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| 31 Aug 2016 05:15 PM |
1. In school nobody cared about me. I was never rude or mean to anyone.
2. Random people would hurt me, whether it was shoving, pushing, throwing stones or apples and multiple people outright stalked me home to insult or hurt me. I never reacted much to it, but they continued to do it.
3. People I didn't know would bully me in class, one girl would throw staplers and other blunt objects at my head, then would come to the front of class and start punching me in the face. The teachers did nothing.
4. My family fell apart and a lot of bad stuff happened at home, I was forced out of my house and we had to stay with relatives.
5. I had deadlines everyday I couldn't keep up with on account of my attention deficit disorder, I tried so hard to work but I could never concentrate. The teachers piled on me enforcing constant stress and a sense I would disappoint everyone.
6. After all this, I began to get afraid of the world and judgement, so I would stay indoors for weeks and be scared to walk outside my house or talk to a person.
7. Finally, the last straw was when I broke down in a lesson and began to cry and nobody tried to support me.
That was it, I decided at that point that enough was enough. I would never be accepted by society, but why should I change? How could society, which rides so highly on having "humanity" and "empathy" do this to a person? The very people who would post on social media about the horror of bullying and depression would subject people to it or ignore people suffering from it.
Every since that point, I've gotten a lot better, I stopped caring about how people thought of me and I can no longer empathise with other people. I feel an overwhelming hatred for humanity because of what people subjected me to, I often burst into disproportionate anger or depression because I suppressed my feelings emotions for years and years. Every choice I make doesn't take into account the feelings of other people unless necessary and I justify it by the fact that they allowed for such terrible things to happen.
People now see me as a nice, friendly person, but inside I am the opposite of that. If they ignore me, or backhandedly insult me, I destroy their reputation silently and cause them emotional pain. I won't lie; hurting others feels good. |
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| 31 Aug 2016 05:19 PM |
t h e r a p y
"He who strikes terror in others is himself continually in fear." |
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MrsNoobjr
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| Joined: 24 Jun 2015 |
| Total Posts: 9543 |
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| 31 Aug 2016 05:29 PM |
| I self loathe myself constantly but this is crazy |
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