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| 03 Oct 2011 07:49 PM |
It was a warm and windy fall day when I rode my bike into the fence. It all started when I was with my friend in my backyard. The horror started when I was racing my friend around my backyard. I had JUST stopped for a rabbit to pass when my ignorant friend ran into me. I then proceeded with momentum and hit the rabbit. The rabbit was okay, but my emotional state of mind was not. Later that day my genius friend and I had decided to play Chicken with a fence. So, we went to the top of my downhill backyard, and flew as fast as we could toward the fence. He hit first then got out of the way so as for me to take my turn. Being the smart nine year old I am I hit the fence in the exact same place as he had. My momentum was evidently so much, that it carried me into, and through the fence. Then, I hit my neighbor’s fence. That fence held, but it hurt me very badly. I came away from the dangerous encounter with 22 XP and 45 GOLD.
»The King of RT« |
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| 03 Oct 2011 07:49 PM |
P.S. i actually turned this into a teacher.
»The King of RT« |
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| 03 Oct 2011 07:53 PM |
Ah, I think this is very descriptive, and has good points, like a good passage should.
5/5 |
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| 03 Oct 2011 07:54 PM |
Thank you. How did you like the ending?
»The King of RT« |
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| 03 Oct 2011 07:55 PM |
I like how you stopped at a certain point.I love when authors do that.It always grasps the reader's attention.If you have more, please do share. -ConverseGirl121 :) |
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| 03 Oct 2011 07:59 PM |
Well, I wrote a few page essay. But I turned in the summary. Like this.
»The King of RT« |
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| 03 Oct 2011 08:01 PM |
YOU PLAYED CHICKEN WITH A FENCE AND WON.....
+25 RESPECT |
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LLegomman
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| Joined: 07 Dec 2010 |
| Total Posts: 2522 |
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| 03 Oct 2011 08:07 PM |
| You should have explained what Chicken was. I don't know what it is, overall nice paper. |
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F1REC4K3
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GAT0RADE
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| 03 Oct 2011 08:10 PM |
| It's very descriptive, which is good. |
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qwazola
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| Joined: 23 Oct 2008 |
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| 03 Oct 2011 08:12 PM |
| Epic. Except the last sentence... :/ |
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| 03 Oct 2011 08:17 PM |
qwaz i dislike the teacher. He is addicted to RP games. So he got what I was saying. I will type the other paper I turned in. That was my joke paper.
Memoir It was a warm and windy fall day when I rode my bike into the fence. It all started when I was with my friend in my backyard. The horror started when I was racing my friend around my backyard. I had JUST stopped for a rabbit to pass when my ignorant friend ran into me. I then proceeded with momentum and hit the rabbit. The rabbit was okay, but my emotional state of mind was not. Later that day my genius friend and I had decided to play Chicken with a fence. So, we went to the top of my downhill backyard, and flew as fast as we could toward the fence. He hit first then got out of the way so as for me to take my turn. Being the smart nine year old I am I thought about all of my options. If I wussed out, I would lose a massive amount of respect earned. So I decided to go. I hit the fence in the exact same place as he had. My momentum was evidently so much, that it carried me into, and through the fence. Then, I hit my neighbor’s fence. That fence held, but it hurt me very badly. I came away from the dangerous encounter with a missing tooth, a broken finger, a broken helmet, a broken fence, a destroyed bike, and the amazing title of reckless.
»The King of RT« |
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qwazola
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| Joined: 23 Oct 2008 |
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| 03 Oct 2011 08:19 PM |
| You have an RPng teacher? Lul, I had a teacher that played reach. |
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| 03 Oct 2011 08:25 PM |
Yes I do. He is very addicted. So I was chiding him.
»The King of RT« |
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qwazola
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| 03 Oct 2011 08:26 PM |
| You should probably use the first paper then. |
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| 03 Oct 2011 08:27 PM |
I turned them both in. The thing is that is funny, I got a better grade on the first paper. Do you think he got my joke?
»The King of RT« |
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| 03 Oct 2011 08:28 PM |
| So, it's about you hurting a poor rabbit, and acting stupid and hitting fences. |
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iornfence
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| 03 Oct 2011 08:30 PM |
| 8.5 out of 10. The sentences seemed a bit boring and loosely linked. colorful description though. |
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qwazola
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| Joined: 23 Oct 2008 |
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| 03 Oct 2011 08:30 PM |
I'm sure he did. :P Teachers like it when your papers relate to them. I wrote one about skiing resort, and when I got it back she had written a note saying that she loved the ski resort that I wrote about and went there every year.
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Mario620
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| 03 Oct 2011 08:39 PM |
@coolboy Yes. Pretty much.
»The King of RT« |
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