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| 23 Mar 2016 05:33 PM |
*TO MODS* I don't know why this was deleted, but I'm going to assume it was a mistake since it didn't break any rules and it was relevant to the sub-forum. If it wasn't, then be sure to give me some kind of notification as to what was wrong with it.
For everyone new to this sub-forum, this post will help you figure out if you should or want to start posting here.
First off, there are a few things you must have in order to start posting here;
-The mindset to be elitist about everything you like, this means TV shows, movies, video games, food, walking styles, fashion, mental disabilities, etc. but MOST IMPORTANT OF ALL, music.
-The will to defend your favorite genre of music as if it were your newborn child. You need to be really fiesty too, I'm talking biting, clawing, punching, kicking, headbutting, eye-gouging, ANYTHING you can do to make sure no one dislikes your perfect musical genre.
-The ability to lie about your musical preference. Now this part can be hard if you follow the other two completely, because they conflict with this one. But fear not, this is quite simple. You still have one genre of music you like best, but you need to pretend to like others too. When asked about which artists of that genre you like, google underground artists of that genre and copy-paste them.
-A complete contrarian attitude. Yet again, with the other three, this will be somewhat challenging if you follow those completely. But like the last requirement, this is really quite simple. See something someone likes? Does someone else agree with that person? Are those two people socially acceptable? If the answer to all three of those questions is yes, you are required by MT/PC law to hate what they like. But why stop there! You're an MTer now, you have to be contrarian toward contrarians, and hate what contrarians like, and then hate what double contrarians like, and then triple contrarians, and so on until the only thing you want to listen to is that one Swans song you pretended to like a while back! But to sum this up and make it a bit easier, just disagree with everyone.
-The ability to post 24/7 but while still pretending to have a social life. This part can be challenging aswell, but I'm here to help, so help I shall. All you need is ONE irl friend and a phone. Now for the friend, you're an MTer so you might have a bit of difficulty there, but just try to find the biggest loser in your middle school and make nice with him. For the phone, it can be any sort of phone you want, iphone, android, windows (but for your sake just don't bother with a windows phone), just make sure it's not a flip-phone from the late 90s and that it has a camera. With these you can provide proof that you're very sociable by taking random pictures of you and your friend in public (just try to take the paper bag off your head, you're an MTer so this may be challenging but still).
-Some, even if fake, musical ability. Most of the big MTers make some form of music (granted most of it is mind-numbingly bland ambient, drone, noise or some hipster art-music), so you should do the same if you want to be like the cool kids! Now this isn't exactly my area of expertise, but from what I've seen you atleast need audacity and a few VST instruments. Google could help with that.
Now that you meet the standards for foruming here and real people find you completely unbearable, it's time to introduce yourself with your first post here. Now a first post is something many people think hard about, but if you meet the requirements above, this should come naturally. Here are two things you could do;
-A thread asking everyone what kind of music they prefer. What's that? Does that sound too musically tolerable for an MTer? Don't worry, it's all a trick! What you're really doing is getting people to tell you what music they like so you can insult all of them and say your musical preference is better. Now that's more like it!
-A thread asking if anyone likes your favorite artist. Still doesn't sound MT enough? Insult anyone who says they don't, and if you know what artists they like, insult those artists!
-A thread explaining how you came from another sub-forum. Self-explanitory, don't expect any kindness from others though.
Now that you've introduced yourself and everyone despises you, you can start posting regularly here. Over time, you should have enough friends (about two) to call yourself a popular MTer! But there are a few things you must do to keep this status;
-Post regularly and make sure none of your posts are too different from eachother.
-Bait other new posters that are less MT than you. Make sure to insist their opinions are invalid because they don't backpack other musical genres.
-Make one or two posts about what's going on in your life (make sure to lie since, as an MTer, nothing interesting is happening social-wise) while cursing everyone else who does the same.
-Talk about Swans albums.
But wait, something about your posting style is different than the average MTer, and that's a really bad thing! Don't worry, the problem is quite simple -- you're not using MT lingo. MTers have a distinct talking style (or typing style that is, their manner of talking usually consists of nervous stuttering and mumbling) that can be hard to pick up for some. But I'm here to make his easier. The easiest way to talk like an MTer is to induct the following into your daily vocabulary.
-tbh (to be honest, use this when talking about your undesired opinion) -fam (family, use this to sarcastically refer to someone who dislikes you, because you're a clever MTer!) -meme (use this to describe an underground artist that don't have a rabid cult following of ten people) -pleb (use this to describe people who listen to music that's a bit different than yours or that you don't like) -patrician (use this to describe your music) -triggered (use this to describe someone who replied to you without being ironic, or someone that did disagree with you while being ironic) -true (in the context of musical preference) -entry level (use to describe bands that more than one person has heard of) -swans
Example sentences;
"these plebs' meme music really triggers me tbh fam" "^triggered pleb" "what's your favorite swans album?" "entry level pleb music, i only listen to true patrician music like kelpy G"
Now you're talking like an MTer in your regular posts, so you're almost there! There's just one last thing you NEED to do in order to be a true patrician MTer; make a human sacrifice to Michael Gira. This might be difficult and morally challenging to some, but you're an MTer. Here's how you could do this;
-Find someone, preferably somebody weak.
-Tackle him and shout violently about how he's a freak.
-Beat him to death with a vinyl record (not my area of expertise).
At this point, Michael Gira himself should be ascending from hell to knight you as an official MTer. |
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| 23 Mar 2016 05:35 PM |
lol u stole this from that other person
WAAA! Doctors hate him |
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| 23 Mar 2016 05:37 PM |
"lol u stole this from that other person"
i made the other one and sent it to him over skype for him to post it. |
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| 23 Mar 2016 05:38 PM |
repoted
WAAA! Doctors hate him |
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| 23 Mar 2016 05:39 PM |
ur getting a smaller pot too
WAAA! Doctors hate him |
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Consal
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| Joined: 01 Nov 2009 |
| Total Posts: 17884 |
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| 23 Mar 2016 06:37 PM |
"All you need is ONE irl friend and a phone. Now for the friend, you're an MTer so you might have a bit of difficulty there"
this is false as i am one of the most popular kids in my class |
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| 23 Mar 2016 06:43 PM |
"this is false as i am one of the most popular kids in my class"
i feel you man i'm the most popular kid in my basement |
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PUSH5
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| Joined: 06 Jun 2009 |
| Total Posts: 8793 |
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| 23 Mar 2016 06:53 PM |
"The will to defend your favorite genre of music as if it were your newborn child. You need to be really fiesty too, I'm talking biting, clawing, punching, kicking, headbutting, eye-gouging, ANYTHING you can do to make sure no one dislikes your perfect musical genre"
perfectly describes you |
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| 23 Mar 2016 06:57 PM |
"perfectly describes you"
how's it going push? |
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| 24 Mar 2016 08:34 AM |
| can rabbits count as friends? |
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zenazebra
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| Joined: 21 Dec 2009 |
| Total Posts: 3349 |
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| 24 Mar 2016 07:20 PM |
"ben got owned again"
did i miss something |
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zenazebra
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| Joined: 21 Dec 2009 |
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| 24 Mar 2016 07:22 PM |
yeah, the roblox rule book aparently
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| 24 Mar 2016 07:24 PM |
"yeah, the roblox rule book aparently"
i put a disclaimer at the top of the post, if a bot removes this i'll repost it again |
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thinners
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| Joined: 10 Dec 2015 |
| Total Posts: 5096 |
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thinners
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thinners
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