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| 26 Jul 2016 05:57 PM |
Just made my first Sad Story video based off of a true story, it might not be the best, but I tried at least! :) Make sure to give feedback so I can improve!
Link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pK_-QoD-3wI |
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rockloin
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| Joined: 12 Dec 2010 |
| Total Posts: 715 |
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| 26 Jul 2016 06:31 PM |
I'm sorry if this is true but the video in question. Bad quality.I'm not even kidding.
1.Music,you don't start off a sad story video with a sad song.Maybe a song that has an ambient feel and transitions into sadness or another sad song. Do not and I mean DO NOT use sad songs with lyrics.Completely remembers you that this is a video and distracts you.
2.She has no reason to be on the sidewalk would be fine and a drunk driver could've hit her while she was walking away.
3.Animation was a bit slow and was horribly suspenseful.Feels like a minute before she said "AH!" and he actually came to help.Make it more "Springy" like she is walking away from the guy but the guy sees the car coming and screams,um you didn't even tell us the name.But he springs into action saving her but getting run over in the process.
4.At the start they both had sad expressions for no reason.Give us a reason why they're sad.They watched a move the night before and then they are sad?The guy goes from happy to sad,that doesn't make sense.
5.Literally the most generic plot ever,you might think seeing someone get run over and someone crying might make us feel sad..... but the problem is we are complete strangers to the people why would we ever cry for them,I'm not heartless of course it would be horrible if someone got killed but I would feel even worse if it was someone I knew.We don't even know their names.
6.At the start the video said "One night". The background represents it being day time.
7.One of the biggest problems is the ending.So the nurse left the body in the road and it took them 1 week to figure out he's dead?Or maybe you were trying to go for them coming to her and saying that he's dead.Which wouldn't make sense for 2 reasons.
1:The nurse is standing in front of the home while the girl is on the sidewalk.It would make better sense if it was the girl at the door and the nurse telling her from outside the door. But even that wouldn't make sense.Why?
2:It wouldn't make sense because why would the nurse go to her house to tell her?And most likely the nurse or any hospital officials wouldn't be calling her because they would most likely call the guys family.It would make sense if the family member was telling her hes dead but that doesn't create a good enough ending.What would make it better is her coming to see him in the hospital and him passing away then.BUT THAT STILL DOESN'T MAKE SENSE.WE HAD NO TIME TO BE WITH THE CHARACTERS SO WE COULDN'T CARE FOR THEM. Also the fact the girl stayed in her house and didn't go to see him at all after he SACRIFICED his life for her is stupid.I'm pretty sure she would always be visiting.
The ending messages was meh,especially because we don't have connection with the characters so how could we know their more than friends?
Overall it was very cheap way to get some tears from you.
I think I am being to harsh but you did want to improve. |
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rockloin
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| Joined: 12 Dec 2010 |
| Total Posts: 715 |
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| 26 Jul 2016 06:32 PM |
| What I mean by true is that if it's a true story. |
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rockloin
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| Joined: 12 Dec 2010 |
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| 26 Jul 2016 06:37 PM |
| That HAD to be a joke, right? |
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rockloin
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| Joined: 12 Dec 2010 |
| Total Posts: 715 |
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| 26 Jul 2016 06:39 PM |
Which the video or my long list of problems with the video?
Because I'm not joking.
This is the laziest sad story I've ever seen. I gave constructive criticism to help this guy. |
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| 26 Jul 2016 06:41 PM |
| No the video, I'm not trying to be mean but that was the funniest thing I ever saw. |
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rockloin
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| Joined: 12 Dec 2010 |
| Total Posts: 715 |
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| 26 Jul 2016 06:43 PM |
| The fact it was trying to be serious was just to cringey. |
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rockloin
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| Joined: 12 Dec 2010 |
| Total Posts: 715 |
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| 26 Jul 2016 06:44 PM |
| Oh god he's online.He's going to expect good reviews but than see me and hate me forever. |
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| 26 Jul 2016 06:46 PM |
| The fact that it was tryna be serious wasn't cringey.. It was straight up HYSTERICAL. |
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| 26 Jul 2016 06:46 PM |
| Thanks for the feedback, I know this is not that much of a good video, but its my first one. I'll be making different videos soon. |
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| 26 Jul 2016 06:48 PM |
| I won't hate lmao, I enjoy seeing people bash my videos sometimes, it just shows me I need to work on editing and etc. :) |
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| 26 Jul 2016 06:49 PM |
| It's not the qualilty of the video, it's the video in general. Look cuhz, don't try to make sad Roblox videos. They'll end up looking generic and cliche. Cute stories every once and a while is okay. But don't try to get deep when it comes to this. |
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rockloin
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| Joined: 12 Dec 2010 |
| Total Posts: 715 |
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| 26 Jul 2016 06:52 PM |
I used cringey instead of hilarious because I didn't want to look more like a jerk. But here you go the 2 of the perfect videos in reply to this one
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ztVMib1T4T4
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_n5E7feJHw0 |
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| 26 Jul 2016 06:55 PM |
| Yeah the second one sums it up perfectly. |
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rockloin
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| Joined: 12 Dec 2010 |
| Total Posts: 715 |
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| 26 Jul 2016 06:55 PM |
There are only one way to go for Edgy Sad Roblox Videos.ESRV
Someone dies and that's it. Because no one is willing to take time and effort to really have you understand the characters and when something rather than dying happens to them. Seriously this video does something way better,helps you understand the people and gives you a sort of connection to them.Without giving you names and in 3 and a half.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_0iR6KFCxkQ |
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Prestwick
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| Joined: 19 Sep 2009 |
| Total Posts: 2900 |
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| 26 Jul 2016 07:19 PM |
why does he just stand and wait for the car to come and hit him?
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rockloin
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| Joined: 12 Dec 2010 |
| Total Posts: 715 |
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| 26 Jul 2016 07:22 PM |
Ikr Also when your diving at someone being able to push them a few feet i'm pretty sure you don't abruptly stop. |
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