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| 17 Nov 2011 01:27 PM |
-Prologue-
He opened his eyes. Drake Linn was lying facedown on the unmistakable floor of the isolated woods. He had no memory of where he was. All he could recall were the dreams. He pushed himself off the ground. He had a splitting headache and was right in the heart of the woods. The only way he thought he'd survive the night in the freezing woods is by finding shelter. He began to walk, though uneasily. He stopped for another look around, and that's when he saw the house in the clearing. He walked towards it. Slowly, the house became clearer and clearer until Drake found himself facing right in front of it. It looked aged and unoccupied. He reached out his hand and knocked four times. He didn't hear so much as a sound. He knocked again, louder this time. There was still no answer. He took a quick glance around, grabbed the handle, and turned. It was unlocked. He pushed open the wooden door , walked inside, and shut it behind him. Anything was better than freezing to death in the woods. |
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| 17 Nov 2011 01:34 PM |
| You're returning to Horror eh? I'm liking it dude. |
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| 17 Nov 2011 01:43 PM |
Thanks. I'm aiming for scarier and better than One Light.
-Chapter 1-
Drake stepped in. The door buckled and jammed, so he was not aloud exit. He was sheltered from the gale winds, but the house didn't look any better inside than outside. He thought he could hear a soft dull whisper in the background, but he put it off to the wind playing tricks. He faced two options. To his right there were stairs leading up to a second level. To his left there led a hallway shrouded in shadows. He chose to go up the stairs. He stood facing two more options, both with a door on left and right. To his center stood a window, moonlight pouring through. Drake chose left. He walked toward the door only to find it had no handle. He retreated and heard a loud thump. The roof thumped like mad. Maybe he wasn't alone after all. He turned right and saw a hatch. He pulled down the hatch and a ladder unfolded in front of the door. He continued to hear the loud thumps. Drake took a deep breath and started to climb. He crawled throuh the hole. It was an attic, where there weren't many things. Drake stood up and turned right, only to jump back in surprise and wretch at the sight. A bloody torso sat, hanging by threads, in the corner. There were no arms or legs, but instead, guts pouring out of the shirt. Drake had made a big mistake. |
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| 17 Nov 2011 01:56 PM |
-Chapter 2-
Who could do such a thing? It was then that Drake realized he had jumped into something sinister and ghastly. He wanted to exit, but the house may have held the answer to who he was and what he was doing in the woods. He noticed something smeared in blood on a broken plank near the torso. He got a closer look and saw that it was a symbol, no doubt smeared in the victim's blood. He didn't know what it meant, nor did he want to know. He put the plank down and saw something scratched into the wooden roof. He looked up at it and it read: "3489". He scratched the numbers into his brain. They might be important. Then Drake had remembered something. Who was thumping on the floor? He discovered that he never wanted to come up here again, so he climbed down the ladder, questions racing through his mind, and pushed it back up into the attic. He shut the hatch and looked at the door ahead. He walked towards it and turned the handle. He opened the door to find another horrible sight. The beadspread was soaked in somebody's blood, as was the ceiling above it. He gathered his bravery and stepped in. A rooflamp beside the bed was swinging, but there was no breeze. He found this utterly creepy. A gramophone stood on the dresser unpowered, yet is spun uncontrollably. Something was definitely wrong. There stood a door feet from the bed. Drake wanted to leave. Above the bed, planted on the wall, sat a painting of a familiar landscape. He walked towards it, trying to ignore the bloodstained bed. He pulled the painting off to look at it, only to find a safe behind the painting. He looked at it for a second, then remembered, "3489". He slipped the painting aside and punched the number in. Success! The door swung open, but Drake wished it didn't. There lay a book, another symbol smeared in blood, and a human heart, still as a rock. Drake wanted to leave. Now. |
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| 17 Nov 2011 02:02 PM |
-Chapter 3-
Drake hesitated, then pulled the book out. It was titled, "Exmortis". It described a time before man roamed the earth. When ancient beings of great ethereal power ruled it's kingdoms. It talks of their greed and lust for power - a nature which eventually lead to their downfall. It talks of the last surviving ancient - and entity named Vlaew, who's cunning saw him survive his fellow Ancients, until his physical form was taken from him by treacherous lesser demons. Now he only exists in spirit form. Over the millennia, he consolidated his power with entities banished by man to form a legion of demons in one spiritual presence. He called this consolidated terror the Exmortis, and he ruled them with promises of return to the world one day to rule and return the Earth Realm to the glory of his days before man. The book talks of how this will become. It talks of a single man who will be "anointed" with the blood of five, be transformed in to the hand of Exmortis - the physical link between the Earth Realm and the Spirit Realm which Vlaew now resided. The hand is destined to lead the Exmortis armies and lay siege to the World of Man, returning Vlaew to his rightful place of rule. One part here seemed crucial to remember. It read, "Devoured the crimson life of five, marks of Vlaew given to thee. Mirrored below the soul survive, what was, what is and what will be". It showed a picture of a demon-like creature. Under it was titled, "Lord Vlaew - Corpreal form". Drake shut the book, placed it back, and shut the safe tight. He wanted to leave. He walked over the bed and opened the door. The smell was horrible - it was a bathroom. The sink was dripping and the bathtub was full of blood. |
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| 17 Nov 2011 02:13 PM |
-Chapter 4-
The toilet seat was down, and Drake didn't want to lift it up. He saw something odd in the sink. He looked down into the drain. Something was shining. He reached his hand into the drain and just managed to pull a golden key out. Not bothering to wash his hands, he left the wretched sight and shut the door behind him. Somebody had mysteriously replaced the painting over the safe. Drake stopped to look at it for a second, then left with the key in his pocket. He heard more thumps, but chose to ignore them. He headed down the stairs and pulled the handle on the door. It wouldn't budge. Drake screamed with fury and turned around. His only option was the hallway. He walked through it and paused to regain his sanity. Is this real?, he thought. Suddenly, out of nowhere, a bloddied up figure screamed into the hall, holding a human head, disappearing as quickly as it came. Could this have been a hallucination? Or perhaps it is a warning of some sort? Drake moved on, shutting it out of his mind. He had hallucinated. He stood facing two more doors with a grandfather clock in the middle. There was something strange about the face of the clock. Indeed, it was square and had odd symbols all round it. It ticked away madly while Drake examined it. He had remembered one of those symbols, appearing to be an upside down V. What could this mean? He shook his head and turned to the door on the right. He pushed it open to find a kitchen with blood coming from under another doorway. There was a puddle of blood below the microwave, with more dripping down from it. Drake proceeded cautiously. He opened it to find a severed head, the same as the one the figure had been holding, turned sideways with another symbol carved into his forehead. Drake had not been surprised at the sight, but he did not like it. He shut the microwave and proceeded through the next door. It was a living room with bloodstains everywhere and a book sat on the wooden coffee table. It was time to read. |
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| 17 Nov 2011 02:22 PM |
-Chapter 5-
The diary tells a tale of a hunter who stumbled across the house, and after some time he found himself somehow drawn back to it. This man found the book from the safe upstairs and read the passages within. The diary continues to tell the tale of how the Exmortis entities held him a prisoner in the house for years, draining him of his sanity and humanity. Before long, this man was brainwashed in to believing that he would become "more than human" by partaking in a ritualistic sacrifice of five approaching campers, marking them each with a special symbol. So far he had found three of the symbols. Questions burned his mind, as though they were going to explode if he didn't find the answers. Could he be one of the five campers, only to return with no memory of what he was running from? In that case, he had to get out no matter the conditions outside. He set the book down and returned through the kitchen and back to the hallway. He turned to the other door and grabbed the handle. It was locked. He saw a keyhole and remembered. He got a key out of his pocket, stuck it in the door, and turned. It opened with a creak. It was a library. Another murder in this room had been committed. A severed arm lay on the floor with another symbol carved into it. He examined it and saw that a statue of a head stared down at him. There was something unnerving about it. Just as Drake had thought that, the bust blinked and then returned to it's normal form. Drake stumbled back in surprise. He tried to tell himself it was a hallucination, but he did not know what to think. Behing the bust sat a mirror, with the word "Remember" written on it in blood. He got up and looked at a bookshelf, his sanity going down by the second. There was a book that was out of place. He grabbed it. It said "Xavier Rehayem" on the front. Could this be who he was? He grabbed the book and started to read. |
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| 17 Nov 2011 02:31 PM |
| The diary recounts the tale of the author's daughter Gwen Rehayem, who was taken possession of by the mighty entities of the Exmortis. It continues to tell of how Xavier made the ultimate sacrifice, attempting to save his only daughter by taking her life in the second bedroom upstairs. Drake did not want to read more. His body swelled with emotion. He put the book away and saw a set of books. He stared at the volumes and saw the same symbol the head held. He did not want to read more. He left the library and returned to the dark hallway. He started to walk when he passed a door. He opened it up out of curiosity. Useless rubble sat and a door on the other side of the small room. He turned the handle, but the door wouldn't budge. It was almost as if something was holding it closed. He started to hear things. Whispers, but they weren't gentle. "You must first remember, then you shall pass," Drake heard. That's twice he had been told to remember. He left to see a painting by the archway. He looked at it. It was a pentagram with the numbers 1, 2, 3, 4, and the letter B. He turned his gaze from that and tried the front door again. It wouldn't move. He headed upstairs, thinking he might be able to break through the last door that Drake had not gone in. When he got there, however, it was ajar. He heard a laugh, uttered from the mouth of a little girl. He entered through the door and saw a girl staring back at him at the end of a bloody bed. She had looked just as Xavier had described. Could this be Gwen? She was transperant. He opened his mouth. "Gwen?" But at that moment, she had screamed a horrible, bloodcurdling scream. Drake stepped back, fallen over, and had fainted. |
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| 17 Nov 2011 02:40 PM |
-Chapter 7-
"Wake up," Uttred a non-friendly man voice. Drake opened his eyes. Nobody was in the room with him anymore. He got up and stared at the bed. This is where gwen had been shot a hundred years ago. He had walked over and felt it. The blood was still wet. How could this be? Drake ran downstairs. What had he been told to remember? He decided it was time to leave. He went in the door in the hallway and tried the door a second time. It had opened. He stepped down a few steps when the door had slammed shut behind him. He tried it, and it was locked. There was an air duct down there, but it was leading away from the house. There was a doorway that was boarded up, but nothing else. Drake scanned the room and saw an axe against the wall. He grabbed it and cut through the boards. The hole was big enough for him to step through. Ahead of him there stood a tunnel. He heard wind. He was almost out. He walked through it, gripping the axe cautiously. He saw two ways he could go, beyond that. There was a door in the tunnel wall, or he could go deeper. He tried the door, but it was locked. He continued on. That's when he heard a voice. "I'll kill you!" He saw a man with a knife running towards him through the tunnels. "You son of a-" The man uttered. Too late. Drake had sliced off his head and the body lay. He looked at the head. It, too, had a symbol carved into his head. That meant this was the fifth camper. Then who was Drake? Then he remembered. He saw the campers coming through the window...he had hidden...waited to strike...the memory was too much for Drake. He had screamed out "NO!". He was the killer. |
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| 17 Nov 2011 02:48 PM |
LAST CHAPTER!
-Chapter 8-
He continued on, shocked and unhappy with what he had did. He saw a key in the hole of the side of the tunnel. He took it, still stunned. He returned to the locked door and unlocked it. Beyond the door stood a pilliar in a long passage and an opening in the other side of the tunnel. Before he could move, however, an unpleasant voice filled the room. "Welcome back, child. You have served us well until this point. Now serve us again. Become the hand of exmortis!" Drake heard. He had a choice. Come with the hooded mysterious figure that suddenly appeared in front of him, or run through the opening and escape. He remembered being promised eternal greatness. He remembered being held here, waking up in the woods. He could have it all...or he could freeze to the death in the woods, trying to find civilization. He knew what he could do. He knew what he wanted to do. He knew what he HAD to do. He looked up at the figure. It couldn't have been anyone less than Lord Vlaew, Holding out his nasty little clawed fingers. He took another glance at the doorway, but proceeded toward Vlaew, dropping the axe. He reached out his hand, grabbing Vlaew's. He laughed and the room filled with blinding white light. He was the hand of Exmortis. |
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| 17 Nov 2011 02:57 PM |
Special Sneak peek!
John Hannay drove towards the church, the only building that wasn't torn down in miles. He got out of the car and looked up at the scorched sky. Months before, he sat, unknowing that the end of the world would soon come. On a pilliar of the church there was graffiti. The one that caught his eye was "Where is your god now?" He believed the world was currently being ruled by Exmortis, which was "The Dead" in latin. He didn't like it. Not one bit. Exmortis was being ruled by none other than Lord Vlaew. But there was another. An immortal, once a hunter. It all started in The House of Naught. The man's name was Drake Linn. John entered the church and sat down on a dusty row of seats. He stared up at the statue of Jesus and began to cry. The Exmortis had been the reason he had found his kids dead on the lawn. They had been the reason he had no family left, why he had to travel to where he did now. He wiped his tears. He would have given anything to get revenge. At that moment, as if a trigger in his mind had been pulled, bloody footsteps started to walk in the space between the chairs. Thump, thump, thump. It walked in a little telephone compartment and shut the door. John Hannay was not alone. |
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Gutbomber
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| Joined: 04 Jul 2009 |
| Total Posts: 944 |
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| 19 Nov 2011 01:01 PM |
| It was a nice read through. I must admit i rushed it because i was in a hurry but i'll give a decent review after i take my time with the story. But from what i read, nice job m8 |
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| 22 Nov 2011 01:45 PM |
I'm sorry for not giving a full Review but since you asked so nicely.
Yeah the story is great starts off strong and promising, i'll admit that i did get a bit bored half way through (had no idea why.) but it did pick up again and had a nice ending. It has a nice piece of lore and interesting characters.
Was it scarier than One Light? far from it. With that being said i don't get scared easily and either did succeed in making me shake with terror BUT it's a nice little story and any sequel would be welcomed.
7/10
P.S sorry for the bad grammar, i'm very tired. |
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| 22 Nov 2011 01:59 PM |
| Sequel out here! http://www.roblox.com/Forum/ShowPost.aspx?PostID=58386691 |
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| 17 Dec 2011 02:33 PM |
| Sequel to sequel: http://www.roblox.com/Forum/ShowPost.aspx?PostID=58128031 |
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| 17 Mar 2012 12:17 AM |
| Actual sequel to sequel: http://www.roblox.com/Forum/ShowPost.aspx?PostID=58482786 |
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lib4by39
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| Joined: 07 Aug 2011 |
| Total Posts: 2142 |
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| 17 Mar 2012 03:54 AM |
| Wow, sounded.... gory xD I like it though. I liked the twist in chapter 7. Very... interesting. |
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danger789
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| Joined: 01 Jul 2009 |
| Total Posts: 828 |
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| 17 Mar 2012 08:37 AM |
| Real nice I'm gonna read the others. |
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