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Re: How to get girls if you're a neckbeard

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AdhesiveDiamond is not online. AdhesiveDiamond
Joined: 28 Jul 2012
Total Posts: 1038
05 Jun 2016 07:24 PM
Alright neckbeards, time to learn how to get the girl.

1. Shave that neckbeard off. I'm serious. Just get rid of it, it ain't cute. Get some shaving cream and a good razor. Don't use the same one you shaved your balls with 4 years ago. Get a new, good one. The more money you spend, the better.

2. Take a shower. That's right, that's the rain machine that's next to the toilet you watch anime on. Get all 500lb of your greasy ass in that shower, turn it on, and for the love of god, use soap. Sulfate free shampoo is good too, but not every time you pleb. During this shower, you can also shave, you monkey.

3. Git gud clothing. Don't walk around like this. Throw away the fedora, lose the flasher trench coat, and jesus christ don't walk around with gloves like some deranged person. Buy a nice button-down shirt, long sleeve if you're fat af, short sleeve if not, make sure it hugs close to the body, you're not going for the minimum wage slave look. Tailored pants or slim-cut jeans (Levi's 511's for example) will make them crawl.

4. Wear deodorant and cologne. This is NOT a replacement for a shower you sicko. Take the shower first, apply deodorant BEFORE putting your shirt on and wait 5 minutes for it to dry. Don't give yourself stains on your nice new clothing, it makes you look like the child you are. Spray your cologne in a cloud and then walk through it. DO NOT USE AXE JESUS. Get some good cologne, I recommend Lacoste Blanc cause it makes them grease up. AGAIN DO NOT USE AXE YOU IDIOT. Your waifu would not approve.

5. Learn how to talk to people who aren't weebs. Don't bring up anime at all. I don't care if there's a chance she is into anime. LET HER BRING IT UP. If you decide to go on about your various waifus and how much they mean to you, I almost guarantee she will mace you, call the police, and then go out with your brother. Guaranteed. Don't do it. Instead, ask about stuff she likes, and listen to her. They love when people listen. Also, try to be charming. If you got jokes, say jokes. NOT ABOUT ANIME THO.

6. If you actually manage to take a girl home, DO NOT ASK HER INAPPROPRIATE STUFF. I SWEAR. Don't just jump at the chance if you see it. Be as indirect as possible and try to pick up on her signals. If it seems like she's interested, and you take her to your place, ask her if she'd like some coffee or tea. Don't be like "DAE LETS SKREW". Let things progress naturally and you'll find yourself knee deep in it later.

I hope this has taught you a thing or two, and I look forward to hearing about you being arrested for assault or something in the news.
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trooldude12 is not online. trooldude12
Joined: 02 Apr 2013
Total Posts: 415
05 Jun 2016 07:25 PM
You did it wrong.
Here's how:
You don't.
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WireYouDoinThis is not online. WireYouDoinThis
Joined: 04 Jun 2016
Total Posts: 26
05 Jun 2016 07:25 PM
Lmao a seven year old making a dating tutorial. How refreshing and original, Mr. Sartorius
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King_Queen is not online. King_Queen
Joined: 24 Feb 2016
Total Posts: 108
05 Jun 2016 07:25 PM
You are quite pathetic, I see.

Typical male subordinate desperate to conform to liberal society.
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Kotawl is not online. Kotawl
Joined: 22 Jun 2013
Total Posts: 23595
05 Jun 2016 07:26 PM
>get girls
>neckbeard
you can only choose one
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Under13YearsOld is not online. Under13YearsOld
Joined: 09 May 2013
Total Posts: 4249
05 Jun 2016 07:26 PM
just make them hostages
or shoot them


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Daimyo_Julian is not online. Daimyo_Julian
Joined: 29 Dec 2012
Total Posts: 39317
05 Jun 2016 07:27 PM
@kotawl
i choose the katana /s


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ThaiStandardSoap is not online. ThaiStandardSoap
Joined: 07 Jul 2013
Total Posts: 8901
05 Jun 2016 07:27 PM
GIRLS ARE DRAWN TO NECKBEARDS ENOUGH AS IT IS
DASTARDLY WIT
AND QUIRKY FASHION SENSE
NECKBEARDS TRULY HAVE IT ALL
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AdhesiveDiamond is not online. AdhesiveDiamond
Joined: 28 Jul 2012
Total Posts: 1038
05 Jun 2016 07:27 PM
"You are quite pathetic, I see.
Typical male subordinate desperate to conform to liberal society."

Hey _Anon I bet you're pretty cute attacking your ideological allies. Can you do everyone a favor and run all the way back home to /r/theredpill though? I'm trying to educate some greasy teenagers here.
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mindlessderp is not online. mindlessderp
Joined: 25 Jun 2012
Total Posts: 62800
05 Jun 2016 07:33 PM
I have a tiny bit of hair on my neck

I should grow it into a neckbeard!!!
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Swagillou is not online. Swagillou
Joined: 27 Feb 2015
Total Posts: 2606
05 Jun 2016 07:42 PM
guess im not getting a girl because i use axe :(


Alt of thelegoboy8732489 | Add 14.9k | Eharmony called, they want their players back
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3D_Printer is not online. 3D_Printer
Joined: 24 Feb 2016
Total Posts: 7684
05 Jun 2016 07:44 PM
how to get girls if you're a girl
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OTSollux is not online. OTSollux
Joined: 11 Nov 2015
Total Posts: 845
05 Jun 2016 07:50 PM
how to get girls/guys if your a female neckbeard/m'lady/legbeard?


whycat is sad (#1 alt)
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Ohmyblast is not online. Ohmyblast
Joined: 04 Jul 2009
Total Posts: 478
05 Jun 2016 07:51 PM
H I T T H E G Y M
I
T

T
H
E

G
Y
M


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IridiumFlare is not online. IridiumFlare
Joined: 03 Feb 2009
Total Posts: 18587
05 Jun 2016 07:51 PM
OP you forget to say get /fit/
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alasa2 is not online. alasa2
Joined: 03 Jun 2016
Total Posts: 1367
05 Jun 2016 07:55 PM
you really thought this through, op..


ℑ'𝔡 𝔩𝔦𝔨𝔢 𝔱𝔬 𝔱𝔞𝔨𝔢 𝔞 𝔪𝔦𝔫𝔲𝔱𝔢 𝔧𝔲𝔰𝔱 𝔰𝔦𝔱 𝔯𝔦𝔤𝔥𝔱 𝔱𝔥𝔢𝔯𝔢 ℑ'𝔩𝔩 𝔱𝔢𝔩𝔩 𝔶𝔬𝔲 𝔥𝔬𝔴 ℑ 𝔟𝔢𝔠𝔞𝔪𝔢 𝔱𝔥𝔢 𝔭𝔯𝔦𝔫𝔠𝔢 𝔬𝔣 𝔞 𝔱𝔬𝔴𝔫 𝔠𝔞𝔩𝔩𝔢𝔡 𝔅𝔢𝔩A-𝔄𝔦𝔯
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Keviyn is not online. Keviyn
Joined: 14 Mar 2011
Total Posts: 10134
05 Jun 2016 08:01 PM
ot is jealous lmao

this was amazing ;p


*twitches* https://www.roblox.com/Black-Rose-Dragon-item?id=414410453https://www.roblox.com/Black-Rose-Dragon-item?id=414410587https://www.roblox.com/Black-Rose-Dragon-item?id=414410686
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Ginjji is not online. Ginjji
Joined: 19 Jun 2011
Total Posts: 7677
05 Jun 2016 08:01 PM
I was gonna say shave all off but the mustache, and make it into a curly one.
The ladies love the curly mustaches.
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IridiumFlare is not online. IridiumFlare
Joined: 03 Feb 2009
Total Posts: 18587
05 Jun 2016 08:03 PM
"The ladies love the curly mustaches."

Maybe if you're going after hipster chicks.
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hugemaddog0006 is not online. hugemaddog0006
Joined: 23 Dec 2011
Total Posts: 992
05 Jun 2016 08:05 PM
What's a girl?

NHLR S2 Calder Winner, NRHL S1 Vezina Winner, #77
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AdhesiveDiamond is not online. AdhesiveDiamond
Joined: 28 Jul 2012
Total Posts: 1038
05 Jun 2016 08:07 PM
"I was gonna say shave all off but the mustache"

Jesus no. Nobody wants to see how creepy your sweaty peachfuzz-stache looks. That doesn't look good on anyone.
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h3licopter is not online. h3licopter
Joined: 27 Jan 2014
Total Posts: 8675
05 Jun 2016 08:07 PM
i just go for guys who have nice butts


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alasa2 is not online. alasa2
Joined: 03 Jun 2016
Total Posts: 1367
05 Jun 2016 08:08 PM
i just go for guys who have nice butts [2]

saaaaaaaame


ℑ'𝔡 𝔩𝔦𝔨𝔢 𝔱𝔬 𝔱𝔞𝔨𝔢 𝔞 𝔪𝔦𝔫𝔲𝔱𝔢 𝔧𝔲𝔰𝔱 𝔰𝔦𝔱 𝔯𝔦𝔤𝔥𝔱 𝔱𝔥𝔢𝔯𝔢 ℑ'𝔩𝔩 𝔱𝔢𝔩𝔩 𝔶𝔬𝔲 𝔥𝔬𝔴 ℑ 𝔟𝔢𝔠𝔞𝔪𝔢 𝔱𝔥𝔢 𝔭𝔯𝔦𝔫𝔠𝔢 𝔬𝔣 𝔞 𝔱𝔬𝔴𝔫 𝔠𝔞𝔩𝔩𝔢𝔡 𝔅𝔢𝔩A-𝔄𝔦𝔯
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Keviyn is not online. Keviyn
Joined: 14 Mar 2011
Total Posts: 10134
05 Jun 2016 08:10 PM
I just go for girls who look like guys[3]


*twitches* https://www.roblox.com/Black-Rose-Dragon-item?id=414410453https://www.roblox.com/Black-Rose-Dragon-item?id=414410587https://www.roblox.com/Black-Rose-Dragon-item?id=414410686
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Qwazilla is not online. Qwazilla
Joined: 10 Dec 2014
Total Posts: 4351
05 Jun 2016 10:46 PM
"Don't bring up anime at all."

Absolutely not
If someone cannot banter about senseless garbage then I don't want anything to do with them
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