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Re: Traveling to Space. (Story)

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SeptKill is not online. SeptKill
Joined: 12 Mar 2017
Total Posts: 65
13 Jun 2017 11:06 PM
Hello there, I am Jacob. I am about to go into Space to get to fix a satellite. Let me tell you why I am going there now.
When I was a kid, I always had dreams of going to space. I'd usually ask my friends about what would happen, they would always say. "Well you need to be an adult and to have a suit on that can let you live there."
So year after year, I started studying to go to space. When I was 20 years old I went and tried to get into NASA. Since I studied for very long I was able to get in. Then after around 2 years of training in NASA. I went on my very first mission to go to the moon.
When that happened I was very excited. So, then after some time they were ready to send me to space. I went into the rocket very nervous on what would happen. Hoping the rocket wouldn't fail. "Launching in T-Minus 10 seconds, ##### ###### ###### #### ##### ##### ###### #### ###### Lift off!" Then all my senses were tingling and the engines fired and I was going to space, alone. "Jacob are you alright in there?" They said on the radio. "Yeah, i'm alright." I said back. Then all of a sudden when I was 3000 miles away from the moon the engine sputtered and it stopped. *The Rocket Ship would stop and it would lose connection to the satellite because the satellite broke down from a meteor. "What just happened?" "Wait the radio! It's not working... What do I do what do I do!" *I would notice a satellite a few hundred feet away.* "Alright keep calm Jacob... I am by myself, with a probably 300 feet away satellite away from me, I can do this." *I would get a space suit on and then tie a rope within the rocket* "Alright here goes nothing..." *I would press the button that would burst me out into space.* "WOAH!!!" *I would fly off into space but the rope catching me* "Alright. Now it's time to fix the satellite." *I would grab the rope and get to the ship then I would use my feet to propel myself toward the satellite.* *I would then grab onto it pushing away the meteors.* "Hmmm, it seems as if the satellite is a bent so it cannot connect to Earth to my ship.." *I would move the satellite unbending it carefully so I don't break it* Then I would get to be unbent* "Alright, hopefully that worked.. Now I just need to get back to earth.." *I grab my rope and make it half way back to the ship before the rope starts ripping apart* "Oh no! It's ripping I better go faster!" I start going faster but I soon realize I couldn't stop it from breaking. *I would then be floating next to the ship in space without anything to help* *Starts hyperventilating* "SOMEBODY HELP ME!" *I would yell inside my suit but nothing happened since no one was there to help* *Starts trying to swim back to the ship but then it actually starts working a bit* "Errgghhh." *I would struggle getting back to the ship but I made it after a few minutes with my oxygen tank low* "Phew..." ### I close the door* "Now it's *breathes* to get home.." *I turn on the radio* "Help me please! I am stranded near the moon!" *Someone answers* "Wait Jacob you're there! God damn you scared the living hell out of us! What happened!" "The Engine was cut out and the satellite was bent so our connection couldn't be reached." "Alright we are sending a rescue team to get you." *Turns off radio* *After a one hour and thirty minutes a rescue team arrived, I wasn't too far from earth* Then I was safely put back to earth. And that is the story of how I fixed a satellite by travelling to Space.


(I hope you liked the story! Please tell me if you did like it.)
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GreekWarrior12345 is not online. GreekWarrior12345
Joined: 15 Oct 2016
Total Posts: 61
14 Jun 2017 12:50 PM
It's good for someone that just started. You could use better vocabulary, and you could use some paragraphs.
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NuclearBronco is not online. NuclearBronco
Joined: 26 May 2014
Total Posts: 1515
14 Jun 2017 12:52 PM
I enjoyed this story.

I think I am going to make a story as well.
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GreekWarrior12345 is not online. GreekWarrior12345
Joined: 15 Oct 2016
Total Posts: 61
14 Jun 2017 02:13 PM
Link it, I'll be sure to read it.


Ive created a story telling club. Yay.
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Wackywesley1203 is not online. Wackywesley1203
Joined: 02 Jan 2015
Total Posts: 11
14 Jun 2017 03:04 PM
VERY GOOD!
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SeptKill is not online. SeptKill
Joined: 12 Mar 2017
Total Posts: 65
14 Jun 2017 06:59 PM
Greek, thank you and yes you have.
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SeptKill is not online. SeptKill
Joined: 12 Mar 2017
Total Posts: 65
14 Jun 2017 07:12 PM
Thank you for telling me you liked it! I will make more! :)
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thenightowl1 is not online. thenightowl1
Joined: 22 Dec 2013
Total Posts: 1597
14 Jun 2017 09:04 PM
The story was rushed

Take your time in describing each object
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SeptKill is not online. SeptKill
Joined: 12 Mar 2017
Total Posts: 65
14 Jun 2017 10:48 PM
Thank you for the advice. It'll come in handy, but it was my first story so yeah..
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