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| 09 Oct 2011 06:25 AM |
Victoria's New Life.
Chapter 1: The Attack!
It was a early day in the morning. Victoria woke up with the RATS as normal. The trumpet was blown as normal. Victoria got out of her pink bed and went to have breakfast. Suddenly the red siren went off. RAT was under attack by the Noble Blade's. Victoria was scared and nervous, this was her first war. Suddenly the main base blew up. Victoria grabbed her gun and dagger and ran out shooting some Noble Blade soilders. Then the green siren went off, FEAR arrived to help us. Victoria only realised about ColourTheory. She ran off to the main base to search for him. Very quietly a Noble Blade Soilder came past and shot ColourTheory before Victoria could help him. Victoria shot the soilder and ran off to the dungeons to hide. Victoria stayed in her spot for 12 Hours. All of a sudden it became quiet. FEAR Soilders came down. A FEAR Soilder who was actually a General. His name was MinieMinion. He told me RAT was finished. Noble Blade destroyed it. He said if I like I can be in FEAR. That's how Victoria's New life began. |
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| 09 Oct 2011 06:28 AM |
| The second Chapter will be created tommorow. |
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| 09 Oct 2011 06:50 AM |
It seems a bit rushed, and to be honest, it's not very good. I'm not trying to hurt your feelings or flaming you. This is just my opinion on it. 7/10 for effort though.
Although I am not the best writer, I did try and revise it to how I would write this.
The morning trumpet sounded, as loud as ever this morning. Victoria got out of her pink bed and down to the breakfast hall, as she had done the past few months. As she was walking, the alarm signaling a raid suddenly went off! Victoria soon found out that RAT was under attack by the Noble Blade's. Victoria was scared and nervous, this was her first raid, despite being here for months. There were sounds of explosions all around, along with the sounds of firing. Victoria went back to the armory, grabbed a dagger and rifle, before rushing outside. There was destitution no matter where you looked. Trees were broken midway, buildings ruined, and and incredibly large amount of RAT soldiers dead. Seeing a nearby Noble Blade soldier, Victoria aimed her rifle and shot him, right in the head. He fell to the ground dead, but two more Noble Blade followed, and they knew her position. She ran behind cover, to try and avoid their shots while they got closer. Unsheathing the knife, she jumped out and threw it at one of them, while taking the rifle and shooting the other. Caught by surprise, the two soldiers didn't even have time to react and they were gone too.
Just minutes later, a massive amount of helicopters were soon seen above the air, FEAR arrived to help repel RAT forces. With FEAR helping RAT repel the Noble Blade forces, Victoria only just realized that ColourTheory could be in danger. She ran off to his headquarters to search for him, hoping he was still alive. As she approached his room, she noticed a NB soldier come from his office, and on instinct shot him. Victoria ran into ColourTheory's room, only to find his body laying there, already dead. Panicking, Victoria ran down to the emptiest and safest place she knew of, the dungeons.
Victoria stayed in there for 12 Hours, when the sounds of gun fire and explosions died down. A FEAR Soldier came down, appearing to be checking the dungeons. He saw Victoria, and walked over towards her. He told her that RAT was finished, their leader was dead and 90% of their soldiers were gone. Noble Blade had finished nearly all of RAT, before FEAR came to help. He offered Victoria a position in FEAR, if she would like to join. It was only a bit later that Victoria found out that FEAR soldier was a General, after he had left in a helicopter. Now, Victoria's new life begins. |
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| 09 Oct 2011 06:55 AM |
| Great story cant wait for more! |
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| 09 Oct 2011 07:06 AM |
Victoria's New Life
2nd Chapter: FEAR?
After a few days Victoria joined trainings and in a few weeks time she became an Officer. She was proud and determined to do more. FEAR then decided to attack Noble Blade for there attack on RAT. Victoria had a partner called animalmagic. Victoria and animalmagic were commanders of a little squad. In the squad there was Officer Colaboy3000, Sergeant ShootingWarrior and Officer Flamingboy123. Victoria and animalmagic had a captain though to keep them busy. That Captains were General MinieMinion and General HoneyMonster111. Victoria and animalmagic's squad was assigned to do a raid on Noble Blade. This was very hard for 5 soilder squad. They then did something they never meant to do.......
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| 09 Oct 2011 07:25 AM |
*cough*iwasahonorofficerbutohwell*cough*
But still, great story!
=lC0L4l= |
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| 09 Oct 2011 06:00 PM |
| Sorry, I'll include that in my third chapter. |
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| 09 Oct 2011 06:14 PM |
Victoria's New Life
Chapter 3: The mistake
Animalmagic and Victoria's squad set out. We decided to go in teams. Victoria and Honour Officer Colaboy3000. Animalmagic with Officer Flaminboy123 and Sergeant ShootingWarrior. As soon as they made teams they set off to Noble Blade's main base to destroy there leader. Each soilder had a pistol, shotgun, grenades and a dagger. Victoria got out her pistol while Colaboy3000 planted the bomb. Suddenly a Noble Blade soilder with a machine gun ran out shootings us. Colaboy3000 and Victoria got in cover just in time. Victoria put away her pistol and got out her shotgun. She fired two times at the soilder. He was dead. Victoria ran over to the body and grabbed the machine gun and uniform. She changed into it and acted like a normal Noble Blade while Colaboy3000 was planting the bomb. One Noble Blade leader said that there was no girls in Noble Blade. This is how the mistake begun..... |
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| 09 Oct 2011 06:18 PM |
| Spelled my name wrong! >:U But good story. |
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| 09 Oct 2011 07:03 PM |
Victoria's New Life.
Chapter 4: Suddenly the red sirens went off. Animalmagic's team was found and was put in jail. As the Officer asked Victoria what she was doing here she took out her dagger and stabbed him lightly so he can suffer. Colaboy3000 ran and said he planted it. Victoria ran to the jails in main base quickly so she can Animalmagic's squad to get out.. Just in time she reached them and they ran out of the main base. Suddenly the green sirens went off. The Vaktovians have arrived to help Noble Blade. Victoria took out the machine gun she stole before. ShootingWarrior had one too so they shot 100 Soilders until there ammo ran out. All Of sudden a Blue Siren went off. Victoria only realised it was WIJ to help FEAR. Corporal Leeruby ran out and shot 3 Noble Blades. He said that we were to get out of here. Animal and Victoria made there decision and told the squad they were dismissed. |
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| 09 Oct 2011 07:04 PM |
Victoria's New Life.
Chapter 4: Help!
Suddenly the red sirens went off. Animalmagic's team was found and was put in jail. As the Officer asked Victoria what she was doing here she took out her dagger and stabbed him lightly so he can suffer. Colaboy3000 ran and said he planted it. Victoria ran to the jails in main base quickly so she can Animalmagic's squad to get out.. Just in time she reached them and they ran out of the main base. Suddenly the green sirens went off. The Vaktovians have arrived to help Noble Blade. Victoria took out the machine gun she stole before. ShootingWarrior had one too so they shot 100 Soilders until there ammo ran out. All Of sudden a Blue Siren went off. Victoria only realised it was WIJ to help FEAR. Corporal Leeruby ran out and shot 3 Noble Blades. He said that we were to get out of here. Animal and Victoria made there decision and told the squad they were dismissed.
Sorry I didn't say what the chapter was. |
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| 09 Oct 2011 07:16 PM |
| HOW DARE YOU NOT HAVE ME HERE! *Stamps Rainbow Dash's hoof print in Disapproval unless you put me in the story* |
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| 09 Oct 2011 08:34 PM |
Thank you :3 *Puts Rainbow Dash's Hoof print in approval* APPROVED! |
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| 09 Oct 2011 08:34 PM |
Victoria's New Life
Chapter 5: FEAR's Assaination.
After a lot of fighting and shooting. The Noble Blades were destroyed. SilentSword, who was the leader of WIJ said it was ok to go back to FEAR. Victoria and Animalmagic's squad was sent back to FEAR main base for a Promotion Ceremony. Victoria and animalmagic were promoted to General. Then we had a meeting with SONICTHEHEDGEHOGXX. Sonic presented us with medals and suddenly, A ninja jumped from a vent and stabbed Sonic. Sonic was dying. Officer Neowolf543 shot the ninja with his pistol. Everyone sat down beside Sonic. We called in the medics. The docter was tigerfire148. He said Sonic would live if he stays in hospital for 3 months. This was very hard for FEAR. We had no leader for 3 Months. Sonic then said WambatKiller and Shagabash was in charge.
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| 09 Oct 2011 08:42 PM |
| YAY I WANNA BE IN THE OTHER CHAPTERS TOO! Btw I'm a Military Officer. |
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SMD51
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| Joined: 27 Jun 2011 |
| Total Posts: 18 |
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| 09 Oct 2011 08:47 PM |
these is epicness. although I have something to say. I don't WANT credit for serving FEAR. And I don't expect it. But I am a little annoyed that every general, every leader and even SONIC himself would only focus on that captian or that sergant. Everyone knows the bulk of FEAR is the group of people who get no notice. I am representitive of the Corporal branch and I approve of this message. |
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| 09 Oct 2011 08:49 PM |
First mistake of the stories: You need to get the information correct! Vak doesn't help anyone. And there are more mistakes in the information. I'll point out some more mistakes later on :P |
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| 09 Oct 2011 09:48 PM |
Victoria's New Life.
Chapter 6: Revenge.
After a few days FEAR was crazy. Everyone set off to find out was clan sent the assain. This is until we found out there was a new clan called Sleet Clan. We heard they are very sneaky and they can be very talented. Wambat and Shaga decided to send there best soilders to raid them. The commander were Wambat, Shaga and Victoria. There were three different Sections. Alpha, Air, Snipers. Victoria was commanding the Snipers. There weapons were; A Sniper, A rifle, Pistol and a dagger. There uniform was daggy but no one cared. Everyone took there weapons and go into Position. |
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| 09 Oct 2011 11:59 PM |
| Sorry, I don't write much. Although in the Naplan Test I came first in Australia. |
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| 10 Oct 2011 04:30 AM |
| Honestly I think it's good. |
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| 10 Oct 2011 07:24 AM |
Victoria's New Life
Chapter 7: War!!!
Every person in FEAR is in Position! Victoria shouts, "ATTACK!" As soon as she said it the Jets flew off and the alpha's ran through bushes and blew the gate up. The Snipers went in trees and shot some guards. After the guards were dead all the snipers got out there grenade and sling shotted it in the base. Victoria brought in 1,000 medics in case anything bad happened. Each medic had the medic kit, a pistol, gloves and a knife. Victoria ran down to help the medics leaving animalmagic in charge of the snipers. Victoria shot a soilder with her rifle and grabbed his AK47. She picked it up and shot another eight sleet clan soilders. The gun ran out of ammo so she dropped it. Suddenly WIJians arrived. SilentSword came to Victoria and they shooted side by side. Victoria shot 20 people with a rifle!
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