Loyal2One
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| Joined: 24 Jun 2012 |
| Total Posts: 10155 |
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| 12 Apr 2016 08:40 PM |
I know I've been writing a lot of these lately but I hope to get better by putting them up for critique. Feel free to suggest changes, as it is only a first draft!
What if I were to convey in sonnets The vocal release of my ev'ry word As Romeo in his noted moments; Lacking hesitation, bearing no slur?
Marvelous metaphors conceived with ease-- These I would utter with guile at my will! Music it'd be, and my soul it'd appease To evoke Shakespear'an beauty distilled.
Now I humbly relay these thoughts to you As I submit and humbly slip away. Weary and discontented I am too As sunset brings about the end of day.
But have I not fulfilled my dying wish? Farewell, good friends. I plan to part at this!
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lobstery7
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| Joined: 02 Jul 2009 |
| Total Posts: 12637 |
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| 12 Apr 2016 08:51 PM |
hay dood u evr think of rorapping? u got sum srs barz yo
Lobstery, God of Infinite Wisdom and Cruelty, King of the Pop Fans |
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Loyal2One
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| Joined: 24 Jun 2012 |
| Total Posts: 10155 |
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Loyal2One
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| Joined: 24 Jun 2012 |
| Total Posts: 10155 |
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| 13 Apr 2016 08:34 PM |
but srs m8t3 i coud b king ov rorap
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lobstery7
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| Joined: 02 Jul 2009 |
| Total Posts: 12637 |
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| 14 Apr 2016 02:32 PM |
no but realy u should come up w/ a rorap naim LoyalG4ngsta
Lobstery, God of Infinite Wisdom and Cruelty, King of the Pop Fans |
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| 14 Apr 2016 03:46 PM |
Loyal2NoOne
its got a rebelious chime to it |
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Loyal2One
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| Joined: 24 Jun 2012 |
| Total Posts: 10155 |
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| 14 Apr 2016 03:50 PM |
| One day I'll be like Yung Shaweeaboo! |
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| 14 Apr 2016 04:20 PM |
| i remember my teenage poetry stage |
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Loyal2One
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| Joined: 24 Jun 2012 |
| Total Posts: 10155 |
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| 14 Apr 2016 04:22 PM |
| And what do you mean by that, SalsaSight? |
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| 16 Apr 2016 02:17 PM |
ya salsa tf u doin rude
but tbh loyal i think you are still discovering your style. keep at it though reading poetry is the greatest teacher for writing poetry
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