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| 11 Jun 2017 01:16 AM |
I'll warn you in advance this is going to be a long post.
This post is targeted toward the main forumers of MT (you kn###who you are) and although I don't intend to offend I really don't care about what anyone else has to say so if you attempt to troll idc.
This is going to be hard for me to admit because displaying emotion isn't really my strong suit but I feel like I'm losing my mind here so here it goes:
So the problem here is that Im almost dying of absolute loneliness. I feel like I've developed no meaningful ############# in my life. Don't get me wrong here, I have friends. but they're (for the most part) the kind of friends that you see when you see, rather than the friends you talk to daily and make plans often with. I look at everyone else in my life and the relati#############developed with others and I realize that I don't really have that.
I never kept contact with anyone from High School, outside of the "happy birthday" messages I get on ######## that time of year. I counted ### ##### friends from before I dropped out of college. And one of them is starting to grow apart and the other lives an hour away so we barely hangout. She's also pretty introverted so when we do hangout it's almost always just the two of us, and she's never up to go out to events with a lot of people (which is almost always where I want to be).
See, now I'm a hyper extravert. I'm confident I could go 72 hours without sleeping as long as the person I'm talking to can hold a decent conversation. I'm always looking for new people to talk to. But I'm in a position in my life (out of school, working for minimum wage) where I'm not meeting anyone new. It's killing me.
The only people I have to talk to are my family, and we don't tend to get along very well (fundamental religious differences). I feel like the only time I'm able to actually be myself is around my coworkers at the pizza restaurant. I'm at the point now where even if I have just a 10 minute conversation with a stranger I consider the day a success.
I don't know why I'm posting this. It's probably because MT has been almost the only constant in my life ( which sounds super gay but idc right now [probably will care when the buzz fades]). I blew it off for a year or twoo but at the very least I know if I come back here people will at least act like they know who I am, and I'm not invisible.
And I know you'e all for the most part considerably younger than I am. And I know there is a sort of social stigma around posting this kind of thing here. But for God's sake I'm losing my goddamn mind and I don't know where else to turn because I don't want to scare off the only friend (or two?) I have left and I don't want to tell my family because they'll never let it go, and they'll probably make me go to therapy (which I don't need, trust me).
So I guess out of desperation I'm turning to you guys, hoping you won't lose all respect you had for me after this post, and I'm going to ask you for your advice on how to improve my life. I'm not looking for a Nobel Prize winning answer. All I'm looking for is an answer that proves someone else out there has heard, and actually listened to what I have to say.
Finally, I know this got very dark, but don't take it as a threat against myself. I do enjoy living, I just wish I had more people to share the experience with and it' really breaking me that I don't. |
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slow_dive
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| Joined: 07 Apr 2016 |
| Total Posts: 1764 |
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| 11 Jun 2017 01:59 AM |
i'm actually in a (somewhat) similar situation myself - being homeschooled, i have very few opportunities to socialise with people or even get out of the house outside of work, and those opportunities i do get to socialise with people at work don't really ever seem to go anywhere
have you tried seeing if your local library has any events going on? most of the libraries i've been to at least had a book club of some sort going on - i'd have to imagine that's a good way to meet people. and then there's also meetups (can't post the link on here but you should be able to find it if you don't already know what it is) which are a good way to meet people that share your interests
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| 11 Jun 2017 09:22 AM |
yeah cant relate im an extroverted introvert so im fine around people i just would rather hang with 1 or 2 people or by myselfl but back to you i would consider venting to your friends. they're your friends for a reason and i think they would listen. and if anything this thread made me have more respect for you, Lord Lobstery, and yes that is the first time i referred to you as such and yeah. public events sound cool. maybe not in a library. but like. somewhere else too. goodluck
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| 11 Jun 2017 09:27 AM |
got the same problem myself but i think it's self inflicted, hope you find some more irl friends lobstery <3
存在証明。 あー、shut up ウソだらけの体 完成したいよ ズルしたいよ 今、解答を 変われないの? 飼われたいの? 何も無い? こんなのボクじゃない! 縫い目は解けて引き千切れた |
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| 11 Jun 2017 09:28 AM |
Is that really you, Lobstrey? What's Corpsangy saying?
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| 11 Jun 2017 09:28 AM |
yea id be your friend irl but thatd be maybe kind of weird because of age difference but probably not really that weird
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Loyal2One
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| Joined: 24 Jun 2012 |
| Total Posts: 10155 |
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| 11 Jun 2017 10:27 AM |
i think i understand. i often feel pretty lonely myself
ive been longing for a friend with whom i can be open or just hang out with or relate to, but i am somewhat introverted and its hard for me to talk to people sometimes. i can be friendly and nice, but i get anxious when more than a few people are around, and even when its just one or two people, i am still a little bit. i feel like sometimes its difficult to start a deep and meaningful rltionshp
anyway, i dont really know exactly what youve been going through, but i think i might relate
we're all here for you if you ever wanna talk or something |
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| 11 Jun 2017 11:07 AM |
I cant offer advice but i'm in quite literally in the same boat as you. Ive got friends... like a whole 4-5 of them and i've always considered them great friends, we're all really close. But I feel like we've been falling away, or I have been falling away from them while they continue to stay close. Last night I got invited out to a bonfire, thats something the 5 of us have done almost every weekend for quite a while except this time they didnt think to invite me until 11:30 in the evening... im pretty sure they had been together all day. But I got my crap together and drove out there anyway, had fun for the most part and came back at the crack of dawn.
None of them really text me at all anymore (as if they ever did much), and I guess maybe thats because im not really talkative online, but it hurts to go for days, sometimes WEEKS without hearing from the people that I have grown closer to than my own family and my only social interaction besides work being thru the Roblox forums of all places. That really hurts.
As cliche as this sounds, I wish I was with them more because they pretty much keep me going. I cant say i'd stick around if it weren't for them, I dont have a lot to want to stick around for besides them. They are my outlet too. I'm not a happy person, I can go out and laugh and have fun, do the stupid #### that young people do, but then i'll probably go home and cry right afterward. My best friend is really good about listening to my feelings, I dont even need to bring them up because she'll just straight up ask if im doing ok. When she's not around then im completely alone with no one to speak my mind to when sometimes all I need is for someone to just hear what im going thru.
But hey, we all got each other HERE so that's good. We all go thru the same stuff together. |
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| 11 Jun 2017 11:18 AM |
Theres actually alot of simple ways to gain friends, As in becoming a regular at social places such as bars and cafes, people would obviously try and have a conversation with you if they see you there pretty often, When my dad goes out drinking he usually talks to anyone and hes even befriended my college lecturer and dentist when at a bar. So I guess that works.
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| 11 Jun 2017 11:22 AM |
| Wanna go to Anthrocon with me? |
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| 11 Jun 2017 12:17 PM |
jeez, we're all lonely introverts
存在証明。 あー、shut up ウソだらけの体 完成したいよ ズルしたいよ 今、解答を 変われないの? 飼われたいの? 何も無い? こんなのボクじゃない! 縫い目は解けて引き千切れた |
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Loyal2One
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| Joined: 24 Jun 2012 |
| Total Posts: 10155 |
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| 11 Jun 2017 01:33 PM |
| homestly you all are some of my best friends |
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| 11 Jun 2017 01:34 PM |
just like tonightless said, go out to a bar or cafe or something and talk to people. or identify an interest and research how to meet people with similar interest, like going to clubs, making a band, different jobs, online, etc.
like for example, I like horror so I got a job at a haunted house thing last year and made lots of good friends there, since they liked the same things I did. I even met my current girl there too.
also when I feel lonely I'll go out on a walk or drive somewhere, go somewhere in nature and relax. |
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Loyal2One
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| Joined: 24 Jun 2012 |
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| 11 Jun 2017 01:36 PM |
really those are good tips i heard one girl who was depressed and living alone and started volunteering at an animal shelter and it helped her a lot |
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| 11 Jun 2017 01:40 PM |
"homestly you all are some of my best friends"
the same goes for me, all of you are really cool people
存在証明。 あー、shut up ウソだらけの体 完成したいよ ズルしたいよ 今、解答を 変われないの? 飼われたいの? 何も無い? こんなのボクじゃない! 縫い目は解けて引き千切れた |
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| 11 Jun 2017 01:42 PM |
yeah I volunteer for my towns historic society and food pantry now & it's really good for you & the community :^)
plus it's really good to get involved in things you're passionate about too, instead of being a miserable tomato all your life |
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slow_dive
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| Joined: 07 Apr 2016 |
| Total Posts: 1764 |
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| 11 Jun 2017 02:18 PM |
"homestly you all are some of my best friends"
<3 |
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| 11 Jun 2017 02:35 PM |
I go to the bookstore every week to play chess, (like a nerd) and I've met some cool people there.
If I were as rich as you, I could afford some grammar. |
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| 12 Jun 2017 10:35 AM |
Thanks a lot guys, I appreciate the element of seriousness here since I know that doesn't happen often. I'm mostly fine now, I just have moments every so often where this happens and I need to vent my frustrations to someone.
I'm at a position now where my "happy place" is at work. It's not a fun job by any means, and I'm making just above minimum wage (but I just got a raise so thats pretty nice), but I love going because I feel like I can be myself around my coworkers, and they all actually like me. I have family, too, but I don't really talk to them because we have a lot of...fundamental differences. We're civil, but I hardly get to be who I actually want to be when I'm around them.I work a dead end job and it's the part of every day I look forward to. Once my shift is over it's back to nothing.
I just went on vacation, and that's sort of what set this off. I had a friend who was supposed to come with me, but bailed a few weeks in advance so I just went on my own since I already bought the tickets. It was fun, but looking around seeing everyone with their friends having a good time was sort of isolating.
I'm hoping things should start looking up soon. I've decided to look into performing at open mics, although I'm not confident in my guitar skills, I've been told I have a great voice. Me and my friends used to go to those all the time and I always saw people talking to the performers after their turn. I'm also going to work on greeting strangers. Not in a creepy way, I'm just sick of going somewhere and everyone is always staring at the ground in front of them and nobody makes eye contact with others. I'm going to start asking people how they're doing while we're in line to get coffee or something.
Again, I appreciate all the replies and help, and sorry to throw this on here like it's a therapy forum. Like I said, I'm a hyper extravert, and when I don't talk to anyone I lose my mind for a little. |
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captc
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| Joined: 12 Feb 2013 |
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| 12 Jun 2017 11:33 AM |
sucks that you're feeling so alone. You'll always have a place with us though.
I'd suggest doing what i do to meet new people, since you sad you're an extrovert, just go up and talk to random people. If they reject you its on them.
but hope you feel better in your pc home!
i's gre'at but in arab'ic™ |
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| 12 Jun 2017 11:57 AM |
@cap
Do you really just walk up to strangers and start talking to them? I'm going to try to do that more, but it seems like so many people just can't be bothered. |
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| 12 Jun 2017 01:43 PM |
for me music schools gave me like all my good irl friends give that a spin
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| 12 Jun 2017 02:42 PM |
| i have no friends pl0x follow |
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captc
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| Joined: 12 Feb 2013 |
| Total Posts: 8688 |
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| 12 Jun 2017 03:39 PM |
"do you really just walk up to strangers and start talking to them? I'm going to try to do that more, but it seems like so many people just can't be bothered."
yeah, sometimes not 100% of the time but i'll randomly start talking to people i dont know.
i's gre'at but in arab'ic™ |
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| 12 Jun 2017 05:36 PM |
| Being lonely seems bad at ###### But then I realised. You don't need to take any B S from other people and live with less consequences |
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