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| 10 Sep 2011 04:57 PM |
For Dummies!
Ah well, if you clicked on this thread I'm assuming you read the title of the thread and are reading the contents of it.
NOW, ON WITH IT
It is generally assumed bullies hurt your precious little 'feelings' for one or all three reasons (They are the many assorted 'races' of bullykind):
-Insecurity (way highly unlikely) -Sociopathy (just medium unlikely) -Lulz (only slightly unlikely)
The insecure race will bully because they are well, insecure. These people are so rare the only place that they are common in is children's fiction, in which they reside gleefully tearing people apart due to bad homelives and general ignorance. Seriously. They don't really exist.
The sociopath race are bullies that bully because they're sociopaths and sociopaths are evil. They exist in real life because the majority of children and teenagers are in fact, sociopaths. These bullies are similar to bullies who do it for lulz in that they do it for fun, but whereas people who do it for fun only go so far due to y'know, ACTUALLY HAVING SOCIAL LIVES, sociopaths can and will drive you to suicide.
The lulz race are my personal favorite class and the most common. While they tend to only do what will entertain themselves and their buddies, they can range anywhere from hilarious to as painfully unfunny as most teachers.
And, now, onto the classes:
-Abysmal & Physical (A&P's)
-Wanker Pranker (Yes, I am aware of the connotations of the W word in a certain European country.)
-Wise Guys
A&P's beat you up. The reasons vary, maybe you're ugly. You should consider plastic surgery. Maybe for your lunch money. But what kind of loser eats the crappy school lunches anyway? Maybe you ticked them off. Perhaps you should avoid doing that.
They are most commonly sociopaths &/or insecures.
Here's how to deal with them:
-Go to the teacher (HAHAHA OH WOW)
-Go to the parents (In all seriousness, teachers will rarely help you. Parents will often refuse to believe their child is anything less than an angel. So you...)
-Get means of self defense. Pound this fool into the ground. Get friends, weapons, anything. You will get in trouble, but if you win, he will never screw with you again. (Unless he's in a gang, in which case you just signed your own death sentence.)
WPrankers, I making this up as I go along, you must realize by now. These pokes copy your homework without your permission. They 'borrow' your stuff and play keep away, you know these guys. They are thought to be descended from "Puer Iocari", an ancient species (dating back to the 1980s!) in which name is google translated to mean 'joking child'. They can be entertaining to watch, and are relatively easy to deal with. They are commonly luls & insecure.
-Tell a teacher (lololol)
-Punch him/her
-Grab your stuff
-Punch them again
And now, for my absolute FAVORITE class, you have
the wise guys.
I love these guys. Seriously. They are often unfunny, but sometimes, if you're lucky, you'll be tormented by a guy who is so hilarious, it doesn't matter. These are the guys who call you names, make jokes about you, call your mom names........... y'know, all the fun stuff. They are of the lulz race. Mostly lulz. Well, you can have insecures here, but we all know our mommies just made them up to make us feel better.
You can combat them in a few ways.
-Go along with their insults for lulz. (ex: a guy calls you gay, you walk up to him and ask him if he's interested in the most campy ham-like over-the-top way you can, it will either make him so weirded out he won't bug you, or it'll be sooo funny nobody will even care.)
-Ignore him (Pretend you're hard of hearing. It's funny. Try it.)
-Punch him (antisocial activity, people will shun you for this)
-Get a teacher
-Punch him again (SHUN SHUN SHUN SHUN)
-Sarcasm. Sarcasm, Sarcasm. Learn it. Breath it. Live it.
Well, I do believe that covers it all.
Remember kids, violence will in fact solve your problems where adults have failed you.
Oh, oh, and if you are planning on killing yourself you shouldn't because then you're letting the bullies win and most of them are retarded much like my possible brain-damaged self here.
TL;DR: you missed out on the most awesomest article like
ever
so go back and read it |
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