tori15738
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| Joined: 06 Jul 2015 |
| Total Posts: 621 |
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| 17 Mar 2016 08:43 PM |
Jade is a goth girl who has just moved to a new house in Hollywood hills. She now attends a school a block down from Hollywood Blvd. "Jade get dressed for school your almost late." Jades mother shouted up the stairs
"K mom." She said as she finished putting in her black eye shadow. She grabbed her death note messenger bag off of her chair and headed down stairs. She grabbed a donut from the napkin on her counter. "Slept good honey?" Her father asked as he sipped his coffee. "Yea." She said as she poured half a cup of coffee in her mug. "Look at my little munchkin, drinking coffee, growing up faster then I can say 'hi'." He said as he grabbed Jade and hugged her tight. "We got a surprise for ya Hun. Close your eyes." Her mother said as she and her husband grabbed jades arm and dragged her to the driveway. "Open 'em." Jade opened her eyes to see a black 2015 Toyota Corolla parked right in her driveway. "Oh my god mom and dad thank you so much." She said as she hugged both her parents simultaneously. "No problem sweetheart, just stay on your grades and you may be able to upgrade." Her father said as he chuckled. "I don't want you to be late now, so move along." Her mom said as she smiled and waved goodbye to Jade, who has gotten in her car, and drove off.
6 minutes later.....
Jade arrived to her school, urbanwood high. She got out of her car, standing tall and slim, dark brown hair, pale skin, baby blue eyes with a striped dark red and black tank top, short black studded skirt, ripped black leggings, and tall black studded combat boots. She put on her backpack and walked inside the school. She saw lockers on both sides of the hall, and stairs in the middle.
"Hey do you know where the main office is?" She asked a girl
The girl had blonde straight hair, a pink and white striped shirt, pink skirt, and pink shiny heels. She was also carrying one of the richest purses in the world.
"Who tf do you think you are to come up to me like you know me, and ask for directions when you could find it yourself?" She snapped
"Oh sorry but I'm new and I was just asking for....."
"Oooh so your a newbie, hasn't this school got enough of accepting trash to this school." She walked off laughing.
Jade stared as she walked away, with hurt and shocked feelings.
"Your looking for the main office? It's down the hall to your right." A boy told her as he smiled
"Thanks." Jade smiled and walked to her destination
She opened the door and walked in to the desk.
"Hi my name is Jade erikson, new student to urbanwood."
"Oh ya Jade Erikson. Here's your schedule if you have any questions or concerns please see the principle. Enjoy your day." She smiled to Jade as she turned back to her computer
"K thank you." She walked out. The bell rang. "K first period, says here I have science first." She put the schedule in her backpack. She headed to science class........
2 periods later......
It was finally lunch. Jade headed to the lunch room, purchased her lunch, and sat at a lunch table outside.
She started eating her taco and a couple of minutes later the girl that she spoke to earlier headed over to her table with a group of girls and two boys.
"Oh looks guys, it's this goth btch I bumped into earlier. Shouldn't you be somewhere worshipping Satan." They all laughed
"And shouldn't you be worshipping your dck of a boyfriend." Jade said turning her attention towards the group. "Oh, so vampire chic got some insults. That was good sweetheart, but learning insults from the Internet is weak." She said "She probably can't even afford Internet." Another girl said They all chuckled and walked off, before the blonde headed girl walked over, picked up jades taco, and threw it on the ground.
"Oops." She laughed and walked away. Jade, now disappointed, was left there with no one to talk to or no food to eat. The boy she bumped into earlier then walked over and sat next to her.
"I see you've had your first encounter with Clarissa." He said as he gave Jade his taco
"Her names Clarissa? I thought it was ****." Jade said. They both chuckled.
"My names Jade, what's yours?"
"Denis."
"So Jade, let me catch you up on everything that goes on here. Clarissa is a rich snob who thinks she has complete control over urbanwood. The rest of them are just her little sidekicks, when really they don't give a crap about her, not even her own boyfriend." He said as he drank his soda.
"Wow." She said "so what about you?"
"What about me?"
"What are you? Not trying to be rude."
"Oh me? I'm just some normal geek boy who knows all the chiz going down around here."
"So cool." Jade said
The bell rang
"Well we should get to class. Nice meeting you Denis." They both walked off and headed to their next class.
3 hours later....
It was finally time to go home. Jade walked outside. Before she could finish going down the stairs, one of Clarissa's friends threw a cross at her and ran off. "MAY THE CROSS BURN YOU!!" She laughed and ran off to her car.
Jade stood there, hurt yet again, and sighed. "So this is what I'm gonna have to start putting up with huh?" She walked to her car, saddened, and drove home by herself.
Later that night......
It was 11:00pm. Jade just got out the shower, and dryed herself off. She then put on her pajamas and headed to her bed. She set the alarm on her phone, lied down in her bed and pulled the covers over her.
Her mom opened the door a little bit.
"Goodnight sweetheart." She said as she smiled and blowed a kiss to Jade
"Night mom."
Jade lied in her bed, reflecting on her day. The fact of what she had to put up with today didn't set the tone for the next day.
Each day couldn't get any worse
She was even embarrassed in front of everyone at lunch
One day, Jade was walking to her car, that was parked in the school parking lot
Clarissa and her group of friends walked over to Jade who was at her car
"Look who it is, it's our schools worthless pet. Wasn't the janitor supposed take you back to the animal shelter yesterday?" Clarissa said chuckling
"He was but he seemed more focused on your mother today. Oh yes that reminds me, wasn't she the one who tried for plastic surgery 50 times but failed?" Jade snapped back
"Actually it was 20, go back to hell." Clarissa snapped
"With you here I'm already there." Jade snapped back. She turned back around and opened her car door
"BTCH!!!" Clarissa grabbed jades hair and threw her on the ground. Her friends then gathered around Jade and kicked, punched and spit on her while Clarissa slapped her non stop.
"Ok guys, I think this dog has learned her lesson." She got up and they all walked away, leaving Jade crying and lying on the ground, helplessly and scared
15 minutes later.
Jade arrived home. She tried to put makeup on her black eye but she failed. So she parted her hair to one side, covering her right eye. She then nervously walked inside her house, only to be asked a thousand questions by her mom.
"Jade Hun where have you been?"
"Are you ok?"
"What have you been doing?"
"Mom, mom I'm fine." Jade said nervously
"No your not your shaking. Tell me what's going on." Her mother demanded.
"NOTHING!!!" Jade said, shouting at her mother
"Your hiding something and I don't like it..." her mother stops and pushes her hair back
"YOU HAVE A BLACK EYE!!!"
"Shhhhhh!! Mom it's fine, please!!"
"How did you get it?"
"I just bumped my eye on my Locker when I opened it, it's nothing serious"
"Are you sure?"
"Yes mom!!!"
"Ok, ok" her mother said calming down
"Mom please don't tell dad."
"Why? you said it's not that serious?"
"I know but you know dad, he might try to make this situation worse."
"Mk I won't tell him. C'mon lets get you to a doctor." Her mom said as they both darted out the door.
The next day.....
Jade stayed home that day. She sat in her room while she was video chatting Denis on her phone. "Hahaha... So how's your black eye?" He asked
"Not good, but I do have to say it is healing."
"Well hopefully you can make it here tom-"
Jades phone beeped.
"Oh hold on Denis, I got a text."
"Who from?"
"Uh, Clarissa. What the hell?"
"You gave her your number?"
"NO!!!"
"Well then ignore it."
"No no, I wanna hear what this btch wants to say. Brb." She clicked the home button and went to "messages"
She reads the text: "meet me outside on the football field in 3 days. Since you think your so tough. Hopefully you come without a leash. Bye dog :laughing emoji:"
Jades heart pounds. She knew what Clarissa wanted to do, SHE WANTED TO FIGHT!!
She couldn't think of anything to do.
She was about to tell Denis but she knew that Denis was gonna snitch, or make things worse.
"I have to do this alone. Besides I'm not a coward, I'm Jade, I'm not gonna let this prep chic bring me down." She said to herself
3 days passed....
The day came
Clarissa came over at jades locker and slammed it close.
"3:00, be there btch." She slapped the books out of jades hand and walked off.
3:00 pm..... The bell rang and school was out
Jade came to the football field, with her backpack
"Oh look who showed up. I'm suprised you came, could've sworn you goth people like to whimp out of things." She laughed with her group of friends
"Atleast we goth people aren't cowards. You told me you wanted to fight me, you didn't mention anything about your little sidekicks. That just goes to show you, you can't do anything in life without having your little sidekicks do it for you. Sorry excuse for a wom.." before Jade could finish Clarissa came over and slapped her.
She chuckled. "Guys leave, I'll put this dog to sleep myself.
They all left. Jade wasn't gonna let herself get put down. No not again.
"Done?" Clarissa asked
Jade got up and slapped Clarissa so hard it left a welt across her cheek.
When Clarissa tried to throw in a punch, Jade blocked it, and sucker punched Clarissa right in the middle of her nose. Clarissa fell to the ground, nose bleeding.
"Get up you little ugly btch." Jade said
Clarissa got up and tried to launch towards Jade but Jade tackled Clarissa to the ground and repeatedly punched her face. She then got up, grabbed her hair, and kicked her face non stop. She slammed Clarissa's head on the ground and kicked her stomach non stop also. She then bent down one last time and painfully punched Clarissa's nose.
She stood above the now bloody, and bruised Clarissa, who was lying on the ground helpless. She looked up at Jade, crying and breathing heavily.
"Had enough?" Jade said grinning
"Yes yes yes, please don't beat my up again in sorry I'll never bully you ag---"
"SHUT UP!!!!!" Jade slapped Clarissa across her face.
"Btch talks to much." Jade said as she spat on her.
Clarissa backed away, crying
Jade then walked over to Clarissa, bent down and aggressively pulled her hair back, and whispered in her ear.
"Now you listen to me, btch if you ever mess with me again or even mention this to anyone, I'll drag your ass on these streets and mess you up so bad your own mother won't even regonize you. Do you understand me?" Clarissa nervously shook her head, trying to avoid getting beat up again.
"I'm one btch you don't wanna f*** with." Jade slammed Clarissa's head to the grass
Clarissa got up, crying with a bruised face, and limped away.
6 days later.......
It's been 6 days since Jade violently beat up the popular girl Clarissa.
"Haha Jade you beat up Clarissa so bad, she didn't even come to school for 3 days straight." Denis told Jade at jades house. They both chuckled.
"I put that btch in place---" the doorbell rang. "I'll get that." Jade got up and opened the door.
It was a cop
"Does Jadelyn erikson live here?"
"That would be me officer."
"Your under arrest."
To be continued........
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RykerHale
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| Joined: 15 Sep 2012 |
| Total Posts: 1926 |
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| 17 Mar 2016 08:46 PM |
It's time for your favorite pass time game . . .
"JUDGE. THAT. POST."
Hey viewers i'm Ryker NotABlackGuy Hale
And I'm gonna review this post.
*2 minutes passed*
MY EYES HAVE BEEN VIOLATED O_O
OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD
_________
That's all for
"JUDGE. THAT. POST."
Join us next week to judge OD'ers who try to join the RP forum!
"I remember when I was the Hero" | "Ryker Hale and Alice Ryker. The God Damn Dream Team" | "Cthulhu For President 2k16" | [ Account Used By Ryker and Alice] |
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marc12267
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| Joined: 25 Nov 2008 |
| Total Posts: 25897 |
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| 17 Mar 2016 08:50 PM |
Grammar errors, some disproportionate retribution I see, and useage of...stereotypes. Story has potential, though. 3.5/10.
"Oh my god, they killed TIX!" "YOU BASTARDS!" |
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tori15738
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| Joined: 06 Jul 2015 |
| Total Posts: 621 |
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| 17 Mar 2016 08:53 PM |
| @marc the stereotypes are the point of the story dumb f*** |
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tori15738
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| Joined: 06 Jul 2015 |
| Total Posts: 621 |
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marc12267
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| Joined: 25 Nov 2008 |
| Total Posts: 25897 |
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| 17 Mar 2016 08:57 PM |
But still. This is the RP forum. Expect burns from every corner.
"Oh my god, they killed TIX!" "YOU BASTARDS!" |
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| 17 Mar 2016 08:58 PM |
| Let me have a this prediction....Jade gets into jail and kills herself. Done, end of story. |
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| 17 Mar 2016 09:03 PM |
| This story.... I don't know how to describe it. |
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tori15738
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| Joined: 06 Jul 2015 |
| Total Posts: 621 |
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| 17 Mar 2016 09:26 PM |
| @marc well this is a bullying story, I don't know if you've ever experienced bullying but lots of bullies use stereotyping to put the victims down. I'm a goth, yes I didn't want to include stereotyping in my story but this is life. Life is full of challenges so I just have to be a bigger person about it. I'm sorry if this offends you but like I said, this is life and in life you experience a lot of things. And that's the truth |
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tori15738
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| Joined: 06 Jul 2015 |
| Total Posts: 621 |
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| 17 Mar 2016 09:32 PM |
@marc and you seriously think that I care about the burns? I don't give a f*** if they burn me so bad the sun will fill it, what I did was good and I'm proud of it nobody what anybody thinks
So while your trying to put me and my work down, look at yourself, because you don't even know a good story when it comes to one and I bet you wouldn't even have the balls to type a half paged story in front of a bunch of people in a forum
Try me btch |
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| 17 Mar 2016 09:33 PM |
Oh god the edge I think I need to go to the hospital
"DUPLO!? I'LL 'DUPLO' YOU IN THE NUTBAG!" |
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| 17 Mar 2016 09:58 PM |
Bored and in the mood to piss someone off
"@marc and you seriously think that I care about the burns? I don't give a f*** if they burn me so bad the sun will fill it, what I did was good and I'm proud of it nobody what anybody thinks"
How was it good? You wrote a mediocre story on a children's website on a sub-forum where nobody actually cares about you. You acomplished nothing, and you sure as hell didn't "do good", sorry bud.
"So while your trying to put me and my work down"
Marc wasn't even trying to put "you and your work down." He was giving honest criticism, and you are obviously incapable of treating it as such.
"look at yourself, because you don't even know a good story when it comes to one"
There are these things called opinions, love. Most people have them, and that leads to them liking or disliking different things. "Good story" is entirely subjective.
"and I bet you wouldn't even have the balls to type a half paged story in front of a bunch of people in a forum"
He's part of the RP sub-forum you dolt! All he does here is write stories in front of a bunch of people on a forum!
Off-topic, but what's the point in being goth? Honestly, what does it accomplish?
"DUPLO!? I'LL 'DUPLO' YOU IN THE NUTBAG!" |
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RykerHale
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| Joined: 15 Sep 2012 |
| Total Posts: 1926 |
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| 17 Mar 2016 09:59 PM |
@Tori
feel*
"Nobody what anybody thinks"
GG.
Yes tell me how you're story is better than a new york times best seller.
Listen Lil Tommy? Not your name? Now it is.
This story should be "Lil Tommy Presents: CRINGE 3. THE CRINGENING"
Like really. You post this on a site full of judgmental people and trolls (And then the few who aren't sh-t).
Half assed with grammar mistakes and expect everyone to drop what they're doing and praise your ass.
Also the story theme and idea. WOW NEVER HEARD THAT ONE BEFORE! Oh my god a goth girl . . . Every one, I introduce to you ...
THE FIRST STORY TO USE A GOTH GIRL, WE NEED TO GET THIS CHICK A PUBLISHER!!!
If I had a dollar for every part of this story that was good. I'd be broker than Lindsey Lohan in a dark alley way doing "Things" for drugs.
Now let's face it. If you can't take the hits, than you can't be a writer. No writer ever has a "Yeah that was easy, they published my book, no hate and no stress" kind of life.
If you can't take some trolls and bad reviews on a forum on a gaming site. Than you don't have what it takes to be a writer. Not just a writer but imagine actually being told by your boss that what you did was sh-t and to start it over. Are you gonna yell at him like you do on this forum? Because if you do, then you don't have a job anymore.
Your story was sh-t. Face the facts.
"I remember when I was the Hero" | "Ryker Hale and Alice Ryker. The God Damn Dream Team" | "Cthulhu For President 2k16" | [ Account Used By Ryker and Alice] |
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tori15738
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| Joined: 06 Jul 2015 |
| Total Posts: 621 |
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| 17 Mar 2016 10:02 PM |
@ryker you clearly didn't read what I said because I said to me my story was good, I didn't say it has to be good to anyone else
So stop trying to act like your a somebody YOUR A USELESS OVERRATED NOBODY. Face the facts bleached dog
And your family is sh-t you punk ass btch |
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tori15738
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| Joined: 06 Jul 2015 |
| Total Posts: 621 |
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| 17 Mar 2016 10:04 PM |
| @ryker and the fact that you made a full pages comment just to make me feel bad makes you look like the idiot in this situation |
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| 17 Mar 2016 10:06 PM |
"@ryker you clearly didn't read what I said because I said to me my story was good, I didn't say it has to be good to anyone else"
I think murder is good. Does that actually make it good? No. An extreme example, sure, but a working example none-the-less
"So stop trying to act like your a somebody YOUR A USELESS OVERRATED NOBODY. Face the facts bleached dog"
We will when you do, love. What the f**k does "bleached dog" mean anyway? Are you trying to call him white or something?
"And your family is sh-t you punk ass btch"
Personal insults really help your argument. No, seriously, they totally do.
"DUPLO!? I'LL 'DUPLO' YOU IN THE NUTBAG!" |
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tori15738
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| Joined: 06 Jul 2015 |
| Total Posts: 621 |
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| 17 Mar 2016 10:07 PM |
| @thelego who tf asked you to join in orange skinned h*e |
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| 17 Mar 2016 10:07 PM |
"@ryker and the fact that you made a full pages comment just to make me feel bad makes you look like the idiot in this situation "
I like how you're attempting to discredit him based on the length of his argument
"DUPLO!? I'LL 'DUPLO' YOU IN THE NUTBAG!" |
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| 17 Mar 2016 10:08 PM |
"@thelego who tf asked you to join in orange skinned h*e"
You posted this on a public forum, therefor anyone can enter into the argument at any time
"DUPLO!? I'LL 'DUPLO' YOU IN THE NUTBAG!" |
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Deshoras
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| Joined: 20 Jul 2013 |
| Total Posts: 4468 |
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| 17 Mar 2016 10:08 PM |
I don't know who's cringier, Ryker or OP.
OP murdered the English language and sent it straight to hell, while Ryker murdered comedy and became the Pauly Shore of this forum: easily forgettable and not very liked. |
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tori15738
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| Joined: 06 Jul 2015 |
| Total Posts: 621 |
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| 17 Mar 2016 10:09 PM |
| @thelego and your clearly just they're side kick, while your trying to side with and argue in the same format as them. You clearly don't know how to fight for yourself sorry excuse for a boy |
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| 17 Mar 2016 10:11 PM |
"@thelego and your clearly just they're side kick, while your trying to side with and argue in the same format as them. You clearly don't know how to fight for yourself sorry excuse for a boy"
Yeah, because forming my own opinions and posting my arguments before they even posted on this thread means I can't fight for myself. Lol. Try actually countering my points instead of coming up with half-baked excuses.
"DUPLO!? I'LL 'DUPLO' YOU IN THE NUTBAG!" |
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