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Re: someone tell me how bad my essay is

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OrdinaryBearpanda4 is not online. OrdinaryBearpanda4
Joined: 08 Aug 2016
Total Posts: 11900
12 Nov 2017 06:53 AM
Why did the industrial Revolution happen and why did it happen in Britain

The industrial Revolution changed the world. Many new technologies and ideas were made and thought of. It was life changing to all the people in the time and also to the country. It has also benefitted everyone who lived after But why did it happen and why did it happen in Britain. In this essay I will be explaining
Why

One reason for the industrial Revolution happening in Britain is because of Imperial power. Britain had the strongest navy at this time which could be used to protect trade routes. This then lead onto people selling and trading aboard. People sold new technologies, fabrics and more around the world.This bought in spices from India ,tea leaves from China and t#######from America. At this moment in time the French thought you could only get more wealth through battling and conquering while Britain knew that you could extract coal and sell it around the world.

Another key element of why the industrial Revolution happened is because is new technologies. New technologies, such as the Newcomen steam engine, helped life, travel and many companies. Steam pumps pumped out the water from mines so people could mine deeper than before. Steam engines also helped travel as the steam engine was adapted to make steam trains. Businesses invested into new technologies which increased the business’s production. Everyday items such as buttons and weighing scales were made during this time.

Natural resources is one of the main reasons the industrial Revolution happened in Britain as Britain had a lot of coal which was easy to access as the seams were near the surface. Coal powered the industrial Revolution. Coal was the main source of energy as it produced 3 times more energy than wood. Coal was used in fires, steam engines and by blacksmiths. The uk also had iron which was used by many people to build bridges, steam engines and more.

Another reason is because of new ideas. Without ideas no new technologies would of been made. The government encouraged to people have new ideas and also encouraged the making of new businesses. People also talked to each other about their ideas. Societies were made where scientists talked and shared their thoughts. One of these societies was the lunar society which was founded in 1760’s. During this time, which was known as the age of reasoning, the toilet was made.

To conclude the main reason the industrial Revolution happened in Britain is because of new idea. This is the most important reason as people needed to have the ideas to do make everything. Without ideas there would be no new technologies, no one would of thought to make paved roads and the toilet wouldn't of been made
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Wjll is not online. Wjll
Joined: 22 Aug 2014
Total Posts: 2899
12 Nov 2017 06:54 AM
tldr lol but read ur introduction and if this is for english u need more sentence types


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OrdinaryBearpanda4 is not online. OrdinaryBearpanda4
Joined: 08 Aug 2016
Total Posts: 11900
12 Nov 2017 06:55 AM
It's for history

And thanks
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diligencies is not online. diligencies
Joined: 28 Feb 2016
Total Posts: 6732
12 Nov 2017 06:57 AM
ur sentences are way too short

fix tat

elaborate a little more

use transition words at start of sentences

example: "for instance" "furthermore" "on the other hand" "specifically" "in general"


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m0biusV2 is not online. m0biusV2
Joined: 12 Aug 2017
Total Posts: 5743
12 Nov 2017 06:58 AM
literally have to do the exact same essay what are the chances


add 18k posts ||| ๓໐๖iนŞ ||
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OrdinaryBearpanda4 is not online. OrdinaryBearpanda4
Joined: 08 Aug 2016
Total Posts: 11900
12 Nov 2017 06:59 AM
Dili thanks

M0bius nice
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appie8 is not online. appie8
Joined: 09 Jul 2016
Total Posts: 57084
12 Nov 2017 07:04 AM
i dont think you mentioned the fact that every day products plummeted in price due to the raised supply which was caused by mass production as a result of the industrial revolution

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OrdinaryBearpanda4 is not online. OrdinaryBearpanda4
Joined: 08 Aug 2016
Total Posts: 11900
12 Nov 2017 07:05 AM
Appie thanks I shall include that now
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appie8 is not online. appie8
Joined: 09 Jul 2016
Total Posts: 57084
12 Nov 2017 07:08 AM
its 1 of the reasons standards of living improved directly from the industrial revolution

higher productivity + cheaper products

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airwolf12 is not online. airwolf12
Joined: 02 Mar 2009
Total Posts: 12319
12 Nov 2017 07:09 AM
where did the ideas come from


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