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Re: How to tell if your cat is trying to kill you

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NotYourPersonalArmy is not online. NotYourPersonalArmy
Joined: 08 Aug 2011
Total Posts: 57
16 Aug 2011 06:13 AM
Kneading you
You may think this is a sign of affection, but your cat is actually checking your internal organs for weaknesses.

Excessive shoveling of kitty litter
After using the litter box, your cat needlessly kicks litter around, most of it ending up all over the room. This is practice for burying bodies.

Staring contests
If you get caught in a staring contest with your cat, do not look away. Looking away will signal to your cat that you are weak, and an attack is likely to follow.

Bringing you dead animals
This isn't a gift. It's a warning.

Throwing up grass
Through this painful feeding and purging process, cats prepare their minds and bodies for combat.

Hiding in dark places and watching you
Your cat will often hide in order to study you in your natural habitat.

Sleeping on your electronics
Humans have superior technology. Your cat knows this and will attempt to disrupt all communications to the outside world.

Pawing at your face while you sleep
Cats aren't very good at smothering people, but this won't stop them from trying.

Sprinting at light speed out of any room you enter
When your cat does this, it's actually a failed ambush.
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Icecool556 is not online. Icecool556
Joined: 28 May 2009
Total Posts: 2068
16 Aug 2011 06:15 AM
Reminds me of Cat soup..
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dc131 is not online. dc131
Joined: 16 Oct 2008
Total Posts: 19334
16 Aug 2011 06:16 AM
[ Content Deleted ]
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Bawbby is not online. Bawbby
Joined: 10 Oct 2008
Total Posts: 22139
16 Aug 2011 06:17 AM
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Icecool556 is not online. Icecool556
Joined: 28 May 2009
Total Posts: 2068
16 Aug 2011 06:19 AM
Bringing you dead animals
This isn't a gift. It's a warning.

i lold.
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UristMcForumer is not online. UristMcForumer
Joined: 13 Jun 2011
Total Posts: 1676
16 Aug 2011 06:25 AM
You got this from the Oatmeal site.
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coldbloodedkiller9 is not online. coldbloodedkiller9
Joined: 16 Jun 2011
Total Posts: 6522
16 Aug 2011 06:30 AM
oh my god...... i have 3 cats and they all do this... IM OUT NUMBERED HELP HEEELPPP PLEASSSSEEE AHHH THERE COMING AHHHHHHHHHHHSDKLdgjah djnvz,fdmflmsjkzhbv bvAJKLXZ LNcoa.
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NotYourPersonalArmy is not online. NotYourPersonalArmy
Joined: 08 Aug 2011
Total Posts: 57
16 Aug 2011 08:05 AM
@Urist

Nope, this was not copypasta'd, but written down from an image, I didn't get it from the page you named.
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Magicaz is not online. Magicaz
Joined: 11 Jul 2009
Total Posts: 3910
16 Aug 2011 08:07 AM
If your cat attaches it self to your head, is it still trying to kill you?
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UristMcForumer is not online. UristMcForumer
Joined: 13 Jun 2011
Total Posts: 1676
17 Aug 2011 09:47 AM
And the image was from the oatmeal site.
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Tecliz is not online. Tecliz
Joined: 29 Apr 2010
Total Posts: 795
17 Aug 2011 09:53 AM
oh crap
they're gonna take over the world
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Magicaz is not online. Magicaz
Joined: 11 Jul 2009
Total Posts: 3910
17 Aug 2011 11:08 AM
@tecliz
One country at a time.....
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