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Re: Chase and His Island. (Story)

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AwsomehouseMan is not online. AwsomehouseMan
Joined: 19 Dec 2010
Total Posts: 1354
14 Oct 2011 01:15 PM
Chase and His Island.

Chapters:

Typical Day
Let's Go!
We meet again
Starnded
Police Department
Searching
A nice swim
A Typical day....On an Island
The Teleporter
The Escape
Introduction:
Ok, before you start reading the story, let me say somthing. Some of you readers might think I'm a Straight A student. Well, you're wrong. I'm actually a Straight F student. In fact, I'm actually a Straight Prank student, too. I can prank anybody. I can prank a Policeman, I can prank a 5 year old, I can even prank my loud next door neigbor, Mrs.Biggie. The point is, this is a story about a boy that would do anything to help, No matter what. Ok, let's start the chapter.




Chapter 1: Typical Day
It was the year 2006, and It was my first day of high school. I wasn't even surprised, If you ask me. High school Is just like a prison. I was my bed, sleeping, and even drolling. My clock rang. "Oh man." I say, "Do I really have to get up now?" Oh well, If I don't mae It to school on time, I'll be the first person to ever get a tardy on my First day of school. So I went downsatars, ate breakfast, brush my teeth, and Ran out the door.
Just about walking to school, I noticed the police man I pranked last summer.
I even saw Mrs.Biggie, she threw a bannana peel at me. Well, THAT was nice.

So anyway, I enter the door, And It looked pretty normal.
But then "She" came along.
The girl walking by is named Christina Watermirk, she basicaly a Spoiled brat.
Her daddy works Is the President of Block-Games INC, and he's really rich. Anyway, Christina was walking down the hallway were her rich school clothes.
"Hey Dorkus!" Christina Insults.
"You know, Christina." I say, "Your "Insults" and such are really not going anywhere"

Christina try's to say somthing. "You're just mad becuase my Daddy works for a coporation." She says.
"You know whop cares Christina?" I say "Nobody. I'm just gonna go to my class and Ignore you for the rest of the day.

"Fine by me." She says, "Bye-Bye, loser.

I don't want to bore you guys with the entire school story, So I'm just gonna continue at Going hoem part.
So anyway, I'm playing Call of Duty on my XBox 360, then my came In my room. "Son" dad says "Were going on a Fall cruise for your first day of school. You wanna come?" Really? Wow, I didn't acutally my dad would do that kind of favor for me. "Sure dad." I say.

"Ok" says dad "Get packed up.
Dad closes the door behind me. Eh, I'll do my packing later.

~Part 2 coming soon :D

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Friaza is not online. Friaza
Joined: 26 Dec 2008
Total Posts: 6229
14 Oct 2011 01:16 PM
"So anyway, I'm playing Call of Duty on my XBox 360, then my came In my room."
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AwsomehouseMan is not online. AwsomehouseMan
Joined: 19 Dec 2010
Total Posts: 1354
14 Oct 2011 01:18 PM
Frizaza
Opps, I forgot to put "Dad" in that sentence.

So anyway, I 'm playing Call of Duty on my XBox 360, them my Dad came in.

That's better
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AwsomehouseMan is not online. AwsomehouseMan
Joined: 19 Dec 2010
Total Posts: 1354
14 Oct 2011 01:20 PM
Anyone? D:
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AwsomehouseMan is not online. AwsomehouseMan
Joined: 19 Dec 2010
Total Posts: 1354
14 Oct 2011 01:23 PM
Come on guys, I've been working so hard on this >:/
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AwsomehouseMan is not online. AwsomehouseMan
Joined: 19 Dec 2010
Total Posts: 1354
14 Oct 2011 01:24 PM
......
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Friaza is not online. Friaza
Joined: 26 Dec 2008
Total Posts: 6229
14 Oct 2011 01:29 PM
I'd love to say something good about it but...

It was short, the intro was bad, the spelling was bad, a ton of extra letters were carelessly put in all over the place, the storyline was like Rebecca Black's song, "Friday".

Basically you woke up, got ready for school then went outside and argued with somebody then played Xbox...

You can tell that it took like 5 minutes to write.
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AwsomehouseMan is not online. AwsomehouseMan
Joined: 19 Dec 2010
Total Posts: 1354
14 Oct 2011 01:34 PM
Ok...Here's chapter 2.

Chapter 2: Let's Go.
I think I'm gonna be Car sick.
Were In our car driving to the cruise ship. We unpacked everthing. I went Into the cruise lobby while dad parked the car.
"Hello" said the Lobby manager, "Would you like to check in?"
"Yes." said my Mom. She checks In, and the manager gave my Mom the key to our room. "Have a Nice day, ma'am" said the lobby manager.

Our room was at the top, where we could see the ocean.
"Chase" said my Mom, "Do you want to come down to the deck?"
"Sure" I said.
We both went downsataris at the deck, every kid I know was there, even Dad.
Mom told me to say Hello to everyone.
It was a pain, but hey, you can Disobey your parents.
I said Hello to all of my realatives, and friends.
After all that, I saw a girl.
"Hello-" I say. Then she turned around. I couldn't believe it.
It was Christina!

"What are YOU doing here?!!?" we both say.

Chapter 3 Is coming soon. (And I mean really soon)
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1WOOF1 is not online. 1WOOF1
Joined: 03 May 2009
Total Posts: 20682
14 Oct 2011 01:35 PM
[ Content Deleted ]
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AwsomehouseMan is not online. AwsomehouseMan
Joined: 19 Dec 2010
Total Posts: 1354
14 Oct 2011 01:39 PM
"The stroryline was like the Rebbeca Black song "Friday"
I wasn't actually thinking, I didn't even know It was compared ._.

"You can tell It took like 5 miutes to write."

Well, I am a fast writer.
Besides I wrote this on Rough draft.
I also want you guys to show your opinions to see how good it is.
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AwsomehouseMan is not online. AwsomehouseMan
Joined: 19 Dec 2010
Total Posts: 1354
14 Oct 2011 01:40 PM
@1WOOF1

Put what In a script?
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