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Re: So I've been writing a book.

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Jhgnomey is not online. Jhgnomey
Joined: 12 Jun 2013
Total Posts: 13420
26 Jul 2016 02:15 PM
It's 367 pages at the moment, and though this won't make any sense, considering you haven't read the before or after, I'll link a bit:
So...without any delay, and with a lot of TL;DR'ers in bound, I give you:::
A part of Chapter 22: Lady Namine of the Tiz-Do-No Scrolls.

"You are sure of this? Sure that is speaks the truth...?" Timk asked.
Mia frowned. "Considering how dark these days have become, I see not reason not to believe it."
Mia had let the others read the letter. All of them were shocked.
"How did it arrive?" Namine asked, twirling a strand of red hair between two fingers.
Mia sighed. "Deep in the night, by a Hume clad in silver armor bearing no symbolism, says the watchmen. They said the rider gave the letter, said nothing, and rode off."
"How reliable are these watchmen, if I may be so bold as to ask?" Timk asked, rubbing his stubble ever so lightly.
Mia grew an offended look, lowering her brow. "All of them are loyal to me, gnome."
"That's rather, unfortunately, bad." Timk replied.
"Excuse me?!" Mia exclaimed.
"I wish it was a lie, is all. Evil continues to throw itself upon us. Either choice results in a terrible outcome."
"How so?" Namine queried, interested.
"We leave, King Linus becomes aware that someone reached Topground first, which enables searching parties, causing him to become more weary and up the defenses Fazriune haphazardly has forgotten." Timk nodded slowly. "We stay, and everything we've worked so hard for thus far quickly becomes worthless."
"I see." Namine answered. "Only one answer is viable. If we wish for any chance to press on, we most definitely should leave Topground."
"Copperjem." Timk muttered.
"Dwarves?" Mia chuckled. "They despise Humes, do they not?"
"That is the past." Timk replied. "Now, they face the threat of extinction, need I remind. They are far too prideful, unwilling to accept that change is at times needed to survive and inevitable."
"How do you suppose we get them to join us, then?"
"I have a bundle of hope that an outsider promising them mines all over the Far South could convince them otherwise." Timk smiled.
"Clever." Namine nodded slowly. "Plus, you are a gnome."
"I doubt King Linus will care much about them, so we likely won't have to worry of that." Lance said.
"Do not be so sure, my friend." Timk shook his head, as if he was indicating Lance missed an obvious point. "King Linus might, no, he will seek out resources. The dwarves have hoarded many jems for many decades...not now."
"Aye." Lance bowed his head. "He will do as our little King proposes. We are forced to sidestep him."
"We are heavily outnumbered," Timk admitted. "but by uniting the many of the Far South, we have a strong chance to win this war."
War. Namine thought, her stomach dropping at the mere word. So I face another in my lifetime. The Great War of the Far South...Truthfully, every single battle she'd fought in she'd hoped would be her last. My duty is not complete yet. She thought.
"I am no evil leader." Mia said. "If my people wish to follow you, it will be their own choice. I hope you can respect that."
"I would ask nothing more, m'lady." Timk nodded.
When the party departed one day later, thirty seven of Topground rode with them. Mia swore on her life that they were loyal as they come. Timk questioned their skill in battle.
"Weak as limp noodles." She replied. "You have a knight, they can learn from her."
"A one-legged knight." Timk corrected. "She is not exactly in her prime, more of an adviser."
"And more, yes?"
Timk looked off. "Much more, if you must know." A smile came over his lips. "Much more indeed."
A moment later, Namine rode up on her silve rmare.
"I am pleased that you do not try to hide what many would believe should be hidden." Mia nodded her respect, then rode back to the end of the column.
Namine watched her go, then said: "You spoke of me?"
"Aye." Timk replied proudly. "That I did."
Namine smiled. "Do they know yet?"
"Know what?"
She looked around, making sure noone would hear her voice. "That I am to be your Queen."
"None." Timk assured. "Why? Does it matter to you?"
Namine shook her head. "No. I am curious as to what they'd think or say."
"I don't care what their thoughts are. I don't care what they say. If they speak ill, then they will face my ill words. Mine are worse. You shouldn't care about what they think about you...about us. You are by all means my Queen." And then he smiled at her. It was the most beautiful, loving smile she'd ever seen.
"Not quite yet." She said.
"What is left?" By his face, Namine knew he'd figured it out on his own.
"Do not worry." Namine urged. "Now is not the time for marriage."
"A vow won't change that I adore you."
Namine remembered Lady Zhien's plans. Timk was so very close to being executed. Even when Namine....

Going to end it there. My fingers are hurting.
Heads up, this is all handwritten. I write it on paper with a pen.
Working hard so...give critique as much as you'd like. :)
Report Abuse
Nextly is not online. Nextly
Joined: 11 Feb 2012
Total Posts: 38639
26 Jul 2016 02:15 PM
I can tell it will be a best seller



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Jhgnomey is not online. Jhgnomey
Joined: 12 Jun 2013
Total Posts: 13420
26 Jul 2016 02:16 PM
@Next
No need to joke around. I'm not a good writer, and I do it because I love it. I have no disillusion that I am going to be anything with it.
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Jhgnomey is not online. Jhgnomey
Joined: 12 Jun 2013
Total Posts: 13420
26 Jul 2016 02:18 PM
Bump.
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Mad_Thug is not online. Mad_Thug
Joined: 23 Apr 2016
Total Posts: 865
26 Jul 2016 02:19 PM
Wow, seems like effort.
A+ for Effort.
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Jhgnomey is not online. Jhgnomey
Joined: 12 Jun 2013
Total Posts: 13420
26 Jul 2016 02:20 PM
@Mad
Is it any good in your opinion?
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AluminumX is not online. AluminumX
Joined: 04 Sep 2011
Total Posts: 17997
26 Jul 2016 02:21 PM

07-26-2016 12:15 PM
It's 367 pages at the moment, and though this won't make any sense, considering you haven't read the before or after, I'll link a bit:
So...without any delay, and with a lot of TL;DR'ers in bound, I give you:::
A part of Chapter 22: Lady Namine of the Tiz-Do-No Scrolls.

"You are sure of this? Sure that is speaks the truth...?" Timk asked.
Mia frowned. "Considering how dark these days have become, I see not reason not to believe it."
Mia had let the others read the letter. All of them were shocked.
"How did it arrive?" Namine asked, twirling a strand of red hair between two fingers.
Mia sighed. "Deep in the night, by a Hume clad in silver armor bearing no symbolism, says the watchmen. They said the rider gave the letter, said nothing, and rode off."
"How reliable are these watchmen, if I may be so bold as to ask?" Timk asked, rubbing his stubble ever so lightly.
Mia grew an offended look, lowering her brow. "All of them are loyal to me, gnome."
"That's rather, unfortunately, bad." Timk replied.
"Excuse me?!" Mia exclaimed.
"I wish it was a lie, is all. Evil continues to throw itself upon us. Either choice results in a terrible outcome."
"How so?" Namine queried, interested.
"We leave, King Linus becomes aware that someone reached Topground first, which enables searching parties, causing him to become more weary and up the defenses Fazriune haphazardly has forgotten." Timk nodded slowly. "We stay, and everything we've worked so hard for thus far quickly becomes worthless."
"I see." Namine answered. "Only one answer is viable. If we wish for any chance to press on, we most definitely should leave Topground."
"Copperjem." Timk muttered.
"Dwarves?" Mia chuckled. "They despise Humes, do they not?"
"That is the past." Timk replied. "Now, they face the threat of extinction, need I remind. They are far too prideful, unwilling to accept that change is at times needed to survive and inevitable."
"How do you suppose we get them to join us, then?"
"I have a bundle of hope that an outsider promising them mines all over the Far South could convince them otherwise." Timk smiled.
"Clever." Namine nodded slowly. "Plus, you are a gnome."
"I doubt King Linus will care much about them, so we likely won't have to worry of that." Lance said.
"Do not be so sure, my friend." Timk shook his head, as if he was indicating Lance missed an obvious point. "King Linus might, no, he will seek out resources. The dwarves have hoarded many jems for many decades...not now."
"Aye." Lance bowed his head. "He will do as our little King proposes. We are forced to sidestep him."
"We are heavily outnumbered," Timk admitted. "but by uniting the many of the Far South, we have a strong chance to win this war."
War. Namine thought, her stomach dropping at the mere word. So I face another in my lifetime. The Great War of the Far South...Truthfully, every single battle she'd fought in she'd hoped would be her last. My duty is not complete yet. She thought.
"I am no evil leader." Mia said. "If my people wish to follow you, it will be their own choice. I hope you can respect that."
"I would ask nothing more, m'lady." Timk nodded.
When the party departed one day later, thirty seven of Topground rode with them. Mia swore on her life that they were loyal as they come. Timk questioned their skill in battle.
"Weak as limp noodles." She replied. "You have a knight, they can learn from her."
"A one-legged knight." Timk corrected. "She is not exactly in her prime, more of an adviser."
"And more, yes?"
Timk looked off. "Much more, if you must know." A smile came over his lips. "Much more indeed."
A moment later, Namine rode up on her silve rmare.
"I am pleased that you do not try to hide what many would believe should be hidden." Mia nodded her respect, then rode back to the end of the column.
Namine watched her go, then said: "You spoke of me?"
"Aye." Timk replied proudly. "That I did."
Namine smiled. "Do they know yet?"
"Know what?"
She looked around, making sure noone would hear her voice. "That I am to be your Queen."
"None." Timk assured. "Why? Does it matter to you?"
Namine shook her head. "No. I am curious as to what they'd think or say."
"I don't care what their thoughts are. I don't care what they say. If they speak ill, then they will face my ill words. Mine are worse. You shouldn't care about what they think about you...about us. You are by all means my Queen." And then he smiled at her. It was the most beautiful, loving smile she'd ever seen.
"Not quite yet." She said.
"What is left?" By his face, Namine knew he'd figured it out on his own.
"Do not worry." Namine urged. "Now is not the time for marriage."
"A vow won't change that I adore you."
Namine remembered Lady Zhien's plans. Timk was so very close to being executed. Even when Namine....

Going to end it there. My fingers are hurting.
Heads up, this is all handwritten. I write it on paper with a pen.
Working hard so...give critique as much as you'd like. :)

07-26-2016 12:15 PM
It's 367 pages at the moment, and though this won't make any sense, considering you haven't read the before or after, I'll link a bit:
So...without any delay, and with a lot of TL;DR'ers in bound, I give you:::
A part of Chapter 22: Lady Namine of the Tiz-Do-No Scrolls.

"You are sure of this? Sure that is speaks the truth...?" Timk asked.
Mia frowned. "Considering how dark these days have become, I see not reason not to believe it."
Mia had let the others read the letter. All of them were shocked.
"How did it arrive?" Namine asked, twirling a strand of red hair between two fingers.
Mia sighed. "Deep in the night, by a Hume clad in silver armor bearing no symbolism, says the watchmen. They said the rider gave the letter, said nothing, and rode off."
"How reliable are these watchmen, if I may be so bold as to ask?" Timk asked, rubbing his stubble ever so lightly.
Mia grew an offended look, lowering her brow. "All of them are loyal to me, gnome."
"That's rather, unfortunately, bad." Timk replied.
"Excuse me?!" Mia exclaimed.
"I wish it was a lie, is all. Evil continues to throw itself upon us. Either choice results in a terrible outcome."
"How so?" Namine queried, interested.
"We leave, King Linus becomes aware that someone reached Topground first, which enables searching parties, causing him to become more weary and up the defenses Fazriune haphazardly has forgotten." Timk nodded slowly. "We stay, and everything we've worked so hard for thus far quickly becomes worthless."
"I see." Namine answered. "Only one answer is viable. If we wish for any chance to press on, we most definitely should leave Topground."
"Copperjem." Timk muttered.
"Dwarves?" Mia chuckled. "They despise Humes, do they not?"
"That is the past." Timk replied. "Now, they face the threat of extinction, need I remind. They are far too prideful, unwilling to accept that change is at times needed to survive and inevitable."
"How do you suppose we get them to join us, then?"
"I have a bundle of hope that an outsider promising them mines all over the Far South could convince them otherwise." Timk smiled.
"Clever." Namine nodded slowly. "Plus, you are a gnome."
"I doubt King Linus will care much about them, so we likely won't have to worry of that." Lance said.
"Do not be so sure, my friend." Timk shook his head, as if he was indicating Lance missed an obvious point. "King Linus might, no, he will seek out resources. The dwarves have hoarded many jems for many decades...not now."
"Aye." Lance bowed his head. "He will do as our little King proposes. We are forced to sidestep him."
"We are heavily outnumbered," Timk admitted. "but by uniting the many of the Far South, we have a strong chance to win this war."
War. Namine thought, her stomach dropping at the mere word. So I face another in my lifetime. The Great War of the Far South...Truthfully, every single battle she'd fought in she'd hoped would be her last. My duty is not complete yet. She thought.
"I am no evil leader." Mia said. "If my people wish to follow you, it will be their own choice. I hope you can respect that."
"I would ask nothing more, m'lady." Timk nodded.
When the party departed one day later, thirty seven of Topground rode with them. Mia swore on her life that they were loyal as they come. Timk questioned their skill in battle.
"Weak as limp noodles." She replied. "You have a knight, they can learn from her."
"A one-legged knight." Timk corrected. "She is not exactly in her prime, more of an adviser."
"And more, yes?"
Timk looked off. "Much more, if you must know." A smile came over his lips. "Much more indeed."
A moment later, Namine rode up on her silve rmare.
"I am pleased that you do not try to hide what many would believe should be hidden." Mia nodded her respect, then rode back to the end of the column.
Namine watched her go, then said: "You spoke of me?"
"Aye." Timk replied proudly. "That I did."
Namine smiled. "Do they know yet?"
"Know what?"
She looked around, making sure noone would hear her voice. "That I am to be your Queen."
"None." Timk assured. "Why? Does it matter to you?"
Namine shook her head. "No. I am curious as to what they'd think or say."
"I don't care what their thoughts are. I don't care what they say. If they speak ill, then they will face my ill words. Mine are worse. You shouldn't care about what they think about you...about us. You are by all means my Queen." And then he smiled at her. It was the most beautiful, loving smile she'd ever seen.
"Not quite yet." She said.
"What is left?" By his face, Namine knew he'd figured it out on his own.
"Do not worry." Namine urged. "Now is not the time for marriage."
"A vow won't change that I adore you."
Namine remembered Lady Zhien's plans. Timk was so very close to being executed. Even when Namine....

Going to end it there. My fingers are hurting.
Heads up, this is all handwritten. I write it on paper with a pen.
Working hard so...give critique as much as you'd like. :)

07-26-2016 12:15 PM
It's 367 pages at the moment, and though this won't make any sense, considering you haven't read the before or after, I'll link a bit:
So...without any delay, and with a lot of TL;DR'ers in bound, I give you:::
A part of Chapter 22: Lady Namine of the Tiz-Do-No Scrolls.

"You are sure of this? Sure that is speaks the truth...?" Timk asked.
Mia frowned. "Considering how dark these days have become, I see not reason not to believe it."
Mia had let the others read the letter. All of them were shocked.
"How did it arrive?" Namine asked, twirling a strand of red hair between two fingers.
Mia sighed. "Deep in the night, by a Hume clad in silver armor bearing no symbolism, says the watchmen. They said the rider gave the letter, said nothing, and rode off."
"How reliable are these watchmen, if I may be so bold as to ask?" Timk asked, rubbing his stubble ever so lightly.
Mia grew an offended look, lowering her brow. "All of them are loyal to me, gnome."
"That's rather, unfortunately, bad." Timk replied.
"Excuse me?!" Mia exclaimed.
"I wish it was a lie, is all. Evil continues to throw itself upon us. Either choice results in a terrible outcome."
"How so?" Namine queried, interested.
"We leave, King Linus becomes aware that someone reached Topground first, which enables searching parties, causing him to become more weary and up the defenses Fazriune haphazardly has forgotten." Timk nodded slowly. "We stay, and everything we've worked so hard for thus far quickly becomes worthless."
"I see." Namine answered. "Only one answer is viable. If we wish for any chance to press on, we most definitely should leave Topground."
"Copperjem." Timk muttered.
"Dwarves?" Mia chuckled. "They despise Humes, do they not?"
"That is the past." Timk replied. "Now, they face the threat of extinction, need I remind. They are far too prideful, unwilling to accept that change is at times needed to survive and inevitable."
"How do you suppose we get them to join us, then?"
"I have a bundle of hope that an outsider promising them mines all over the Far South could convince them otherwise." Timk smiled.
"Clever." Namine nodded slowly. "Plus, you are a gnome."
"I doubt King Linus will care much about them, so we likely won't have to worry of that." Lance said.
"Do not be so sure, my friend." Timk shook his head, as if he was indicating Lance missed an obvious point. "King Linus might, no, he will seek out resources. The dwarves have hoarded many jems for many decades...not now."
"Aye." Lance bowed his head. "He will do as our little King proposes. We are forced to sidestep him."
"We are heavily outnumbered," Timk admitted. "but by uniting the many of the Far South, we have a strong chance to win this war."
War. Namine thought, her stomach dropping at the mere word. So I face another in my lifetime. The Great War of the Far South...Truthfully, every single battle she'd fought in she'd hoped would be her last. My duty is not complete yet. She thought.
"I am no evil leader." Mia said. "If my people wish to follow you, it will be their own choice. I hope you can respect that."
"I would ask nothing more, m'lady." Timk nodded.
When the party departed one day later, thirty seven of Topground rode with them. Mia swore on her life that they were loyal as they come. Timk questioned their skill in battle.
"Weak as limp noodles." She replied. "You have a knight, they can learn from her."
"A one-legged knight." Timk corrected. "She is not exactly in her prime, more of an adviser."
"And more, yes?"
Timk looked off. "Much more, if you must know." A smile came over his lips. "Much more indeed."
A moment later, Namine rode up on her silve rmare.
"I am pleased that you do not try to hide what many would believe should be hidden." Mia nodded her respect, then rode back to the end of the column.
Namine watched her go, then said: "You spoke of me?"
"Aye." Timk replied proudly. "That I did."
Namine smiled. "Do they know yet?"
"Know what?"
She looked around, making sure noone would hear her voice. "That I am to be your Queen."
"None." Timk assured. "Why? Does it matter to you?"
Namine shook her head. "No. I am curious as to what they'd think or say."
"I don't care what their thoughts are. I don't care what they say. If they speak ill, then they will face my ill words. Mine are worse. You shouldn't care about what they think about you...about us. You are by all means my Queen." And then he smiled at her. It was the most beautiful, loving smile she'd ever seen.
"Not quite yet." She said.
"What is left?" By his face, Namine knew he'd figured it out on his own.
"Do not worry." Namine urged. "Now is not the time for marriage."
"A vow won't change that I adore you."
Namine remembered Lady Zhien's plans. Timk was so very close to being executed. Even when Namine....

Going to end it there. My fingers are hurting.
Heads up, this is all handwritten. I write it on paper with a pen.
Working hard so...give critique as much as you'd like. :)



IT'S DESPERATION! | https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uXXUd_vo8vk
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WhispersAndEchoes is not online. WhispersAndEchoes
Joined: 01 Mar 2010
Total Posts: 7762
26 Jul 2016 02:21 PM
There's a lot of dialog.


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Mad_Thug is not online. Mad_Thug
Joined: 23 Apr 2016
Total Posts: 865
26 Jul 2016 02:22 PM
I can't decide. But Erm, i'd say fine.... Is this Fantasy.?
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Jhgnomey is not online. Jhgnomey
Joined: 12 Jun 2013
Total Posts: 13420
26 Jul 2016 02:23 PM
It varies. There's some chapters (and or "scrolls") that are nearly all description, some that are nearly all dialog. depends on the pacing for some characters and where they are. If they're in one place, sometimes I won't go above and beyond describing stuff you've already seen.
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Jhgnomey is not online. Jhgnomey
Joined: 12 Jun 2013
Total Posts: 13420
26 Jul 2016 02:24 PM
@Mad
Yeah. It's a fantasy work. I've written 5 books in the series already, this is an excerpt from the 6th, aka Between the Rifts of Reality and Make-Believe.
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Jhgnomey is not online. Jhgnomey
Joined: 12 Jun 2013
Total Posts: 13420
26 Jul 2016 02:30 PM
bump2. feel bad uploading this, bad as it is. i guess i'm just not good.
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