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| 18 Dec 2016 08:11 PM |
To be a punk rawker, you need to listen to lots of My Chemical ######## TOP, Asking Alexandria, Bowling for Soup, Sr71, Blink-182, and Sum41. If you want to spike your hair, make sure the spikes are no longer than 4" or you're a poser. Also dye your hair blonde. If it isnt blonde, you're a poser. If you want a mohawk, be sure NOT to shave your head...just use gel to put all your hair in a mohawk. Or if your hair is too long, just put a little of the middle up, and let the rest hang down. Stay away from weird colors. These mean that you are a poser. Also, you need to wear band shirts of bands you don't even know. This will make you seem "plugged in" to the music culture. Now its time to go get some skate shoes. These will show everyone that you mean business, and you are punk. Make sure your skate shoes are name brand and make sure they cost at least $70. Once you have those, you need to start a punk band. Make sure you do lots of Bowling for Soup covers, and soon you will get noticed. If you get offered a major record label, TAKE IT. You don't want to be poor and starving in the streets, do you? Ok now that you have a major record label, play whatever the record company tells you to. If you do this, you are punk. You have to buddy up with band members from Bowling for Soup and Sum41 too, that will make you really punk, to have punk friends. Also remember that that the guys who go around in tight pants and have mohawks are just posers. They will try anything to be punk. They try to make people think that punk is more than just fashion, but punk is about being mainstream and looking good. They also give you all that "punk is a way of life" nonsense. Who do they think they are fooling? They always complain and whine about how things were better back in the 80's when punk meant something, but back then it wasn't half as popular as it is today, so they should be thankful that everyone can be a punk now.
Things to avoid when you are a punk:
Studded clothing (leather jackets, vests, etc...) These are for posers...it's ok to have a studded belt though...just look at Avril Lavigne.
##### Posers love to wear tight pants (jeans or plaid). Those are only OK if they're from Hot Topic. If you don't like the look then be sure to get all your pants from Abercrombie and Fitch, or if you want to be really hardcore punk then wear Dickies. Most real punks wear Dickies.
Shoes Most posers wear poser combat/army boots or hightop Converse. Army boots aren't cool, unless you were in Nam, like me. I still don't wear boots though because people will think I'm a poser and I really care about what people think about me, and so should every other punk. Stick to sk8er shoes. You are only punk if you spend $70 or more on your skate shoes.
Socks You HAVE to wear short socks that don't cover your ankle. If your shoes don't completely cover your socks, or your socks go above your ankle, you're a poser.
Mohawks Unless you have the socially acceptable mohawk (no shaved sides), you are a weirdo. Shave mohawks and other weird hairdos say "Hey im a weird weirdo", and other punks won't like you. So stick with socially acceptable hairstyles...not too long, not too short, it can be dyed or spiked as long as you don't go overboard.
Piercings It's ok to have a bunch of ear piercings, but don't get them in the tongue or nose, because that's for posers.
Skateboarding Skateboarding is for posers, so don't do it, just pretend like you do. Real punks don't skateboard, but you need to get a pair of skate shoes, and if you ever make music videos with your punk band, put skateboarding video clips in there to gain popularity at the expense of the skateboarding subculture...hey punk is supposed to be mainstream, so shouldn't skateboarding be too? Also if you are talking on the internet to your punk friends and you happen to strike up an intelligent discussion about skateboarding, be sure to spell "skate" as "sk8"...it makes you look really really cool...like Avril.
Thrift stores Only poor posers shop at thrift stores. Besides, all the clothes are dirty. Be sure to get all your clothes at HoT ToPiC. Or if you want to go for the vintage look without actually wearing your clothes for a long time, buy them at Abercrombie.
Non-conformity If you arent like every other punk, you arent punk....simple as that. You need to get skate shoes and stay away from weird hairdos and hats.
UNDERGROUND PUNK MUSIC I can't stress how important it is to avoid this. you NEED to be mainstream. Underground "punk" is another reason those posers think they're punk. Don't let yourself become a poser. Punk is about being popular and mainstream, so DO NOT listen to underground "punk". Stick with REAL punk bands like Bowling for Soup, Sum41, Sr71, Blink 182, Simple Plan, Good Charlotte, and New Found Glory. If it's not on the radio, it's not punk. Even if you've never heard a song before, you can usually tell if it's punk or not by the style. Remember, any music from the 80's and late 70's is NOT PUNK. If it sounds exactly like every other punk song, and it's about girls or breaking up, then it's punk. If it sounds stupid and grungy and fast with raspy voices, then it's probably a poser band...especially if they are singing about oppression and anti-capitalism and such nonsense. Just turn it off...it's poser hogwash.
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Loyal2One
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| Joined: 24 Jun 2012 |
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| 18 Dec 2016 08:26 PM |
I just started an alternative punk band and this seems 100% accurate
I'll never get board of chess puns! | LOYAL2ONE |
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| 18 Dec 2016 08:33 PM |
| @loyal if you read the entire thing youd realize that this is the exact opposite of my opinion |
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captc
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| Joined: 12 Feb 2013 |
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| 18 Dec 2016 08:49 PM |
as a pop-punk singer this is 100% true
User-Generated! | Branded As: Rock | Boop | Dr Pepper Expert |
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Finn102
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| 18 Dec 2016 08:50 PM |
| this is the opposite of punk |
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captc
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| Joined: 12 Feb 2013 |
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| 18 Dec 2016 09:00 PM |
^lol
liar.
this is exactly how 2 b pnuk
User-Generated! | Branded As: Rock | Boop | Dr Pepper Expert |
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Loyal2One
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| 18 Dec 2016 09:18 PM |
"@loyal if you read the entire thing youd realize that this is the exact opposite of my opinion"
lol poser
I'll never get board of chess puns! | LOYAL2ONE |
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| 18 Dec 2016 09:21 PM |
| ##### thats the point, this entire post is irony and a calling out to posers |
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Finn102
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| Joined: 19 Feb 2011 |
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| 19 Dec 2016 01:08 AM |
punk is an attitude honestly if you call someone a poser you're kinda not really punk/you're trying too hard |
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| 19 Dec 2016 02:53 AM |
| Take a shot everytime he says posers |
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| 19 Dec 2016 11:21 AM |
| That'd probably cause Liver Failure. |
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| 19 Dec 2016 01:09 PM |
"##### thats the point, this entire post is irony and a calling out to posers"
this post is how to be trve pop punk, don't be a troll
"punk is an attitude honestly if you call someone a poser you're kinda not really punk/you're trying too hard"
found the poser
Five more minutes mom, I'm talking to my toxic internet friends about whose music tastes are superior. |
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Loyal2One
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| Joined: 24 Jun 2012 |
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| 19 Dec 2016 01:32 PM |
"##### thats the point, this entire post is irony and a calling out to posers" i know thats why i called u a poser cause u dont follow the rules in this post
I'll never get board of chess puns! | LOYAL2ONE |
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