Loyal2One
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| Joined: 24 Jun 2012 |
| Total Posts: 10155 |
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| 04 Apr 2016 08:02 PM |
What sounds better?
Yet words are stripped of benefit when nothing remains to be said
Yet words can do no good when nothing is left unsaid
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Loyal2One
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| Joined: 24 Jun 2012 |
| Total Posts: 10155 |
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| 04 Apr 2016 08:08 PM |
Or any combination of the two?
Or you could just say "they both suck!"
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YungSmoke
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| Joined: 08 Sep 2013 |
| Total Posts: 8468 |
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| 04 Apr 2016 08:12 PM |
| I can't choose because I can't fit it in with the rest of the writing. |
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Loyal2One
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| Joined: 24 Jun 2012 |
| Total Posts: 10155 |
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| 04 Apr 2016 08:15 PM |
The bitter taste of parting still grips my tongue But words do no right when nothing remains to be said What is left: A memory of a memory, A nocturnal iteration, A tantalizing ambiance And I would have it no other way
I know it's rough but if you could give me any suggestions without absolutely condemning it that'd be nice
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Cudbert
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| Joined: 18 Dec 2010 |
| Total Posts: 16725 |
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| 04 Apr 2016 08:24 PM |
| AA judgement could be more more clearly if you gave us some context |
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Loyal2One
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| Joined: 24 Jun 2012 |
| Total Posts: 10155 |
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| 04 Apr 2016 08:28 PM |
Poetry is a form of literature that uses aesthetic and rhythmic qualities of language to evoke meanings in addition to, or in place of, the prosaic ostensible meaning - wikipedia
So it's open to interpretation. There is no set context. I know what it means to me, and if it is passable, it may mean something completely different to you
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Loyal2One
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| Joined: 24 Jun 2012 |
| Total Posts: 10155 |
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| 04 Apr 2016 08:30 PM |
Is it cringey? Does it make you think? Does it flow well?
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YungSmoke
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| Joined: 08 Sep 2013 |
| Total Posts: 8468 |
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| 04 Apr 2016 08:30 PM |
Lose your girlfriend m8?
Jk nvm,
I would say... Yet words can leave regret when the unsaid is spoken.
But if I had to choose I would go with number 2. |
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zenazebra
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| Joined: 21 Dec 2009 |
| Total Posts: 3349 |
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Loyal2One
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| Joined: 24 Jun 2012 |
| Total Posts: 10155 |
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| 04 Apr 2016 08:35 PM |
Ha no, Yung. I was given a prompt, "A Bitter Taste," and I decided to come up with a story in the form of an unconventional poem
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