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| 10 Mar 2016 09:48 PM |
| The Place of light had nothing to do fun as usual,they were too depressed they couldn't,they missed their friend too much ,they just need it back.The children were looking at a book,even though they don't have that much light,what else can they do?Everyone was depressed, just like The Place of Brightness.The Blue Trumpet made sound.Light Fairy:"I have a very important announcement to make Light Fairy ladies and gentlemen,the Princess of the Sky is going to see us later this day,she will help us get back together with our friend.People was in awe. King:Aren't any of you all going to cheer?People cheered and had happiness inside of them. |
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| 10 Mar 2016 11:12 PM |
| You know I went into this thread intending to explain that 'Undivided' means the same thing and rings a lot better than 'Not Divided', but then I read the OP and started questioning my life choices up to now. |
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MrStilts
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| Joined: 07 Nov 2012 |
| Total Posts: 3729 |
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| 11 Mar 2016 08:07 PM |
| Your story is bad, is what he was trying to say. |
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| 11 Mar 2016 10:52 PM |
| I don't care,you will see what I mean when you read further of the story :) |
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| 11 Mar 2016 11:01 PM |
| Nah, MrStilts pretty much hit the nail on the head there. |
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MrStilts
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| Joined: 07 Nov 2012 |
| Total Posts: 3729 |
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| 11 Mar 2016 11:02 PM |
| No, we're certain that it's most definitely bad. For starters, you seem to be under the delusion that you need to add the character's name behind a colon before their lines. And secondly, You don't seem to be aware a that a space is needed between sentence. |
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| 11 Mar 2016 11:11 PM |
| I don't know what you mean,what do you mean?I am not being sarcastic. |
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MrStilts
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| Joined: 07 Nov 2012 |
| Total Posts: 3729 |
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| 11 Mar 2016 11:14 PM |
[I am not being sarcastic.]
You don't seem to be aware of what a red flag is, either. |
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| 11 Mar 2016 11:24 PM |
Hang on I got this
Pirate:"your story is bad"?MrStilts:"I agree with pirate".
I'm no interpreter but that seems about right. |
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| 12 Mar 2016 12:08 PM |
| Thank you,I don't care,it is my story,I like to have fun with it. |
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