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Re: rate my poem 1/10 doing it for school

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Pendragon is not online. Pendragon
Joined: 14 Oct 2007
Total Posts: 8263
20 Sep 2011 12:00 AM
feeling all alone, sleeping my troubles away, the more i sleep, the more i forget, oh how i wish my sorrows would end.


lol
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Cardzx is not online. Cardzx
Joined: 20 Jan 2011
Total Posts: 2871
20 Sep 2011 12:02 AM
mines better




BABY BABY BABY OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH
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FancyLongUsername is not online. FancyLongUsername
Joined: 22 Aug 2011
Total Posts: 188
20 Sep 2011 12:03 AM
you be emo? :o
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cod0078 is not online. cod0078
Joined: 15 Oct 2010
Total Posts: 2429
20 Sep 2011 12:03 AM
lol
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Pendragon is not online. Pendragon
Joined: 14 Oct 2007
Total Posts: 8263
20 Sep 2011 12:06 AM
no


its suppose to be sad, i posted this in off topic too omg

im not actually emo, its just suppose to be sad
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Pendragon is not online. Pendragon
Joined: 14 Oct 2007
Total Posts: 8263
20 Sep 2011 12:09 AM
srs
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brandonwild11 is not online. brandonwild11
Joined: 19 Apr 2011
Total Posts: 6448
20 Sep 2011 12:11 AM
5/10
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WookieGiver is not online. WookieGiver
Joined: 03 May 2008
Total Posts: 789
20 Sep 2011 12:12 AM
inconspicuous sad face
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Ictis is not online. Ictis
Joined: 01 Sep 2011
Total Posts: 1216
20 Sep 2011 12:13 AM
I'm in creative writing and tenth grade English, so let me provide you with some critique.

-Capitalization

Obviously, the first letter of your sentences should start with a capital letter. Also, 'I' 'I'm' and variations should be capitalized.

-Punctuation

I can't really say anything about this, because it flows moderately well.

-Format

Your poem should be formatted more like this:

Line,
line,
line,
line.


Feeling all alone,
Sleeping my troubles away,
The more I sleep,
The more I forget,
Oh how I wish my sorrows would end.
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Pendragon is not online. Pendragon
Joined: 14 Oct 2007
Total Posts: 8263
20 Sep 2011 12:13 AM
kk
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Pendragon is not online. Pendragon
Joined: 14 Oct 2007
Total Posts: 8263
20 Sep 2011 12:14 AM
@dude obsessing over grammar


Yes. I know how to speak/type with grammar.


I would obviously fix its grammar issues if I turned it in for school.
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Ictis is not online. Ictis
Joined: 01 Sep 2011
Total Posts: 1216
20 Sep 2011 12:19 AM
It's simply something I kind of nit-pick in.

I believe it will serve me well later in life.
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Pendragon is not online. Pendragon
Joined: 14 Oct 2007
Total Posts: 8263
20 Sep 2011 12:23 AM
k
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