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| 09 Aug 2016 01:46 AM |
this is an original by me, the literary genious PaleFOlkore this is shipping Beast boy and Original Character
(i wrote this in like 15 mins at like 1:30 am so dont judg me pls!!!! i wrote from my heart)
so this is...
The Beast and the Darkness That Is Not Raven
As Beast Boy contently watched the sunset from the window of his messy bedroom, he pondered on his departure with Terra, and why she could not remember their relationship, or perhaps she simply couldn’t. He reminisced on all the great times they had spent together, the ferris wheel, their first kiss on the ferris wheel, the fair, the cotton candy, things like this. The simple things in life. The next day Beast Boy was anxious to do something with his friends, who were all occupied with tasks at hand, too busy to spend time with him. Feeling neglected, he ventured off alone, his hunger bringing him to the local pizza place. He spotted two girls eating and he approached with pulsing heart eyes. As he attempted to flatter them and pull his patented moves on the girls, he fell (the details aren’t necessary and have been left out to avoid embarrassment on his part.) Naturally, this resulted in retreat. He went elsewhere. Walking on the side of the road he briefly spotted a dark figure on an adjacent rooftop, it disappeared with a shimmer. Slightly unsettled, he walked on to an unknown destination. Shortly after going around another street corner he spotted the shadowy figure again, who disappeared into air a second time. This is when Beast Boy shifted into a pterodactyl and returned to the Titans Tower. This time Beast Boy sat on the rocky shore of the bay, this time thinking of the figure he had seen. Numerous questions sprung into his head; who was it? What was it? But even such an event could not completely take his mind off of Terra. Beast Boy was sad again. “You’ll find another girl.” a voice said beside him. Beast Boy jumped, surprised. Sitting beside him was the shadowy boy from earlier. He wore a flowing black cloak and armor that appeared similar to the Nightingale Armor from skyrim. Beast Boy played a lot of Skyrim. The boy had a similar mask as well. He was armed with a Stygian dagger and bow, with equally dark arrows. “You’re attractive. You’ll find another easy.” he said again. Beast Boy blushed at the comment, and the overall absurdity of the situation, another boy calling him attractive. Beast Boy thanked him and asked his name. He said his name was Nevar, and dissipated into darkness again. The following day was uneventful. Beast Boy sat in his room playing video games as usual on these days. At the most inconvenient time, while he was battling Miraak, a piece of paper flew in through his window. On it read meet me at the abandoned opera house. Curious, Beast Boy turned off his Xbox and flew to the location. On his arrival he heard the sound of a piano, it was the unmistakable melody of Pachelbel’s Canon in D, his favorite piece. Nevar was playing, unmasked, his hood off. His ebony black hair flowed in the air as his fingers brushed over the keys, as if on the ethereal plains of heaven. The lower harmony played the same beautiful eight notes on an endless loop. When the piece ceased, Nevar gazed at Beast Boy amiably. He blushed, flustered by his messy black hair and the stubble of his matching facial hair. He looked like a mess. A beautiful mess. But this was ridiculous, Beast Boy was straight. But nonetheless, he felt flustered in the presence of shadowy boy. He approached Nevar, staring deeply into his eyes, and he pulled him in for a kiss. It was the greatest kiss he had ever experienced, better than those with Terra. His eyes rolled back at the sensuality, melting into Nevar’s strong arms. The following day was eventful. There was a some low life robbing the bank, so the Titans were out to stop him. When they arrived the alleged low life was a twenty foot tall robot with giant metal pincers. It easily took out the Titans, and they were soon at their knees in defeat, when came Nevar who teleported (with the power of shadows) to the scene, and in one blow of pure darkness the robot’s defeat befell, disintegrating into nothingness. Nevar was shouting at the fallen robot, screaming don’t touch him get you’re hands off my beast boy! The sky darkened as he did this. The Titans stared at him in shock, Beast Boy especially. Nevar looked embarrassed and vanished. Beast Boy returned to the abandoned opera house to look for Nevar. They needed to talk. He found him backstage crying. Beast Boy asked what was wrong, and, struggling to steady his voice, Nevar said “I…. just love you so much.” And with that Beast Boy embraced him in his green arms and grinned his toothy grin, ears pointing, and said I love you too. Beast Boy was completely over Terra now. He found a new lover. Here was the only place he wanted to be, In Nevar’s arms, forever.
<333 tell me if u want a sequel!!! im glad to write another
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Yozoh
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| Joined: 18 Jul 2014 |
| Total Posts: 1250 |
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| 09 Aug 2016 02:00 AM |
I'm sorry but I had a few complaints/questions...
1. I have no clue who the characters that you used for this fanfic are... so a little description would be nice. 2. Can you describe Beast Boy's appearances? 3. Who is Terra? What's her character's background, other than being Beasty's ex? 4. Why did Nevar smooch Beast Boy after just their 2nd encounter? Why would Beast Boy just meet up with a stranger @ a abandoned opera house? Smells like murder to me
My reaction: Well that escalated quickly.
Rate:1/10 It was confusing and you could've done a bit better with character development. In no way am I attacking or discouraging you from continuing your fanfic. I'm just giving critique so hopefully your next sequel won't be as bad as this one. Don't expect people to know the characters that you're talking about, please be more descriptive of them next time. |
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| 09 Aug 2016 02:17 AM |
| obviously u have never seen teen titans -_- |
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Yozoh
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| Joined: 18 Jul 2014 |
| Total Posts: 1250 |
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| 09 Aug 2016 02:19 AM |
seen a few episodes, but that was so long ago- until the new refined Teen Titans turned into a poop hole
either than that i dont care much for the cartoon ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ |
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Andrej128
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| Joined: 06 May 2015 |
| Total Posts: 512 |
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| 09 Aug 2016 10:42 AM |
| https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=EenIXVoALmU |
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| 09 Aug 2016 11:03 AM |
| both of u get the heck out of my home |
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| 09 Aug 2016 02:35 PM |
shut up yozoh
if i could slap you right in the mouth i would |
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| 09 Aug 2016 03:19 PM |
@yozoh Go watch Teen Titans, it's a great show.
I think a sequel of this would be interesting. Tbh everything in this happened too fast so maybe in the next one try to fix that. |
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| 09 Aug 2016 04:04 PM |
you're right it did
but i wanted to keep it short, wasnt sure of the text limit on these posts or even if there is one
also: keep in mind i did this in like 15 mins at 1:48 am when i could not even see Straight™
i will write a sequel it will be terrible but good |
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| 09 Aug 2016 04:32 PM |
''also: keep in mind i did this in like 15 mins at 1:48 am when i could not even see Straight™''
That's really immpresive. I can't even imagine how good your fanfiction would be if you wrote it when you weren't tired. I bet it would've been the best fanfiction to be ever written on a lego subforum!
Being serious, I bet it would've been really great. :) |
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| 09 Aug 2016 04:41 PM |
oh thanks i do write a bit though. i have a few short stories, nothing that's completed that im super proud of though, just rough drafts. working on 2 finals, they are long but i can post them when im finished, one's about 12 pages, the other's going to be maybe around 20 or so
also yohoko or whatever ur name was: and this goes for anyone:
Y 👏 R 👏 U 👏 Reading 👏 👏 Beast 👏 Boy 👏 Teen 👏 Titans 👏 Fan 👏 Fic 👏 If 👏 U 👏 Have 👏 Nevar 👏 Read 👏 Teen 👏 Titans 👏 |
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Yozoh
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| Joined: 18 Jul 2014 |
| Total Posts: 1250 |
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| 09 Aug 2016 04:58 PM |
"shut up yozoh"
y u a triggered 9 year old
"@yozoh Go watch Teen Titans, it's a great show."
Again I've only seen a few episodes in the past and thought it was decent. I rarely watch TV anymore and I don't really want to invest my time into the show. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
"both of u get the heck out of my home"
You should be more appreciative that I even took my time to read your trash & give critique. |
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| 09 Aug 2016 05:08 PM |
u r right im sorry
just the first 3 questions felt ridiculous considering the fanficition is based off of the tv show, and would be answered in full if the reader has already seen the show, which is assumed because it is fanfiction, ya know?
there fits the previous post Y 👏 R 👏 U 👏 Reading 👏 👏 Beast 👏 Boy 👏 Teen 👏 Titans 👏 Fan 👏 Fic 👏 If 👏 U 👏 Have 👏 Nevar 👏 Read 👏 Teen 👏 Titans 👏
beast boy's appearance is in the show. right there on the tv screen. boom u know what he looks like now. ok
terra and beast boy's history is literally part of the show. which u did not see the entirety of.
the characters are beast boy and original character. the description of the original character is in the fanfiction.
:/ |
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