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Re: The Son of The Demon Lord (Story)

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River777 is not online. River777
Joined: 05 Apr 2010
Total Posts: 14638
26 Jul 2011 09:47 PM
~Prolouge~

It was a calm night in a suburb of Chicago. A slight breeze wafted over the rows of houses as the minutes ticked by. A young brown haired woman is sitting by a crackling fireplace, even though it's June, and there's no need for a fire. It's just before three in the morning and she's staring into the flames intently, as if see is expecting something. Then, as the electronic clock she has set to precision standard shows the time as 3 AM, a powerful lightning storm erupts as if out of nowhere. Slowly a smile spreads across her face. "He'll be here any moment now...." She thought. And in a matter of minutes, the flames of the fire turned midnight black. Slowly a tall man, with a mane of silver hair, and a concerned face stepped from the fire. He was holding a crying baby boy. The woman stood, and said, "Black? Not your usual color, Kouken. Isn't yours a deep purple?" The man named Kouken nodded and said, "It's the boy's. His Identity is overpowering mine, Silvia." Silvia's eyes narrowed, and shrugged, "I should've figured it would," She gestured outside,"He's strong enough to cause a storm, even here in the human realm." She chuckled for a second, and when Kouken looked at her strangely she explained, "Oh, you don't get the irony, he was born as three in the morning. And the funny thing is, three AM, is called The Witching Hour, or The Devil's Hour, in some circles." Kouken smiled, despite the constant crying of the baby. It was a bit funny. He sighed and said, "I suppose you know why I'm here?" Silvia nodded impatiently, and said, "Yeah, yeah. Let me see the baby!" She whisked the baby out of his hands and looked at it intently. It had a small covering of deep golden hair on it's head, and in the brief second it's eyes were open, she saw that he had bloody crimson colored eyes. "So this is what an Angel and Demon mixed baby looks like! Aww he's so cute! He'll look just like his mom! Except he has his dad's eyes!" She turned to Kouken and asked, "What's his name?" The man smiled and said, "Hitan." Silvia looked at the baby with renewed interest, "Aw, high little Hitan! I'll call you Hi, for short. Or maybe not." Kouken gave a short laugh and said, "That's not much shorter now is it?" Silvia turned on him and said, "So what?" Then she turned her eyes back to Hitan and said, "Hi, I'm your Aunt Silvia, little demon-angel boy! It's my job to keep you save from your half brother's and sisters!" But the baby had fallen asleep. She turned to Kouken once again and said, "Out, out, out you go! The baby needs sleep!" Kouken nodded sadly, he was reluctant to leave the child, and stepped back into the fire. Silvia walked towards a closet and said, "Come on little guy. Let's get you a crib. You'll need a save place to sleep."
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River777 is not online. River777
Joined: 05 Apr 2010
Total Posts: 14638
26 Jul 2011 09:50 PM
~Chapter 1: The Demonic Angel.~

"Come on, Hitan. I was only joking." Said a terrified boy, from the darkness of the corner. He was large and bulky, with a deep brown buzz cut. And in front of him, was a small, almost delicate, golden haired boy. Despite the difference in size, the larger boy was obviously scared, horrified even, of the boy in front of him. The casual observer may at the slight figured boy and, think, "Ah, he's so small for his age. He couldn't hurt anyone." Well they'd be wrong. Even now, on the boy's aristocratic, fine featured faced, burned an anger that would scare any normal person silly. Even in the darkness, his eyes seemed to glow like bright, crimson embers, glowering at the cowering boy.

"Shut it, Timothy." Commanded Hitan, in a surprisingly forceful tone. Timothy shivered at his words and said, "Please... I'm begging you! I'm sorry that I shoved you. Just don't hurt me!" Everyone had heard the rumor's about this almost angelic looking boy. The rumor's that he had the power and blackness of character, to harm whoever displeased him. But Timothy, the biggest fourteen year old in the class, decided that the rumors we're just plain crap, and decided to have a little fun with him. It started with slight teasing, that got no reaction from the boy, except dark, angry looks. This had kept up for a while, and Timothy was confident that no harm would come to him. Then one day, he took things too far. One day, while he was surrounded by a group of kids, popular and otherwise, he had decided to show off and prove that this tiny boy was capable of nothing. He shoved him. Hard. Hitan had fallen on to the ground with a hard smack, and had turned his body to glare at his attacker. Suddenly, at that moment, Timothy's stomach had turned to ice. There was something.... Strange about his gaze. Evil, demonic even. He had nervously laughed it off, thinking it was only a trick of the light or something. Then the next day, as he was walking down the hallway. A hand reached from the darkness of the janitor's closet, and pulled him in. And now he was here. Pleading with the boy who he had tormented.

Hitan reached out his hand and gripped Timothy around his neck, barely able to touch it because of his height. Though he did not squeeze, Timothy felt a hot, scorching sensation burning his throat. He decided to plead one last, desperate time. "Please! I have money!" He'd just gotten his allowance this morning and he had ten dollars in his pocket. Slowly Hitan licked his lips, "How much." He said. It was a command, not a question. "Ten dollars." Choked out Timothy. He could barely breath now. Slowly Hitan removed his hand and said, "Give it here." Timothy hastily fished the ten dollars out of his pocket and quickly pressed in against the smaller boy's chest. Hitan, smiled greedily marring his angelic features, "Alright, I think we're done here." When Timothy started for the door, he calmly said, "No more warnings." Timothy stopped and nodded wildly. He wanted out. Suddenly the door flew open and light flooded the closet, "Oh there you are, Hitan!" Said a woman's voice.
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River777 is not online. River777
Joined: 05 Apr 2010
Total Posts: 14638
26 Jul 2011 09:51 PM
~Chapter 2: The Seraph's Daughter~

Why does my father want to see me, Archangel Uragiri?" Asked Ruth, the daughter of Seraph Ai, as she was walking down a brilliant white hall, towards of staircase that glowed as if it was made of light. A male Angel with whom she was walking with, that appeared to be in his mid thirties, with dark shaggy brown hair, an unusual hair color for an Angel, and a stocky, muscular build, cleared his throat, "Seraph Ai, has made it clear that I'm not to tell you, as I may influence your judgment." Ruth frowned, "But, Archangel, you and my father are best friends. Why would he ask you to keep secrets from his daughter? It's not anything bad is it?" The Archangel gave a light laugh, like the sound of jingling bells, and he said, "No, of course not." Ruth frowned slightly, "But why-", she was stopped by the Archangel, as he said, "It'll all be explained." The two reached the staircase, which ascended in a spiral, and they began to make their way up it. Ruth could she her delicate frame, common of Angels, clearly in the white marble. At least she thought it was marble. It was polished so thoroughly to the point that she could she the smallest detail of her reflection, from the individual hairs, in her long blonde hair, to the light reflecting of her soft, blue colored eyes. She looked from her reflection to the Archangel ahead of her, and she couldn't help thinking, "With that body build and hair color, he sure doesn't look like an Angel. Come to think of it, his eyes are green. I've never met an Angel with green eyes." She berated herself a moment later, thinking, "Oh who am I too judge? It's not like I've met every single Angel alive. Who am I to say who is average and who is not?" After all, he wore the bright, white robes of an Angel, same as her. They were two of a kind. She looked at him again, and she remembered something her father once told her about Darien Uragiri, and before she could stop herself, the words poured from her mouth, "Father once told me that you wanted to be the Seraph." Archangel Uragiri, stopped suddenly, and said slowly, "Nicholas told you that did he?" Ruth froze. Had she said something wrong? But the sound of jingling bells came again, and she knew he wasn't mad, "Well, yes," He said,” I did want to be the Seraph at one time. You see after the former Seraph died, I had my heart set on being chosen as the new Seraph. We were both Archangels at the time, Nicholas and I, seated on the Angelic Council, which was in charge of choosing a new Seraph from it's ranks. Eventually, it was Nicholas who was chosen, not me. But that is a story for another time! Your father wishes to see you immediately" She nodded, smiling happily. She wasn't happy for any particular reason, se was simply one of those people who could take joy in anything. The two Angels reached the top of the staircase, and Uragiri knocked lightly on the door, and a soft call came from within, "Come in." Uragari pulled the door open and they proceeded inside. Ruth saw her father with his nose buried deep in an ancient-looking book, and she cried out happily, "Dad!" Seraph Ai, looked up from the book, a smile spreading across his face, "Ruth! It's good to see you!" He stood up and walked over to her, embracing her in a quick hug. Then he cleared his throat, "I'm sure you're bursting to know why you're here. So I'll just spit it out: How would you like to take a short trip with Archangel Uragari too the Human realm?" Ruth blinked in surprise. The Human realm? She'd never been out of Paradise, the Angel Realm. Not even to visit one of the minor realms. Now her father was up and asking her if she wanted to visit one of the Three Major Realms. It was so sudden and unexpected. However, she truly wanted to go, so she bit back her surprise and said, "Of course. But why? Why visit the Human Realm, Earth?" Seraph sighed, "Well, it's a long story." He turned and walked back to his desk, sorting through his things, as if looking for something. But he wasn't. Ruth knew this to be a nervous habit of his. "You know Archangel Hana, right?" Ruth sid, "Yes I do." Of course she new who Archangel Hana was. She was one of the few female Archangels, and she also managed to be one of the most prominent Archangels. Ruth looked up to her. The Seraph followed up with the question, "Did you know she has a son, around your age, maybe a little older?" Ruth gave a start in surprise. She had a son? How come she had never met him? "No, I didn't. Why have I never met him?" Both Archangel Uragiri and Seraph Ai shifted uncomfortably. Uragiri put forth an answer, "Well, he's.... Um, "special." Ruth frowned at this, and looked at Uragiri, "What do you mean by, "special". The Seraph sighed again and said, "Find a seat Ruth. It'll be a long story."
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jackrr is not online. jackrr
Joined: 03 Jun 2008
Total Posts: 9119
26 Jul 2011 09:55 PM
Is this a repost? GARY STU. Naw, I'm kidding. I like it.
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Brickguy58 is not online. Brickguy58
Joined: 14 Nov 2010
Total Posts: 7127
26 Jul 2011 10:02 PM
I crashed my plane into this giant mountain of epic!
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River777 is not online. River777
Joined: 05 Apr 2010
Total Posts: 14638
26 Jul 2011 10:05 PM
~Chapter 3: Why?~

~Chapter 3: Why?~

Hitan, and his Aunt Silvia walked out of the school in silence. Neither spoke until they were seated in Silvia's deep blue car. As soon as both were seated and the doors were closed, she asked, "So why were you threatening that boy?" Akun snorted, "He deserved it, that's why." Silvia let the conversation drop for a moment as she pulled out of the school parking lot. "Alright, I get that, but what did he do?" Akun stated plainly, "He's been taunting me lately, and he shoved me. So I decided to scare the crap out of him." Silvia sighed. It wasn't easy dealing with Akun, even though the two had built a bond over the years. "Hitan......" She started. But Akun stopped her, "I know, Aunt Silvia," He stopped for a second to shift himself into a more comfortable position, "I can't go around treating Human's like this. I've heard it before. But he seriously deserved it." Silvia had to sigh again. "Couldn't you have just let it go? No amount of teasing or shoving would hurt you. I know he could've punched you right in the gut and it wouldn't have hurt you. More likely it would've hurt him." She was referencing to the fact that Demon skin was incredibly hard. The only way a human could hurt it with his or her own physical strength was if he or she increased it with magic. "I know," He admitted, "But he needed to learn his lesson." Silvia smiled a little. There was no convincing him. "Same old Hitan." She thought. "Whatever, I'll let it slide this time. Anyway we've got more important things to talk about." Akun raised an eyebrow, "Like what?" He asked. Silvia coughed, "Well we're going to have, um...... Visitors." Hitan raised his eyebrows even higher, "Like who? Is Kouken visiting again?" Silvia nodded, "We'll have other visitors as well. Angels to be more specific. A friend of your mother." Hitan sighed. "Oh, well. What do they want?" Silvia let the question hang in the air for a moment.

"Your mother wants you to go to Paradise." She blurted. Hitan snorted, "No way in Hell." Silvia sighed with exasperation, "Please, Hitan, don't be difficult. It might be for the best." He raised an eyebrow, "How?" Silvia started, "Well you know, it might be a good cultural experience...." Then Hitan butted in saying, "Aunt Silvia, please cut the crap. Jut give me an honest answer." Silvia frowned ever so slightly; She loved Hitan like a son, but sometimes he wore her patience thin. "Your mother loves you and wants you to live closer to her." Hitan laughed coldly, "She doesn't love me! I barely she her, most of the time I get stupid letters from her. The best I can say is she's a better parent then Dad!" Silvia scowled, and she began to speak, her voice rising, "Hitan, she wants too make amends for that! You have to understand! You're an heir of both demon and angel blood! In the eye's of Paradise, that makes you about as good as a Fallen Angel! It's not like she had a choice!" Hitan didn't speak for a minute, but then he asked quietly, "Then why now?" Silvia's voice softened, and she said tenderly, "Because the Seraph has agreed to give you a chance, Hitan." Hitan moved in his seat and sat straight up, "Then I'd better not blow it."
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River777 is not online. River777
Joined: 05 Apr 2010
Total Posts: 14638
26 Jul 2011 10:06 PM
@jack

Yeah, it's a repost, I edited it a bit, changed some dialogue and a name around.
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Brickguy58 is not online. Brickguy58
Joined: 14 Nov 2010
Total Posts: 7127
26 Jul 2011 10:10 PM
I just sh*t my pants(not really) because this is so epic!
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River777 is not online. River777
Joined: 05 Apr 2010
Total Posts: 14638
26 Jul 2011 10:11 PM
Well thanks for the feedback. I started thinking about it again today, and I decided I'd repost it and make more chapters.
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River777 is not online. River777
Joined: 05 Apr 2010
Total Posts: 14638
26 Jul 2011 10:18 PM
Oh yes, in case anyone is wondering, the character of Ruth Ai is based off a character Bluecloud6606 suggested too me.
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River777 is not online. River777
Joined: 05 Apr 2010
Total Posts: 14638
27 Jul 2011 07:23 PM
~Chapter 4: The Human Realm~

Ruth cast her eyes to the moving road below her. "So what's this big, metal thing called again?" She asked Darien. He coughed and cleared his throat, "It's called a "car", Ruth. Human's move slowly on foot and they use these to get around." Ruth nodded, and asked, "Why don't they just use their Identities to move long distances?" Darien sighed. There was so much to explain to this young angel. Well, Ruth," He began, keeping his eyes on the road, "The majority of Humans don't have strong enough Identities to use magic, or even recognize Identities." Ruth sat in silence for a moment and asked another question, "Why are human Identities so weak?" They drove in silence for a moment as Darien began to think of an answer, "Well, I really don't know." It was a pitiful answer, but it was the best he could give. Human's weren't his area of expertise. But Ruth simply replied, "Okay." A few minutes passed by slowly, with only the noise of the car penetrating the silence. But then Ruth asked, "Why are demons evil?" The Archangel turned his head towards Ruth in shock. "Who told you that demons are evil?" He asked. She cast her eyes downward, "Archangel Genchi." Darien grunted angrily, "That old codger? He's nothing but a violent, old warrior who spews nothing from his mouth but unrelenting prejudice." Ruth looked up in surprise. She'd never heard Archangel Uragari speak like that. Especially not about another Archangel. He continued, his voice still hard and fierce, "Listen to me, Ruth. That man is lost in his own twisted mind. Do not ever listen to him." Ruth quickly nodded, "Of course not." Darien relaxed suddenly, "Good," He said, "Now let me tell you something. Not all demons are evil. It'd be like saying that all angels are kind and good. Archangel Genchi is proof of that. While it is true that demons are naturally more violent and predisposed to wickedness then the world's other beings, does not make all of them "evil". Do not fall victim to the prejudice that befalls many."
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River777 is not online. River777
Joined: 05 Apr 2010
Total Posts: 14638
27 Jul 2011 08:22 PM
Any comments?
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Brickguy58 is not online. Brickguy58
Joined: 14 Nov 2010
Total Posts: 7127
27 Jul 2011 09:31 PM
All the comments were used,see the list below.

comments:

THIS IS EPIC!

CONTINUE PLEASE THIS IS AWSOME!

tHIS IS SO GOOD I SAW THE REST OF MY COUNTRY SINK FROM THE EPICNESS

and etc.
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River777 is not online. River777
Joined: 05 Apr 2010
Total Posts: 14638
27 Jul 2011 09:32 PM
Honestly, I like criticism. Anything wrong with it?
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River777 is not online. River777
Joined: 05 Apr 2010
Total Posts: 14638
27 Jul 2011 09:41 PM
Anticipation~~~
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sox86 is not online. sox86
Joined: 01 Jan 2011
Total Posts: 1792
27 Jul 2011 10:04 PM
What about Hitan? In Chapter 3 his name was Ankun.
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River777 is not online. River777
Joined: 05 Apr 2010
Total Posts: 14638
27 Jul 2011 10:06 PM
This is a re-post. In the original, his name was Akuntenshi, but I decided that it wasn't a good fit, considering how it was based off the Japanese word for, "Evil Angel". So, I went back and changed his name too, "Hitan" which is, "Redemption". I must of missed one time where he is referred to as Akun.
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EdwardWorthensire is not online. EdwardWorthensire
Joined: 18 Jul 2009
Total Posts: 307
27 Jul 2011 10:08 PM
You said you cared about grammar when this story has no paragraphing. I'd help find your brain but I don't have a magnifying glass.
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River777 is not online. River777
Joined: 05 Apr 2010
Total Posts: 14638
27 Jul 2011 10:10 PM
ROBLOX won't accept my "Tab" key press. And honestly, I dare you to write something better.
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ShockingViekale5 is not online. ShockingViekale5
Joined: 05 Dec 2010
Total Posts: 267
27 Jul 2011 11:05 PM
I'm up for that Challenge, River.
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River777 is not online. River777
Joined: 05 Apr 2010
Total Posts: 14638
28 Jul 2011 01:32 PM
@Shocking It's a challenge to Ed. He's a troll.
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Spiderpig2398 is not online. Spiderpig2398
Top 25 Poster
Joined: 15 Jun 2009
Total Posts: 41248
28 Jul 2011 01:45 PM
[ Content Deleted ]
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River777 is not online. River777
Joined: 05 Apr 2010
Total Posts: 14638
28 Jul 2011 01:51 PM
@Spider

Dude, I'm a Disgaea fan. It's actually kind of based off Disgeae in a way, but only slightly. There's not as much absurd humor, though. Stupid filter, >.>
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Spiderpig2398 is not online. Spiderpig2398
Top 25 Poster
Joined: 15 Jun 2009
Total Posts: 41248
28 Jul 2011 01:53 PM
[ Content Deleted ]
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River777 is not online. River777
Joined: 05 Apr 2010
Total Posts: 14638
28 Jul 2011 01:54 PM
If you are that is very sad indeed.
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