SgtWatts
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| Joined: 06 Aug 2011 |
| Total Posts: 618 |
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| 12 Jul 2011 07:05 PM |
[Chapter one] TIME: 12:47 AM DAY: Friday LOCATION: Vyyrahk City
Vaktus leans into his throne, stressed about how things are going. Then, DevilishPyro says "Emperor! he's here!". Vaktus leans forward in his chair, then says "Bring him in, this is a pleasure.". The gates screech open, as a man walks in, with a white hood, face covered with darkness. VAktus welcomes him saying "Well, isn't this a pleasure?". The man mutters quickly "Let's just get to the point Vaktus.". Vaktus leans back into his throne, and says "Well, I'd never expect you to come to my feet, Donkey". The man mutters again "That isn't my name... and, let's just get to the point". Vaktus says "Well, sure, let's get to the point, are you high ranks ready to train your troops for this situation.". The man said " I already mentioned this, I already got them ready.". Vaktus pleased says "Well, you work fast. May this attack work, this would be a great day for Vaktovia.". The man says "You forgot about the money...". Vaktus chuckles, and says "Ohhh! Forgot all about that, it'll be delivered into Celeste, also with the guns.". The man says, "Well I have to get going, we need to train my man quickly, this would be clan history". Vaktus in pleasure, stare are the man walk out.
Please post opinions, and Покидает в спешке, Товарищ = Lights Out, Comrade. |
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SgtWatts
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| Joined: 06 Aug 2011 |
| Total Posts: 618 |
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| 12 Jul 2011 07:12 PM |
| Please comment, I'm eager to see you reviews. |
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LordWolv
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| Joined: 29 Nov 2009 |
| Total Posts: 5862 |
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SgtWatts
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| Joined: 06 Aug 2011 |
| Total Posts: 618 |
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| 12 Jul 2011 07:19 PM |
| You stole my next chapter, now I have to wright a new one... |
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| 12 Jul 2011 07:20 PM |
"Vaktus in pleasure,"
SON I AM DISAPPOINT |
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SgtWatts
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| Joined: 06 Aug 2011 |
| Total Posts: 618 |
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| 12 Jul 2011 07:23 PM |
| How could you think of that Boostah. |
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SgtWatts
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| Joined: 06 Aug 2011 |
| Total Posts: 618 |
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| 12 Jul 2011 08:28 PM |
OH MY GOD. Is my story good enough to get copied? :o |
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SgtWatts
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| Joined: 06 Aug 2011 |
| Total Posts: 618 |
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| 12 Jul 2011 08:38 PM |
| Oh, I remember reading your story, and I didn't copy, I don't see whats the same... |
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SgtWatts
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| Joined: 06 Aug 2011 |
| Total Posts: 618 |
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| 13 Jul 2011 11:04 AM |
[Chapter two] TIME: 7:39 PM DAY: Saturday LOCATION: UAF's Patria
Thomasgray sits back into his lawn chair, siting outside of Patria. Thomasgray landed his hand on the small coffee table beside him, skimming it's surface for objects. Then he touched a large black object, what he was looking for. He picked up the walkie talkie and said, with static coming out of it "Clear. Also, SgtWatts, make me a lemonade while you still in there.". Thomas was staring into the sun set which has begun. SgtWatts was in Benblue's office, talking about the recent Admin Attack. Then, SgtWatts says "Eh, I would think the ad-". His walkie talkie says ""Clear. Also, SgtWatts, make me a lemonade while you still in there.". SgtWatts cheeks turn red, embarrassed. Benblue9 says "Sgt, it's OK, get him a lemonade, remember you Legislators comes first!". SgtWatts flees the room, into the lunch room, then spots Bbal getting water, he says "How was training those grunts, Jennifer?". Jennifer finishes drinks her sip of water then says "They aren't grunts, Sgt, they are recruits.". SgtWatts says being a smart butt "They are the same term, aren't they?". SgtWatts grabs a stereo foam cup, then pushes it agents the lemonade lever of the fountain. Then, a giant screech happened, they hit the ground, covering their ears. Then, a giant boom happened, then the lights went out, and a couple of supports went loose, and fell into the floor. |
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LordWolv
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| Joined: 29 Nov 2009 |
| Total Posts: 5862 |
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Grapthor
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| Joined: 25 Jul 2009 |
| Total Posts: 2715 |
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| 13 Jul 2011 11:20 AM |
| Make me a UAF dewd with a Dark Heart and Shadowsphere, @Wolv, Jou wish. |
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| 13 Jul 2011 11:29 AM |
Awsome, can I be in it?
]-FA5-[ |
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| 13 Jul 2011 11:31 AM |
| Awesome story. Vaktus dies in the end right?...RIGHT? |
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tunji099
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| Joined: 26 Mar 2010 |
| Total Posts: 1046 |
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| 13 Jul 2011 11:39 AM |
Nice. May I be in Chapter 2? |
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| 13 Jul 2011 11:43 AM |
| Oh also its epical then epic! |
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| 13 Jul 2011 11:46 AM |
| I Liked It The White Hooded One Was Obviously ColourTheroy (Used To Be Donkeyo4) The Leader Of Rat And It Was Very Descriptive So I Liked It |
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| 13 Jul 2011 11:47 AM |
HAI SGTTTTTTT
REMEMBER ME FROM X-101ST
AHAHAHAHAH |
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bidoof77
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| Joined: 27 Oct 2010 |
| Total Posts: 15041 |
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| 13 Jul 2011 11:59 AM |
| The storyline is good, but you have a LOT of work to do on your writing style and grammar. |
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| 13 Jul 2011 12:00 PM |
| Make me in the next one. I wanna be the one who dies to save others. :3/:D |
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SgtWatts
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| Joined: 06 Aug 2011 |
| Total Posts: 618 |
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| 13 Jul 2011 01:02 PM |
| Half of you that requested to be in was already going to be in it, also thanks for the advice, I'm trying to improve grammar, as I am fast typer. |
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SgtWatts
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| Joined: 06 Aug 2011 |
| Total Posts: 618 |
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| 13 Jul 2011 02:05 PM |
[Chapter three] TIME: 7:45 PM DAY: Saturday LOCATION: UAF's Patria
SgtWatts' spine was so stiff, he hit the ground so hard, it was all a blur. Bbal was up, dragging to SgtWatts feet, then, it all went black for him. His eyes shut, he stopped breathing. Bbal screamed "SGT! WAKE UP! PLEASE! WAKE UP!". Then she went into panic "PLEASE! I CAN'T SURVIVE ALONE OUT HERE!". Bbal fled the scene. Hours later, it was 9:24. SgtWatts' eyes open, all of the sudden. He screamed. He couldn't feel a thing. He prepped himself on his elbows. He was looking at his legs, they were both still there. He looked around, it was dark and blurry. A light flickered, then he noticed a rotting corpse. He was crawling, try to reach it. The ground was cold and hard. Tons of broken glass, it wasn't the Patria he knew. He got lifted his hand, trying to find something on the corpse, he felt something metal and small, a dog tag. He pulled it to his visual sight. Cpt. CabooseUGAN, he heard of this fellow. He flipped the body, to examine it, he notice it had burn marks, and smelled of napalm. He skimmed around the area for more, grasping things he could use. He found a golden 11M pistol with the name Caboose engraved into it; it was the body's. He shivered when he saw it, he unloaded the clip, to see how many rounds. Ten, ten to save his life if needed. He took it, and tucked it into his pants. He could feel his legs by now, he got up. he tripped, then got back up. He knew he had to navigate the base through the dark, he pulled out his guard flashlight; it was mostly used when he was on night shift. |
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