|
| 06 Aug 2011 06:05 PM |
Your name is JAKE.
You have a variety of INTERESTS.
These include but are not limited to AQUATIC LIFE, MAGAZINES, and ALL THINGS FEMININE PROPAGANDA.
Today is your twentieth birthday.
Your PHONE rings on this bright an early morning. What LOVING, FRIENDLY greeting shall you give your caller? |
|
|
| Report Abuse |
|
|
| |
|
|
| 06 Aug 2011 06:10 PM |
"Go away." you mouth to your annoying caller. Dare they interrupt your precious beauty slumber, they will die under your mighty fist!
"I just wanted to tell you happy birthday, bro... " your older brother, MARTIN, replies. You are about to apologize as he hangs up on you. Damn, you're mean.
You find yourself fully awake after taking a few well needed stretches. The POSTMAN'S VAN is on the horizon with a large number of PARCELS: the majority presumably addressed to you.
What do you do before the POSTMAN arrives at your apartment complex? |
|
|
| Report Abuse |
|
|
werternut
|
  |
| Joined: 19 Aug 2008 |
| Total Posts: 1817 |
|
| |
|
|
| 06 Aug 2011 06:15 PM |
You have no cannons. The damn landlord confiscated them.
Instead, you make a paper one out of all your OVERDUE BILLS. God, who knew paperwork could be so fun?
You make a few paper cannonballs and load them into the cannon. You would light the fuse, but the cannon would burn to a crisp and you'd be dead. Haha, yeah.
What now? |
|
|
| Report Abuse |
|
|
werternut
|
  |
| Joined: 19 Aug 2008 |
| Total Posts: 1817 |
|
|
| 06 Aug 2011 06:16 PM |
| Make my laser pointer burn things. |
|
|
| Report Abuse |
|
|
|
| 06 Aug 2011 06:18 PM |
Why do you spontaneously think that you have such absurd equipment? I don't think I see the last name JETSON coming right after JAKE, you know.
What now? |
|
|
| Report Abuse |
|
|
|
| 06 Aug 2011 06:19 PM |
Trip down the stairs.
~f٥гﻉ√ﻉг™~ |
|
|
| Report Abuse |
|
|
Narmzor
|
  |
| Joined: 31 Mar 2011 |
| Total Posts: 1145 |
|
| |
|
|
| 06 Aug 2011 06:21 PM |
Tripping is for sissies. You are a MANLY MAN, with muscles popping out at ever angle of your ever so slender body.
Who are you kidding, you weigh eighty pounds.
You walk toward the steps and head down to see if the POSTMAN is there. Unfortunately, you trip down all seven flights, and miraculously survive. So unfortunate.
What now? |
|
|
| Report Abuse |
|
|
Narmzor
|
  |
| Joined: 31 Mar 2011 |
| Total Posts: 1145 |
|
|
| 06 Aug 2011 06:22 PM |
| Wander into the street and get hit by Dale Earnheardt driving in the Daytona 500, which just so happens to be right next to the apartment. |
|
|
| Report Abuse |
|
|
|
| 06 Aug 2011 06:23 PM |
Get up like a boss and go outside.
~f٥гﻉ√ﻉг™~ |
|
|
| Report Abuse |
|
|
|
| 06 Aug 2011 06:23 PM |
You, good sir, have a very big imagination. You would go do that if your town wasn't in the middle of no where. Numskull.
What now? |
|
|
| Report Abuse |
|
|
|
| 06 Aug 2011 06:25 PM |
Go outside and search furiously for the local corner store, for JAKE has no more bread
~f٥гﻉ√ﻉг™~ |
|
|
| Report Abuse |
|
|
Narmzor
|
  |
| Joined: 31 Mar 2011 |
| Total Posts: 1145 |
|
|
| 06 Aug 2011 06:26 PM |
| And then he takes the train to Atlantis to visit Elvis and Michael Jackson. |
|
|
| Report Abuse |
|
|
|
| 06 Aug 2011 06:26 PM |
Your apartment complex has a 24/7 free buffet. Screw bread.
What now? |
|
|
| Report Abuse |
|
|
|
| 06 Aug 2011 06:27 PM |
Go outside to feel the air.
~f٥гﻉ√ﻉг™~ |
|
|
| Report Abuse |
|
|
Narmzor
|
  |
| Joined: 31 Mar 2011 |
| Total Posts: 1145 |
|
| |
|
|
| 06 Aug 2011 06:31 PM |
You go outside. You spontaneously combust.
You are now the other guy.
Your name is LYLE. You have a variety of INTERESTS. These include, but are not limited to, FLOWERS, ALC.OHOL, and COMPUTERS. God we need some manly men in here. You're not one of them.
Today is your friend JAKE's birthday. You need to give him a hug. Or a birthday wish, whichever you prefer. What do you do? |
|
|
| Report Abuse |
|
|
Narmzor
|
  |
| Joined: 31 Mar 2011 |
| Total Posts: 1145 |
|
|
| 06 Aug 2011 06:32 PM |
| Go buy him a fish tank w/ fish in it. And a ton of political magazines. From Russia. |
|
|
| Report Abuse |
|
|
|
| 06 Aug 2011 06:35 PM |
Perfect idea!
You go to the store down the street and buy him a fish tank with thirty fish. Five of them died when you bought it. Oh well.
You didn't see any political magazines, so you just got a Hello Kitty comic book and a few magazines aimed at teenage girls.
God his birthday would be cool. |
|
|
| Report Abuse |
|
|
Narmzor
|
  |
| Joined: 31 Mar 2011 |
| Total Posts: 1145 |
|
|
| 06 Aug 2011 06:38 PM |
| Damn. I wanted the Russian Magazines... |
|
|
| Report Abuse |
|
|
Narmzor
|
  |
| Joined: 31 Mar 2011 |
| Total Posts: 1145 |
|
|
| 06 Aug 2011 06:38 PM |
| Oh and if you didn't know already, I'm FIRECAKE. My account will be back in a few days. |
|
|
| Report Abuse |
|
|
|
| 06 Aug 2011 06:47 PM |
You go over to his apartment to give him his present. The receptionist just threw him head first into the pool.
...
You ring up his apartment anyway.
What now? |
|
|
| Report Abuse |
|
|
Narmzor
|
  |
| Joined: 31 Mar 2011 |
| Total Posts: 1145 |
|
|
| 06 Aug 2011 06:48 PM |
Get hit by Dale?!?!
...
Fine. Ehh... Be chased around by rabid squirrels. |
|
|
| Report Abuse |
|
|