Pendragon
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| Joined: 14 Oct 2007 |
| Total Posts: 8263 |
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| 20 Sep 2011 12:00 AM |
feeling all alone, sleeping my troubles away, the more i sleep, the more i forget, oh how i wish my sorrows would end.
lol |
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Cardzx
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| Joined: 20 Jan 2011 |
| Total Posts: 2871 |
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| 20 Sep 2011 12:02 AM |
mines better
BABY BABY BABY OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH |
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cod0078
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| Joined: 15 Oct 2010 |
| Total Posts: 2429 |
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Pendragon
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| Joined: 14 Oct 2007 |
| Total Posts: 8263 |
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| 20 Sep 2011 12:06 AM |
no
its suppose to be sad, i posted this in off topic too omg
im not actually emo, its just suppose to be sad |
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Pendragon
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| Joined: 14 Oct 2007 |
| Total Posts: 8263 |
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Ictis
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| Joined: 01 Sep 2011 |
| Total Posts: 1216 |
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| 20 Sep 2011 12:13 AM |
I'm in creative writing and tenth grade English, so let me provide you with some critique.
-Capitalization
Obviously, the first letter of your sentences should start with a capital letter. Also, 'I' 'I'm' and variations should be capitalized.
-Punctuation
I can't really say anything about this, because it flows moderately well.
-Format
Your poem should be formatted more like this:
Line, line, line, line.
Feeling all alone, Sleeping my troubles away, The more I sleep, The more I forget, Oh how I wish my sorrows would end. |
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Pendragon
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| Joined: 14 Oct 2007 |
| Total Posts: 8263 |
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Pendragon
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| Joined: 14 Oct 2007 |
| Total Posts: 8263 |
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| 20 Sep 2011 12:14 AM |
@dude obsessing over grammar
Yes. I know how to speak/type with grammar.
I would obviously fix its grammar issues if I turned it in for school. |
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Ictis
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| Joined: 01 Sep 2011 |
| Total Posts: 1216 |
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| 20 Sep 2011 12:19 AM |
It's simply something I kind of nit-pick in.
I believe it will serve me well later in life. |
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Pendragon
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| Joined: 14 Oct 2007 |
| Total Posts: 8263 |
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