am your master." It said. John stared at it in horror. "I AM YOUR GOD." and with that, something grabbed John from behind. "NOOOOOOOO!" He screamed. He zipped around and coiled in fear. Six feet tall and bloody, there was an Exmortis member, ready to kill. John, once again panicking, put up his hand and concentrated. Soon after, the Exmortis member flew right into the wall. It was no more. John panted and staggered. Now what? The wall exploded suddenly. What was going on?! And then he saw it. There was a castle in the short distance. One thought came to John's mind, and one thought only. Vlaew. Vlaew was in the castle. John jumped out of the building, surprised at how he could now fall tremendous heights and live. He began to walk towards the castle. |
|
|
| Report Abuse |
|
|
|
| 30 Nov 2011 07:21 PM |
~Chapter 6~
He walked and walked. The castle didn't seem to loom nearer. For what seemed to be weeks, he walked ever closer to the castle. Finally, he stopped for a rest. He squatted in the grass and pulled out a small peice of paper that had somehow made it through the portal with him. It was scribbled in blue crayon. There stood a drawing of him and his daughter, the words "i love you dady" scribbled across the bottom in the same bright-blue crayon. Tears welled in John's eyes as he examined the picture as if it had a sort of puzzle to it. Finally, he set the picture down and looked forward. The castle wasn't getting any closer. John sighed, scooped up the paper, and got on his feet. What John didn't notice is the shadow that was moving towards John, not bothering to be slow nor subtle. Seconds later, John got a punch to the cheek so hard, he smacked the hard gravel. Things became a blur. He looked up just in time to see Xavier, although he wasn't transperant or pale. He looked angry, angrier than John had ever seen him. But he didn't get a quick glance, because seconds later he got a mouthful of dirty boot and he was out cold.
. . .
John opened his eyes. Everything was a huge blur of grey. He tried to move his arms, but they were chained. So were his legs. It took John another few seconds to realize he was tied to a wooden and splintered chair. He was in a building, the back exposed because it's side had been blown off. John was unsurprised to see more dead grass outside. Seconds later, he heard a slam and out of nowhere, the back of his head felt like it had been splintered. He raised his head to see Xavier. He spoke in a voice that was most unlike his own. It was more of a growl. "How dare you seek to destroy Lord Vlaew. Why do you seek that, in which he has given you a gift. How have you come back?" It said. John sat there, suddenly expressing a smile. Finally, he said, "Magic." And then he surpressed two fake snorts. Xavier looked as if he would explode. He punched John so hard that multiple things happened at once. John coughed and sputtered blood, the splintered chair tilted, and broke as it hit the ground, and John escaped his chains with a small wood splinter. At last, John was free. He jumped at Xavier and tackled him. Xavier's eyes grew bright red, and then lifeless. His body fell. It was as if the force of John had killed him. He was dead, but it wasn't John that did it. "I am sorry, Mr. Hannay, but you are no longer welcome in this world." Said an unmistakable voice. Vlaew was here in person. |
|
|
| Report Abuse |
|
|
|
| 01 Dec 2011 08:44 PM |
| Can't wait for chapter 7!!! :D :D :D |
|
|
| Report Abuse |
|
|
|
| 01 Dec 2011 09:25 PM |
Thanks!!!!
~Chapter 7~
John wheeled around. There, in his mysterious cloak and deformed face, stood Vlaew. He laughed. "You are going to wish you hadn't come back, Mr. Hannay." Said Vlaew. "Oh, really?" John said. He sounded a lot more braver than he felt. Vlaew laughed again, though more darkly. Then, suddenly, Vlaew raised his fist as if he were going to throw something. And he did. John was hit with an incredible force and he flew right out the window, shattering glass everywhere. He fell in what felt like slow motion. Blood pumped through his veins and when he finally hit the ground, pain shot through his body. He fell almost six feet. He could hear Vlaew laughing crazily. He wasn't giving up without a fight. John got up, ran in the building, and climbed up the stairs. When he finally reached the room, Vlaew's expression turned to horror struck. "No! Not possible!" He snarled. John got ready to dodge Vlaew's attack, but it didn't come. Vlaew was starting to look worried. John coiled his legs in a ready position, then out of nowhere, sprang up. If you blinked you wouldn't have seen it. John was on Vlaew like a flash. One kick to the face and Vlaew was stuck in the wall, which was tipped. John charged. Soon, he was clenching his fist, Vlaew's blood splattered on it. Blood was pouring like a waterfall from Vlaew's mouth, but to John's utter amazement and horror, he was smiling a non-friendly smile. This angered John, though he didn't know why. He clenched his fist on Vlaew's dirty coat, pulled him out of the wall, and one-handedly thre him across the room. To John's utter disbelief, he hit the desk, which went flying. It hit the wall, which the building couldn't handle. It was fragile enough without things flying into the wall. Vlaew had heard it too- there was a large crack. John, horrified, tried to run, but tripped over Vlaew, who saluted John in an evil sort of way and then vanished. There was no way John could survive this. He started to slide as the building began to tip. All he could do was hug himself and wait for it all to end. |
|
|
| Report Abuse |
|
|
bye135
|
  |
| Joined: 09 Apr 2011 |
| Total Posts: 214 |
|
|
| 02 Dec 2011 05:27 PM |
| This is a lot like my story Earth 2087 check it out if you want at http://www.roblox.com/Forum/ShowPost.aspx?PostID=58938301 |
|
|
| Report Abuse |
|
|
|
| 03 Dec 2011 05:57 PM |
~Chapter 8~
It was inevitable. John's insides squirmed as he flew around the room, which was now doing a barrel roll. A sudden halt made John smack into a wooden table, breaking it. He let out a huge cry of pain and got up, clutching his side, slower than a turtle. He heard a large crack and looked up. The ceiling was crumbling. John ran as fast as he could, which wasn't very fast, to get out of the place. If he hadn't jumped out the hole, he would have been crushed like a pancake. A loud crash told him the ceiling had given in. He got up, still clutching his side, which was bleeding uncontrollably, coughing and sputtering. He wasn't outdoors yet. There was a small wooden door that stood in his way. He closed his sweaty hand around the handle. It turned but the door remained closed. It was almost as if someone was holding it closed. John gave a huge growl and stepped a few feet back. He charged, painfully but steadily, towards the door and used his shoulder to crack it open. The rusty hinge broke off the doorway and the door slid down. It was what seemed to be a cellar. A bloodied axe stood on the wall and a doorway had been boarded up several times. John gripped the axe, trying to ignore the stabbing pain in his side. He took a large swing, and all the boards in the doorway fell off. He was in what seemed to be a tunnel underneath the house that he had been captured in. He could hear wind. This place was oddly familiar...then he remembered. This had been where the Hand of Exmortis had been born, and where he had also been killed by none other than John himself. It all made sense now, why Vlaew wanted him here. John had returned to his horrible past in his mind. He had found his family dead on the lawn because of the Exmortis. Now he knew. Drake Linn wasn't his real name. John returned to this painful memory. Drake, or Michael, didn't want his filthy mother's name. Michael was what you'd have called a bad egg. He had just ran away when he become a hunter and found the house in the woods. John closed his eyes. The memories were paining him worse than his side. Michael had deserved it, though. He had been the reason John had no family left. But of course, John thought, killing your brother is never easy, no matter what he did. |
|
|
| Report Abuse |
|
|
|
| 03 Dec 2011 06:41 PM |
LAST CHAPTER!!!! ~Chapter 9~
He continued down the hall, ignoring the dead bodies and severed head that his brother had caused. He turned to the way out and opened it. He sat facing a large room with one pilliar on it. He glanced around the room, but nothing much was of value except for- a body lay right beside the door, exactly where he had been killed. He continued out, puzzled. Only when he got outside in the daylight did he realize that nothing was easy. He was stuck in the cold, isolated woods. Something else was funny as well - Michael's body was missing. Michael being his brother had been circling his mind as he seeked to escape the woods. His side still hurt, but not much. At last, he saw a small bit of gravel that might have been road. This was the way to civilization. He climbed, limped, and crawled himself hoarse and now he was being paid off. He walked towards the cement, but another force had hit him so hard. He hit the floor, coughing and wondering whether the pain in his side had turned into a pain in his whole body. He swayed on the spot, until eventually, a booming voice spoke. "I thought I sent your brother to kill you, Mr. Hannay!" John's mind went into overdrive. Puzzled at what Vlaew had just said, he lost his focus and his body went limp once more.
. . .
The sound of the rustling wind whistled through his ears. He tasted blood in his mouth. He wandered where, or even who he was. All he could recall are the dreams. The horrible dreams. or maybe they were memories? He pushed off the ground to see that he was in the cold, isolated woods. It was freezing. He had a huge headache and standing there wasn't going to help much. He fought through the freezing cold and began to walk. If he didn't find shelter in the woods soon, he was dead meat. He stepped over a log and hugged himself. The wind was helping it to be freezing. It must have been at most ten degrees. Minutes that felt like hours of walking later, he saw something in the distance- a house. It seemed in perfectly well condition. He walked towards it, still hugging himself. When he got there, he knocked. There was no answer. He grabbed the handle and cautiously turned it- it was unlocked. He felt a sudden resistance, but it was too late. He had stepped inside - anything was better than freezing to death in the woods. |
|
|
| Report Abuse |
|
|
|
| 03 Dec 2011 08:59 PM |
I like it...
It's not as good as the previous but still has interesting character development and a expanding storyline with new characters and locations it was a good entry in to the Exmortis series but at the same time i can't help but feel it's gone on enough, nothing really did suprise me in the storyline and i hear there's going to be a fourth one?
make sure you continue the storyline, remember don't drag it on for to long...
7/10 |
|
|
| Report Abuse |
|
|
|
| 03 Dec 2011 09:39 PM |
| I was and still am planning a fourth one, although it isn't too late to continue in here. |
|
|
| Report Abuse |
|
|
| |
|
|
| 04 Dec 2011 12:32 AM |
It's not over. if I get a bad review on this after I truly finish it, then I can't change. But I can try.
~Chapter 10~
Another sudden resistance. Suddenly, he wanted to get out. Now. He ran outside and stumbled as the door slammed behind him. He did not know what he was thinking. He tried to go back but it was too late. There was no entry into the house. It was as if the door had disappeared. For a second, John thought it had. But then he saw that it was shrinking. Lower and lower... He awoke with a start, gasping for breath, the pain in his side grown incredibly. He was lying in the same spot Vlaew had left him in. What did Vlaew possibly mean by "I thought I sent your brother to kill you"? Did he mean Himself? But that wasn't possible. Was it? He remembered his goal - get out of the woods. He got up slowly and clutched his side again with a cry of pain. He took his hand off. The bone was coming out. John swore hoarsely and gathered all his courage for what he was about to do. He put his hand on his bloody side, took a deep breath, and pushed. A large crack told me the bone was no longer sticking out. Unfortunately, John had not realized how much pain it was going to cost him. He let out a terrible cry, which echoed through the deserted streets. The minutes seemed like weeks. Finally, John stopped and fell to his knees. His side felt, if possible, even worse. He exhaled a heavy breath and stood up, ready to walk again. He walked onto the road and was unsurprised to see it empty. Cars sat everywhere, empty and rusted. it had been long since civilization. For the first time in his life, John actually felt sorry for someone other than himself. Someone who might be out there, in the same position as him. Looking for something. John's lust for revenge had taken him this far. He wasn't going to quit now. He headed forward down the road, not knowing what to expect. |
|
|
| Report Abuse |
|
|
| |
|
|
| 04 Dec 2011 01:37 AM |
*Engineer voice* Alrighty then
~Chapter 11~
He didn't know what lie ahead, but it had to be better than what he was leaving behind. He couldn't believe Vlaew had managed to find him once more. But then again, he must have been the leader of his capture. Vlaew must have been angry, and John was sure there was a slight panic in his voice when he had knocked John out. He added that to the list of questions racing through his mind. So far, he had down what Vlaew had meant by "his brother", how they had come to find him to capture him in the first place, why was that house of such importance to Vlaew, and why , of all people, was John asked to kill his brother? Surely there was someone else out there who could do it? But no, it had to be the brother. John thought Michael was dead, and it turned out to be quite a nasty shock when he heard Vlaew speak of his name. John kept walking down the deserted road, when he saw something. A shadow on the corner of his eye. He turned and saw a subway entrance. It headed downstairs. John had had enough of subways to last him a lifetime, but if he had to go down there to kill Vlaew, he would not hesitate to do so. He walked and walked and finally he reached the abandoned subway station. "YOU MUST KNOW, MR. HANNAY, THAT FOLLOWING ME WILL LEAD IN YOUR DEATH!" Echoed a voice. Vlaew had realized he was being followed. But instead of anger, John could hear panic in Vlaew's voice. There was no doubt about it- Vlaew was scared that his time would soon be over. He calmed down a bit, then spoke in the cold voice, but it was nevertheless more friendly. "I can end it for you now, Michael. You can just-"He started, but John cut him off. "Michael? What the hell?!" He said. A nasty sneer spread across Vlaew's face. "Surely, Mr. hannay, you are aware that you are Michael, and not John, who is still floating in hell?" Vlaew boomed. Michael sat, dazed. "Now, Mr. Hannay, I must say goodbye for I am afraid the portal has closed. I do not need any more dead pupils to join my army." He said. Michael's insides squirmed. If he died, he'd never come back. It was now or never. |
|
|
| Report Abuse |
|
|
|
| |
|
|
| |
|
»
|
|
|
|
|