raycerace
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| Joined: 01 Feb 2009 |
| Total Posts: 700 |
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| 26 Jul 2011 07:34 PM |
This is my first story.
There i was sitting in the barracks shining up my gun and all of a sudden **ALERT!**Large mass raid approaching** me:Alright men to defensive positions. UAF soldiers:Yes sir! Uaf soldier:Uhm...sir the Vaktovian Empire outnumbers us 4:1 we should retreat! Me: This is the motherland, i will die for it,if it comes to that. Citizen: Please open the gate let me in, there coming! UAFsoldier: No we can not trust you! me: That is a lie! Let him in. UAFsoldier:Yes sir! *30 minutes later* UAFsoldier:Sir! They have broken through the wall! me: I want all men at the break-in with shotguns,now! *Vaktovian soldiers break in from another spot* Vaksoldier:Alright were in! Vaksoldier:Shh! there is a whole group of UAF up ahead they dont know were in kill them! *Vak soldiers eliminate all UAF soldiers at the first break-in. Me: Soldiers! To the Bunker! *Vak soldier walks out of bunker with a pistol and shoots me in the leg* *Vak soldiers eliminate UAF soldiers* Vak:Tie raycerace up and bring him to the Base *I awaken hanging by me feet from the ceiling* me:*Spits out blood*Where am i? Vakguard:You are in the waiting room. me:why? what am i waiting for? vakguard:Your death. me:WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT!? vakguard:Down that hall is the execution room,thats your next stop. *I use my hands to reach down and grab my knife and cut the rope* *I get up and tackle the guard and stab him in the chest* me:*picks up pistol and points at guard* Tell me how i get out! vakguard:smiles me:whats so funny vakguard:your death me:im the one with the gun.. vakguard:im the one with the bomb*detonates* |
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| 26 Jul 2011 07:36 PM |
| Crap story bro, don't tell me again sometime. |
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raycerace
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| Joined: 01 Feb 2009 |
| Total Posts: 700 |
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| 26 Jul 2011 07:38 PM |
| Whatever. My crap story beats your no-story. |
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| 26 Jul 2011 07:43 PM |
@Ray
Sorry, forgot to say WHY it was crap.
It's crap because this totally feels like a propaganda story of you being all heroic and great. This also feels like it'll end with a completely shoddy ending about UAF being the best. |
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raycerace
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| Joined: 01 Feb 2009 |
| Total Posts: 700 |
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| 26 Jul 2011 08:33 PM |
| ....How is being blown up by a bomb heroic? |
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| 26 Jul 2011 08:44 PM |
| WHy did they want you to be executed? Why not ben? |
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raycerace
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| Joined: 01 Feb 2009 |
| Total Posts: 700 |
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| 26 Jul 2011 08:53 PM |
| Well its pretty simple, Its my story. |
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cyotex
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| Joined: 01 Nov 2010 |
| Total Posts: 2929 |
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| 26 Jul 2011 08:54 PM |
You only put UAF:
And Vak:
What about the names?
-[[Cyo]]- |
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| 26 Jul 2011 08:54 PM |
| What did the characters look like? |
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raycerace
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| Joined: 01 Feb 2009 |
| Total Posts: 700 |
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| 26 Jul 2011 08:56 PM |
| Well UAF looked like UAF and VAK looked like VAK. |
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| 26 Jul 2011 08:58 PM |
| But you gotta be more detailed. Like maybe on your way to the bunker you tripped over something and started to get gunned down my Vaktovians smoothly walking up to you knowing they had you pinned. Just then, right before The vaktovian pulled the trigger, I heard voises shouting. " For the motherland! " Then UAF dropped from the skies and saved me from a terrible death... Oooh what a story! |
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raycerace
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| Joined: 01 Feb 2009 |
| Total Posts: 700 |
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| 26 Jul 2011 09:41 PM |
| it was my first story, im sorry im not an author or anything. |
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