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| 26 Sep 2016 02:47 PM |
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=omyPkVrEmaU
Yass.
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javalord1
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| Joined: 17 Feb 2009 |
| Total Posts: 5694 |
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| 26 Sep 2016 02:54 PM |
| Pretty bad, actually. Not a good beat in the ########## It's like you're not een rapping with the bad beat. There's some auto-tune(don't do that.) Your lyrics are pretty bad. "do you wanna rumble, bro I'm king of the jungle, bro ... Listening to ####### call it jay's addiction" |
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javalord1
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| Total Posts: 5694 |
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| 26 Sep 2016 02:57 PM |
Y'know.
Rap should be an expression of yourself.
Look at Kevin gate's earlier stuff.
And stop trying to pack as many pop references in your song as your possibly can. |
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| 26 Sep 2016 03:00 PM |
OP watch this before making another mixtape https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H6iefP8lf3o
you dropped your riggy in my siggy |
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javalord1
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| Total Posts: 5694 |
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| 26 Sep 2016 03:00 PM |
And y'know what. I didn't even hear your hook, did you have a hook?
If you did it had no presence. |
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javalord1
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| Total Posts: 5694 |
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| 26 Sep 2016 03:01 PM |
| And that wasn't a mixtape. A Mixtape is more then one 3 minute song. That's called a single. |
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javalord1
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| 26 Sep 2016 03:06 PM |
Did you make the beat? Or did you sample?
This is how you sample:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J7IMwop3RHs
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WrsfJHLx5YA
In the future make your own beat, or sample something better. |
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javalord1
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| 26 Sep 2016 03:11 PM |
| I'm not telling you not to rap. Just make your own beats/do it better. Keep doing it for practice. And don't fill your contents with endless references, that's not lyrics, that's writing an episode of family guy. |
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| 26 Sep 2016 03:15 PM |
Thanks for the actual feedback javalord
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javalord1
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| 26 Sep 2016 03:16 PM |
| No problem, keep at it and it'll be great. |
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| 26 Sep 2016 03:17 PM |
I made my own beat once, like in this one https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pXSifzXZRkU
And I'll try to make up some better lyrics, lol
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| 26 Sep 2016 03:18 PM |
"OP watch this before making another mixtape https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H6iefP8lf3o"
filthy frank fan ew
OP thinks he's so smart when his stupidity is so stupid it actually borders intelligence |
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| 26 Sep 2016 03:19 PM |
@francis of the filth fan I just do this as a hobby, and when im bored. I'll get a job anyways (if my rapping does'nt make a living)
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javalord1
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| 26 Sep 2016 03:22 PM |
The beat is significently better. But it could use work. The build up before you actually start rapping is too long for what the beat is. The lyrics are hard to hear/understand in it. There's also no Iambic Pentameter, which you should practice with and learn how to do. You can do interesting things with it.
Again. You need a to work on hooks, as in... Having a hook at all. At all. And warping your already hard to understanding lyrics, is a no-go.
Sampling too much, and its story is all over the place.
It's not very cohesive, y'know? |
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