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Re: Why I HATE Sloths

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theninja94upgrades is not online. theninja94upgrades
Joined: 29 Jul 2013
Total Posts: 925
18 Jan 2017 09:45 PM
Sloths are the most horrendous animals in the world, and I can explain in more than eleven paragraphs why I hate them so much. They're lazy, uninteresting, and slow(physically and mentally)! They're a waste of space, I don't wanna see them in my face, I wanna them out of our place, I wanna hit them with a mace. Worst of all, they took up three minutes in Zootopia!
Okay, imagine a stereotypical fat guy as your roommate. He eats up all of your Oatmeal(and other snacks), walks very slowly, and is straight up lazy. You just want him outta there. Sound familiar? Sloths too eat up all of the plants, move very slowly, and are also straight up lazy. You know what I'd do if I wanted my roommate out of my place? Talk it out. But since sloths can't listen, you know what I'd do if my roommate didn't listen? Kick him out.
They look ug(over-sensitive filter)ly. Plain ug(filter)ly. They have an identity crisis! First off, they have these giant claws that just don't fit on 'em, a nose that looks like a dog, a mouth that looks like a koala bear, and a pair of eyes that looks like the Devil's.. That leads to second off, their identity crisis. Are they a dog, a bear, a koala, the devil, or a raccoon?
Also, sloths took up three minutes of Zootopia! Did I say that before? The movie was gonna get a 100% on Rotten Tomatoes, but due to the sloths being so slow and boring, it bored us and instead of actually making me like the movie more, it made me like it less.
Thanks sloths! You guys make films boring. Sloths should never be in films or planet Earth, they're boring!
Sloths are uninteresting creatures. Have you ever willingly researched information about a sloth because you simply wanted to? I don't see the attraction. Speaking of attractions, I went to a zoo, which had five or six sloth cages that I've seen. I didn't see anyone in the cage, and keep in mind, this place was filled to the brim, with people. Meanwhile, the tilapia(the most boring fish) had people covering it so much that I couldn't see it at all. You know why? Because sloths aren't interesting at all.
Sloths also sound annoying. Have you heard a sloth when it'd open it's mouth? It sounds like those people that do those high-pitched screams for no reason at all on my bus, and my guinea pig's voice is less annoying than that! Girls, stop complaining about getting your ears pierced hurts unless you heard a sloth, because I got mine pierced the last time I went to the zoo!! Tape their mouths shut (un)hopefully they can breathe through their noses.
Sloths don't do anything, either. This ties into the "they're uninteresting" paragraph. In Google Images, I searched up "sloth" and I only saw them laying down, or hanging on trees. Do something else! Something interesting and unique! This is the reason your cage doesn't even have a single person.
Sloths are straight up weird. They only poop and pee once a week, and do it in the same place every time. They only gather to mate, too! I mean, all of them are introverts? Talk to one another! If they're hanging on a tree branch before they die, when they die, they'll still hang onto it after death! If you love that tree branch so much, then why don't you do it? If you can get a tight enough grip on that branch, you can do something interesting.
Game Freak made a Pokémon for sloths. Because sloths are so uninteresting, the Pokémon Slakoth is uninteresting too! This is NOT Game Freak's fault. They couldn't even make a sloth interesting, they just had no idea how to make Slakoth a good, interesting Pokémon. Pokémon is my favorite game, was a complete 100% until this. Now it's a 9.5/10, like Zootopia. I blame the sloths!
Sloths aren't food, either! It's illegal to hunt them in Brazil(for some reason), and I bet they don't even taste good. If you can't be cute, interesting, hard-working, good-looking, strong, or crap more than once a week, you can at least be tasty or fill my tum tum. I bet you sloths don't even taste good! I did a quick Google search, no restaurants that sell sloths. Hit me up @theninja94 on my twitter if you found a restaurant where you can eat sloth. If not, sloths suck even more.
Well, that's my reasons sloths suck. If you can disprove any of these reasons, I'd like to see you try. Your chance at failing is Zootopia's raiting, so please don't try to defend these disgusting, lazy sloths. Sloths are dumb, uninteresting, ignorant animals with an identity crisis. If you have a sloth as a pet, kill it, release it, or kill them and eat 'em. Too much cash and space wasted for you to be having a sloth as a pet. If you do go to the sloth cages at the zoo, why? I see nothing in them, they're not cute, they're dumb, and they just lay around, which is not what I go to the zoo for! I hope you're now convinced why sloths suck.
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lightning9160 is not online. lightning9160
Joined: 16 Jun 2011
Total Posts: 5732
18 Jan 2017 09:47 PM
Could you further elaborate on your points?


please do not do that -- add 2k
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Assassin_Dog is not online. Assassin_Dog
Joined: 19 Mar 2016
Total Posts: 1549
18 Jan 2017 09:48 PM
You have a problem. As for being slow. You try eating only Cecropia tree leaves for your whole life.
You'll slow down to preserve energy

Secondly, opinion. And Zootopia was a joke on the sloths... where's ur humor

XD
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theninja94upgrades is not online. theninja94upgrades
Joined: 29 Jul 2013
Total Posts: 925
18 Jan 2017 09:49 PM
FURTHER? This rough draft shall be remade by March 7th, 2017.
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bboopoop is online. bboopoop
Joined: 04 Dec 2011
Total Posts: 11610
18 Jan 2017 09:50 PM
sorry ill be far too busy looking at 4k sloths on my switch by march 7th
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theninja94upgrades is not online. theninja94upgrades
Joined: 29 Jul 2013
Total Posts: 925
18 Jan 2017 09:50 PM
####### I'm sorry but I don't like intended slowness for a joke that lasts three minutes oyea by the way the Zootopia part's satire
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Altspiring_Dev is not online. Altspiring_Dev
Joined: 09 Jul 2016
Total Posts: 217
18 Jan 2017 09:56 PM
I read the whole thing.
Why?
Why did I read it??
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theninja94upgrades is not online. theninja94upgrades
Joined: 29 Jul 2013
Total Posts: 925
18 Jan 2017 09:57 PM
^ You were just interested.
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eTempest is not online. eTempest
Joined: 23 Jul 2011
Total Posts: 3704
18 Jan 2017 09:57 PM
sloths are literally the best creatures ever
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LordSupreme387 is not online. LordSupreme387
Joined: 24 Dec 2013
Total Posts: 593
18 Jan 2017 09:57 PM
>Sloths are straight up weird. They only poop and pee once a week, and do it in the same place every time. They only gather to mate, too! I mean, all of them are introverts?
>introverts

Uhh.... Almost everyone on OT is an introvert and there's nothing wrong with that.
Your just jealous that we can be independent, you piece of doodoo.
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MyPWisRule22 is not online. MyPWisRule22
Joined: 27 Dec 2015
Total Posts: 3194
18 Jan 2017 09:57 PM
im so sleepy
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theninja94upgrades is not online. theninja94upgrades
Joined: 29 Jul 2013
Total Posts: 925
18 Jan 2017 10:03 PM
Extroverts can talk to people without draining their glands so we the superiors


But then again, that's off topic
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theninja94upgrades is not online. theninja94upgrades
Joined: 29 Jul 2013
Total Posts: 925
18 Jan 2017 10:14 PM
@eTempest But how
I'd explain my reasons why they suck, but...
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Guan_Yin is not online. Guan_Yin
Joined: 05 Nov 2008
Total Posts: 27857
18 Jan 2017 10:20 PM
/r/copypasta
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theninja94upgrades is not online. theninja94upgrades
Joined: 29 Jul 2013
Total Posts: 925
18 Jan 2017 10:22 PM
if you make this a copypasta ill kill u
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theninja94upgrades is not online. theninja94upgrades
Joined: 29 Jul 2013
Total Posts: 925
18 Jan 2017 11:46 PM
someone's tryna make this a meme in rt
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MyPWisRule22 is not online. MyPWisRule22
Joined: 27 Dec 2015
Total Posts: 3194
18 Jan 2017 11:46 PM
i have a feeling you are anti-social
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1BattleTank is not online. 1BattleTank
Joined: 03 Apr 2013
Total Posts: 306
18 Jan 2017 11:49 PM
my zoology exam is going to be smooth this week
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MyPWisRule22 is not online. MyPWisRule22
Joined: 27 Dec 2015
Total Posts: 3194
18 Jan 2017 11:49 PM
stop
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MotionlessBodies is not online. MotionlessBodies
Joined: 21 Jul 2014
Total Posts: 4638
18 Jan 2017 11:51 PM
can u make this more simple 2 read
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theninja94upgrades is not online. theninja94upgrades
Joined: 29 Jul 2013
Total Posts: 925
19 Jan 2017 12:00 AM
Simplified versions? Honey, I'm twelve years old. If a dumb twelve year old made this you can read it
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Assassin_Dog is not online. Assassin_Dog
Joined: 19 Mar 2016
Total Posts: 1549
19 Jan 2017 11:56 AM
What about roaches OP? Are they a useless, space taking pest?


Sloths are actually home to many bugs, and there poop is where those things eggs are laid. Things are more useful than you think
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goldmaster784ALT is online. goldmaster784ALT
Joined: 28 Jul 2012
Total Posts: 14450
19 Jan 2017 12:00 PM
what did i just read
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TheFantasticBaconMan is not online. TheFantasticBaconMan
Joined: 05 Jun 2014
Total Posts: 300
19 Jan 2017 02:04 PM
A masterpiece
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TheFantasticBaconMan is not online. TheFantasticBaconMan
Joined: 05 Jun 2014
Total Posts: 300
19 Jan 2017 02:04 PM
I'm OP by the way
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