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Re: Unforgotten Tales: A Most Unusual Idea

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owningnoobs76 is not online. owningnoobs76
Joined: 21 Nov 2008
Total Posts: 3579
21 Feb 2017 03:22 PM
Insanity is an very uncommon attribute to have, but often one of the most fun ones. What better way to have your craziest ideas come to fruition?

Out of all the insane characters in URealms, I would consider the top contender to be several of the Barringsters, specifically Trandon Barringster, whose best moment shows up while climbing the Tower of Ultimate Wizardry. But not in ### lava room, no. This time, ### four elves find themselves on ### eighth floor, which is full of green pipes, and they're trying to figure out ### easiest way to rescue one of their friends, Joaquim, from one of ### pipes he fell down. It's at this moment that Trandon comes up with his best idea yet.

"Ah, crap," was the exact moment Trandon's master plan came to mind. "I have an idea. I don't like this, but I don't have a better idea."

"What are you gonna do?" the pirate witch, Rhedmun, asked.

Trandon sighed. "He can't see anything, correct?" Rhedmun nodded in response. "So we can't put down anything that he could see. However, if he could hear it, then we would know that that pipe went down to that room."

The ###ee paused shortly to consider the ###a around them, and Buford, the ###g######vy-looking bard with a feathered hat and gun arm, quickly counted out the ###nty pipes surrounding them.

"How, uh... how many pot puppies do we have?"

"Um, like, four...?" Rhedmun guessed, unsure of what to settle on. "Five? Six?"

"Oh, six. Okay. So we need twenty things to throw down there. So, we need to cut them into quarters, okay?" As the Barringster said this, Rhedmun's expression turned to shock.

"W-what!?" the nervous elf exclaimed. "What!? Are you serious?"

"I'm not happy about this, but what else do we have to do? If we take ### pieces, and we throw them down there, and he hears ### thunk, then we'll know that that pipe, therefore, goes down to that room. When we throw something down there and he doesn't hear a thunk, we know it at least goes somewhere else. We can then mark off which of those go to those other places, and we'll have a better idea of where we need to go."

"But, you'd have to kill the puppies!" Rhedmun exclaimed once again.

"I mean, not Antson, but the others, yes." Considering how the###ocess would be done, Trandon continued, "Oh, and we have to cut them apart, so it's not just the###lling, it's- we have to quarter them."

"I mean, I can't argue with the idea," Rhedmun replied, "but I can argue with the killing the puppies?"

"Good news, good news. Actually, we can just... cut the puppies in half and we can also use the pot that they come in. So that's less cutting we have to do."

After a little more shocked gasping, Rhedmun asked, "Buford, do you have any opinion on the puppy cutting?"

Buford, with drawn-out "Uhhhh"s and "Aahhh"s, considered any other options they might have. "I, I can't think of a different way...?"

"Hey, guys?" A voice could be heard from the ###rest pipe, which the ###o had shoved Joaquim into several minutes back. "Are you coming down or what?"

"I can't get down there!" Buford responded.

"We're working on it!" Trandon followed up. "Hold on, we got some ideas brewing up here."

Shortly afterwards, Joaquim hinted at the use of one of Buford's spells, Disguise, to which Rhedmun realized, "Oh, what if he turned into a bird and flew back up the pipe with him? Like an eagle."

"I don't think birds are that strong," the gun-player said.

"But he's an old man now!" Rhedmun responded. "I've seen eagles carry off old people before."

"H- Hey guys!" the pipe voice began to speak. "The lights turn###### ###... I don't see any pipes. So I don't really know where you guys would come from."

Rhedmun briefly wondered how Joaquim could hear the three, but quickly brushed off the thought. "I-I don't wanna admit it, but Trandon, your puppy idea is probably the only thing you've got."

"You're gonna cut a puppy in half!?" Rob, the GM, interrupted under light hysterical laughter. "Which one?"

"Why- uh, how many puppies do you need?" Buford finally asked.

"We'll start with yours, and then we'll figure it out from there," Trandon decided.

"No, no, no," the bard quickly responded, shaking his head. "Start with Rhedmun's. He's got a ton of 'em."

"I mean, I'm not really, I didn't even name these guys," Rhedmun mumbled. "I don't mind."

"Oh, good!" Trandon said excitedly. "I mean, I named mine, cause I'm not a monster, but, y'know, that's your problem."
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owningnoobs76 is not online. owningnoobs76
Joined: 21 Nov 2008
Total Posts: 3579
21 Feb 2017 03:23 PM
Rob stops ### table to interrupt, "Chat wants to point out that Roamin (Trandon) can summon wooden marionettes. Did you know that, Roamin?" The red paladin didn't, but he nodded anyway, so Rob continued, "Alright, that's okay. Roamin already knew; he was just being quiet about it.

"I like MY puppies," Roamin emphasized, and the others agreed about this as well.

"Well, maybe I can keep one?" Rhedmun asked with waning hope in his expression.

"Alright, here's what we'll do," Trandon laid out. "We'll do ### first three, we'll see how many more pieces we need, and we'll go from there. Now, they have to be a decent size so they actually can get through the pipe system, and also make, y'know, a thunk or splat."

"There's so many things you could drop other than puppies," Rob said. "I don't understand."

"I give Roamin three of my f##r puppies," the ###leton, Deadbones, decided without a second thought.

"Why???" Rob's voice was a higher pitch than before. "Why would you do this?"

"Because I'm not gonna say no to him!"

"Good point. Another great suggestion was just gold coins."

Deadbones began pointing out the group's lack of money before Roamin informed them that "I can conjure money by just using shield (Ruby Press), which I haven't been calling Rob out on because I don't really care."

"Yeah, but puppies," the skeleton responded. "Roamin's set on the whole puppy thing."

"Alright, Roamin's insanity has caused him to decide that the only way to check these pipes is to chop puppies up and put them in," the GM announced. "He's convinced the beta to agree with it. Justin is not okay with it, but as long as they're not his puppies..."

"It kinda reminds me of the old days of watching Roamin, the haze..." the bearded guy, Justin, thought. "Watchin' him torture you."

Roamin grabbed one of the ###e pieces and described, "I am just going to basically just tip them over on their side," after which he made a chopping motion and sound.

"Alright. Three dead puppies. You cut them up into nine puppy pieces." After looking at the ###e dead pieces on the ###rd, Rob decided, "Let's just say you got twenty puppy pieces just so you don't have to kill any more puppies."

"We're going to slowly do them one by one, we're going to lay them down," Roamin outlined.

"Did you really kill all three puppies at once and then...?"

"To be fair," Roamin thought, "in hindsight, that might not have been the best idea, but Trandon was VERY excited about the puppy idea."

"Alright. You take some of the pieces, and you drop one down the first pipe here, Roamin." After a small pause, Rob moves the piece and continues, "Then it pops out of another one." At this, the three players burst into intense laughter. "As you drop it, almost, like, five seconds later, some puppy guts come spewing out of the pipe."

"What the hell!?" Rhedmun exclaimed. "Oh no! I knew it... I knew it!" He turned to Trandon. "He got the wrong pipe! If it had been any other pipe, he'd have been fine!"

"Justin takes his hand and he goes, 'Wait a second, I thought all these pipes were the same.' He starts rubbing the pipe that Coe went down, and there was apparently some coding on it," the GM reveals. "That pipe is different. That was a different colored pipe that Coe went down. Justin goes around rubbing all the other pipes to see if any of them are different. They're not.

"Roamin isn't a hundred percent certain on this, so he goes around taking some more of the puppy bits, dropping them down pipes for them to pop out of other pipes. He does this until he tests every pipe in the room, and the room is just flooded with different... puppy... pieces, and pieces of pottery that have been spit out by the pipes. It looks like an absolute massacre." While Rob is describing this, Roamin struggles through his fits of hysterical laughter.

"We killed three puppies for no reason," Rhedmun said.

"Not for no reason," Trandon corrected. "For science!"

"We could've just put one down alive and he'd have been fine!"

"Then we would've been down one puppy. What if we needed more parts?"

"No, he would have come out fine!" Rhedmun began to argue, his voice rising.

"Well, we didn't know that."

"But... we should've-"

"I just want to point out that you're the one that wanted to dump Joaquim down the pipe so quickly," Trandon interrupted in a cross tone. "I had nothing to do with that."

"Because I thought this would happen!" Rhedmun began to shout. "I thought he'd come out of a pipe!"

_________________________

Well, that's all I've got for this one. If you want more, you're going to have to check out the fifteenth campaign of URealms Live, the Tower of Ultimate Wizardry, yourself.

Anyway, what do you think of this whole dialogue deal that I've managed to write out and describe?
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owningnoobs76 is not online. owningnoobs76
Joined: 21 Nov 2008
Total Posts: 3579
21 Feb 2017 04:15 PM
Part of the many reasons I keep pushing the whole 'random attribute' thing all over the place.
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Henrypika is not online. Henrypika
Joined: 22 Dec 2013
Total Posts: 6727
21 Feb 2017 05:09 PM
Well uhh... That's one way to do it. - Henry

Excuse me while I go barf. - Katherine
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owningnoobs76 is not online. owningnoobs76
Joined: 21 Nov 2008
Total Posts: 3579
21 Feb 2017 09:03 PM
As crazy as Trandon seems, he's nothing compared to the poster child of UR Live, Phineas Barringster, a young but very powerful Cabalist.

Yet his deeds are so terrible that they would never see the light of day on this forum.
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owningnoobs76 is not online. owningnoobs76
Joined: 21 Nov 2008
Total Posts: 3579
21 Feb 2017 11:24 PM
One more time and then I think Trandon's spent enough time up on the front.

You're welcome to provide me with feedback if you want!
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