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Re: RAID vs RED Chapter 1: The Attack [Repost]

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desertedbart is not online. desertedbart
Joined: 17 Dec 2010
Total Posts: 2258
27 Sep 2011 07:35 PM
Hope you like this story. It's a story about RAID versus RED. It's my first story, tell me what you think.

________________________________________________________________________


Desertedbart: Line up!

Everybody else: Yes, sir!

Desertedbart: We will be raiding RED. We will be getting there by Gunship, and also shooting from the gunship.

Epicfacekiller123: Sir, when will you tell us our positions on the Gunship?

Desertedbart: When we get to the gunship.

iKeyloggz: Greatirondaniel, Desertedbart, and I will lead this raid. Follow me to the gunship.


[At the gunship]

Desertedbart: Darkness159, man the radar. Axeltvs, you man the turrets. CaptainJordan1234, man the missiles.

Greatirondaniel: What am I doing?

iKeyloggz: You are making sure everybody is doing their job here.

Greatirondaniel: Ok.

[In the air]

Darkness159: We're approaching the RED HQ!

Greatirondaniel: Everybody, prepare for battle.

[In turret & missiles room]

Greatirondaniel: If you can, start firing the missiles and turrets at them!

Axeltvs & Darkness159: Yes, sir!

[At RED HQ]

Lejam7890: Sir, a RAID Gunship is heading towards us!

DoctorCooper: Fire a missile at their propeller, make them crash.
Lejam7890: Yes, sir!

[In RAID gunship]

Darkness159: Sir, a missile is heading straight for us!

Greatirondaniel: Everybody, BRACE FOR IMPACT!


________________________________________________________________________
Did you like it? It's my first story. Chapter 2 coming soon.
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balone123 is not online. balone123
Joined: 14 Jan 2010
Total Posts: 10553
27 Sep 2011 07:35 PM
GOOD
TOO SHORT
now i hate
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iKeyloggz is not online. iKeyloggz
Joined: 24 Oct 2010
Total Posts: 14985
27 Sep 2011 07:36 PM
It's chapter one..

lol.
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desertedbart is not online. desertedbart
Joined: 17 Dec 2010
Total Posts: 2258
27 Sep 2011 07:37 PM
I wanted to leave you on a cliffhanger.
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koopatroopa007 is not online. koopatroopa007
Joined: 30 Apr 2010
Total Posts: 8081
27 Sep 2011 07:40 PM
Can I be in the next chapter? :)
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tguinn8 is not online. tguinn8
Joined: 10 May 2011
Total Posts: 41
27 Sep 2011 07:54 PM
So much drama... Join us for part 2 coming soon..... lol :D
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CommaderBleed is not online. CommaderBleed
Joined: 26 Sep 2010
Total Posts: 21
27 Sep 2011 07:57 PM
ME WANNA BE IN xD
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desertedbart is not online. desertedbart
Joined: 17 Dec 2010
Total Posts: 2258
27 Sep 2011 07:59 PM
You guys will be in the backup squad that comes later.
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desertedbart is not online. desertedbart
Joined: 17 Dec 2010
Total Posts: 2258
27 Sep 2011 08:12 PM
Preview of Ch. 2:
Darkness159: Maday, the missile hit the propeller, all the systems are offline!
iKeyloggz: This is gonna be a bumpy landing!
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pyrusnight1 is not online. pyrusnight1
Joined: 26 Aug 2010
Total Posts: 16
27 Sep 2011 08:58 PM
can i be in the next chapter to ::3
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desertedbart is not online. desertedbart
Joined: 17 Dec 2010
Total Posts: 2258
27 Sep 2011 09:08 PM
Guys, you won't get into the next chapter. Probably chapter 5/6.
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tguinn8 is not online. tguinn8
Joined: 10 May 2011
Total Posts: 41
27 Sep 2011 09:18 PM
When will chapter 2 be finished?
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desertedbart is not online. desertedbart
Joined: 17 Dec 2010
Total Posts: 2258
27 Sep 2011 09:25 PM
Chapter 2: http://www.roblox.com/Forum/ShowPost.aspx?PostID=55484805
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desertedbart is not online. desertedbart
Joined: 17 Dec 2010
Total Posts: 2258
28 Sep 2011 09:09 AM
I want feedback from non-RAID as well, ;3
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shadowblaster22 is not online. shadowblaster22
Joined: 01 May 2010
Total Posts: 11175
28 Sep 2011 09:11 AM
Put all the chapters on one thread.

Awesome story!
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desertedbart is not online. desertedbart
Joined: 17 Dec 2010
Total Posts: 2258
28 Sep 2011 09:18 AM
Ok, thanks ;3, but i'm posting on different threads, so I can shout it in RAID
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axelvts is not online. axelvts
Joined: 27 Apr 2008
Total Posts: 3029
28 Sep 2011 02:33 PM
OMG YOU MISSPELLED MY NAME!!! AND IM NOT EVIN IN CHAPTER 2!!! LOL BUT STILL!
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BowMaster9 is not online. BowMaster9
Joined: 11 May 2010
Total Posts: 3366
28 Sep 2011 02:36 PM
Too much gunship.
Boo.

[_/See You starside\_]
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desertedbart is not online. desertedbart
Joined: 17 Dec 2010
Total Posts: 2258
28 Sep 2011 02:42 PM
axel, you're one of the people that are getting food
and you'll be one of the people working on the boat
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