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FEAR Book: The Last Straw: Chapter 1

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HACK3R is not online. HACK3R
Joined: 10 Feb 2008
Total Posts: 138
02 Oct 2011 02:20 AM
The date is 8/2/2021. Commander SONICTHEHEDGEHOGXX is sitting in his office in Fort Alianor. He reaches for his cup of coffee, just as the wall bursts open. "What in the world?!" Sonic exclaims. Sonic steps back, just as a robotic arm appears from out of all of the dust and debris. The arm reaches for Sonic and carries him into a giant robot, about 6 stories tall. As soon as he enters the robot, he sees SHADOWTHEHEDGEHOGXX smiling and welcoming him. "You... You are so.." Sonic says "Handsome? Awesome?" Shadow interrupts. Sonic punches Shadow on the shoulder then sits on the captain seat. "Didn't you hear about the group party this night?" Shadow asks. "No, I haven't... What's it for?" Sonic replies. "Some Sergeant's birthday..." Shadow replies. "Oh. I guess it's only fair." Sonic says. Sonic engages the jet boots of the robot and flies off towards to the FEAR Party Place. They soon land by the beach. Sergeant HACK3R is happy to see Sonic and Shadow land at the party site, as it is his birthday. But as soon as HACK3R goes to welcome Sonic and Shadow, 4 helicopters hover over the site and send down 5 soldiers from each helicopter. The soldiers threaten to kill Sonic and Shadow, unless FEAR were to surrender to their clan. This... is the last straw.


Please leave reviews about my new book! It took me about 20 minutes to write it, and I hope you all like it.


Thanks for reading,
HACK3R
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swat7890 is not online. swat7890
Joined: 03 Feb 2011
Total Posts: 7
02 Oct 2011 03:09 AM
IT REALLY GOOD AND I MEAN ONLY 20 MINUTES soz caps
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doomspire392 is not online. doomspire392
Joined: 15 Jun 2010
Total Posts: 1709
02 Oct 2011 03:14 AM
[ Content Deleted ]
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MinieMinion is not online. MinieMinion
Joined: 01 Jan 2011
Total Posts: 263
02 Oct 2011 03:32 AM
Unrealistic:P
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flaminwolf123 is not online. flaminwolf123
Joined: 14 Oct 2009
Total Posts: 1916
02 Oct 2011 06:17 AM
Reasons why I am not a fan: Too many people making FEAR stories now.... And it doesn't have much drama....
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zach2222 is not online. zach2222
Joined: 24 May 2008
Total Posts: 3940
02 Oct 2011 03:02 PM
Giant Hand Bursting through the wall o.e?
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FerrariLambo is not online. FerrariLambo
Joined: 21 Nov 2009
Total Posts: 1077
02 Oct 2011 03:02 PM
A Different Topic would be preferred.
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HACK3R is not online. HACK3R
Joined: 10 Feb 2008
Total Posts: 138
02 Oct 2011 03:03 PM
Hey guys, it's only the first chapter... I'll make the second chapter today, I'll make it way more exciting and dramatic. Besides, Sonic himself said it was a good idea to make this.
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HACK3R is not online. HACK3R
Joined: 10 Feb 2008
Total Posts: 138
02 Oct 2011 03:05 PM
Ferrari, this is a book. It's in the Movies/TV/Books section. I'm sure this is the correct topic.
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FerrariLambo is not online. FerrariLambo
Joined: 21 Nov 2009
Total Posts: 1077
02 Oct 2011 03:12 PM
No as in, too much people are making stories about FEAR. It would be nice to make one more Emotional or dramatic.
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HACK3R is not online. HACK3R
Joined: 10 Feb 2008
Total Posts: 138
02 Oct 2011 03:38 PM
Oh. If you guys don't want me to continue this story, I won't... cuz I'm getting alot of bad feedback T_T
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doomspire392 is not online. doomspire392
Joined: 15 Jun 2010
Total Posts: 1709
02 Oct 2011 03:47 PM
[ Content Deleted ]
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catworld3 is not online. catworld3
Joined: 09 Aug 2010
Total Posts: 1020
02 Oct 2011 04:08 PM
Nice.
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FerrariLambo is not online. FerrariLambo
Joined: 21 Nov 2009
Total Posts: 1077
03 Oct 2011 01:26 PM
You continue your story, it's a good practise for your Vocabulary and grammar, don't really take in the Bad feedback, Take in the supporting feedback which tells you to improve it. My idea is to change the topic of FEAR, it's too unrealistic when people use it too much. Maybe a Dramatic affair or etc.
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kalibb is not online. kalibb
Joined: 11 Feb 2010
Total Posts: 871
03 Oct 2011 06:17 PM
It moves to fast.
But don't give up keep making stories!
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AngelsCanDoEvil is not online. AngelsCanDoEvil
Joined: 20 Aug 2011
Total Posts: 978
03 Oct 2011 06:36 PM
This is the saddest thing I have ever seen...
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HACK3R is not online. HACK3R
Joined: 10 Feb 2008
Total Posts: 138
10 Oct 2011 12:01 AM
I've decided not to continue, since I will not have enough time to make more chapters since school is in the way... :( All the haters: You're welcome. All the people who liked it: I'm sorry.
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victoria621 is online. victoria621
Joined: 11 Oct 2008
Total Posts: 10449
10 Oct 2011 12:08 AM
Guys, Don't be so mean. He wants to make the second chapter but how? How? With all this feedback. I think it's Cool.
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HACK3R is not online. HACK3R
Joined: 10 Feb 2008
Total Posts: 138
03 Nov 2011 11:09 PM
Instead of making this book, I will start a DIFFERENT book with more drama and action! I'll put the link up later today
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