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Re: OT Mind helping me?

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Katherinae is not online. Katherinae
Joined: 12 Feb 2014
Total Posts: 4201
04 May 2017 05:11 AM
I'm making a text persuading an audience on why we should focus on rehabilitating our prisoners and focusing on, for when they get out, to give them a home, find them a job ect.

I started it off like this :

Prison. What are your first thoughts when you hear that? A place full of dirty criminals, a place where you don’t want to end up?

just help me continue on because im brain dead

tl;dr writing a text about rehabilitating and focusing on prisoners, needs help.


siggywiggywiggy
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SpaceMohawked is not online. SpaceMohawked
Joined: 24 Jan 2015
Total Posts: 12418
04 May 2017 05:13 AM
tip: make it interesting with a twist


never go with the usual way, it could bore the audience
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Katherinae is not online. Katherinae
Joined: 12 Feb 2014
Total Posts: 4201
04 May 2017 05:13 AM
example?


siggywiggywiggy
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Katherinae is not online. Katherinae
Joined: 12 Feb 2014
Total Posts: 4201
04 May 2017 05:17 AM
this is my first mini paragraph

Prison. What are your first thoughts when you hear that? A place full of dirty criminals, a place full of dumb minded people? Well, what if it’s the system that’s failing them, not themselves.


siggywiggywiggy
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SpaceMohawked is not online. SpaceMohawked
Joined: 24 Jan 2015
Total Posts: 12418
04 May 2017 05:19 AM
uhhhh


*insert some story about a prisoner going through bla bla bla boom boom pow after her release, and now she's rich*
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SpaceMohawked is not online. SpaceMohawked
Joined: 24 Jan 2015
Total Posts: 12418
04 May 2017 05:20 AM
Yeah that's a good start, people would surely want to know how the system is failing them
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Katherinae is not online. Katherinae
Joined: 12 Feb 2014
Total Posts: 4201
04 May 2017 05:20 AM
k


siggywiggywiggy
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Katherinae is not online. Katherinae
Joined: 12 Feb 2014
Total Posts: 4201
04 May 2017 05:22 AM
thanks for the sarcasm












im going to add a story about how a prisoner is left by the system, is abused inside the prison, comes out, no job, no home, no nothing, can't really get a job because no one wants to hire an ex-con? left to die on the streets, but they know that their is food and shelter in the prison, or they need a desperate attempt for money, they commit a crime and land back in there.


siggywiggywiggy
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firedfighters is not online. firedfighters
Joined: 28 Nov 2015
Total Posts: 21
04 May 2017 05:24 AM
you should change that to laying the death penalty or torture on all prisoners

>no chance of committing a crime again
>slowing down overpopulation
>lowering crime rate - less police needed, less government funding which can be otherwise put to other things like education


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keuns is not online. keuns
Joined: 28 Mar 2016
Total Posts: 5587
04 May 2017 05:27 AM
thats not even a paragraph


legalize marinara
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Katherinae is not online. Katherinae
Joined: 12 Feb 2014
Total Posts: 4201
04 May 2017 05:28 AM
holy crap
hell no @fired

and i make a story about a prisoner
then go about to say how disgusting the system is
blah blah blah
blah blah blah
blah blah


siggywiggywiggy
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waterIiIy is not online. waterIiIy
Joined: 07 May 2011
Total Posts: 12081
04 May 2017 05:29 AM
the story should end with a big explosion and lots of fireworks to make it extra convincing


swamp girl
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alphabeticaccount is not online. alphabeticaccount
Joined: 01 Jun 2014
Total Posts: 342
04 May 2017 05:37 AM
Prison. What are your first thoughts when you hear that? A place full of dirty criminals, a place where you don’t want to end up? let me work with this : Well, in reality prison is chock full of people who truly want to turn over a new leaf, but our punishment just spurs them on to commit crimes. Again and again. Not exactly dirty criminals, eh? rn its night ## ## ##### and I'm half asleep and honestly OT isn't homework help.
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alphabeticaccount is not online. alphabeticaccount
Joined: 01 Jun 2014
Total Posts: 342
04 May 2017 05:38 AM
FORMATTING

Prison. What are your first thoughts when you hear that? A place full of dirty criminals, a place where you don’t want to end up?

let me work with this :

Well, in reality prison is chock full of people who truly want to turn over a new leaf, but our punishment just spurs them on to commit crimes. Again and again. Not exactly dirty criminals, eh?

rn its night and I'm half asleep and honestly OT isn't homework help.
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firedfighters is not online. firedfighters
Joined: 28 Nov 2015
Total Posts: 21
04 May 2017 05:41 AM
that's actually a lie, you're saying all prisoners want to improve

most criminals are on the run before they're caught, they only want to "improve" to get out earlier

i don't think you understand humans


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alphabeticaccount is not online. alphabeticaccount
Joined: 01 Jun 2014
Total Posts: 342
04 May 2017 05:43 AM
yea
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Katherinae is not online. Katherinae
Joined: 12 Feb 2014
Total Posts: 4201
04 May 2017 05:50 AM
Your words against mine
but the system is crap, and in my opinion, they should focus on connecting the prisoners with an activity which they love.


siggywiggywiggy
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firedfighters is not online. firedfighters
Joined: 28 Nov 2015
Total Posts: 21
04 May 2017 05:50 AM
stealing
murdering
rapping
assaulting


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Grimsis is not online. Grimsis
Joined: 01 Jul 2012
Total Posts: 3848
04 May 2017 05:51 AM
you can also think for yourself but ok
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keuns is not online. keuns
Joined: 28 Mar 2016
Total Posts: 5587
04 May 2017 05:52 AM
spitting hot fire on a beat is such a crime


legalize marinara
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Katherinae is not online. Katherinae
Joined: 12 Feb 2014
Total Posts: 4201
04 May 2017 05:56 AM
Ugh whatever.

But if you have a different opinion from mine then their is no use helping me through this problem.

And I should mention I didn't have a choice about writing this


siggywiggywiggy
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