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| 16 Feb 2016 11:13 PM |
Constructive criticism please.
Plot Summary: Romeo and Juliet, but with clans.
Clanscrubs by Zygostatic
Act I [Setting: Vaktovian Training Camp] [Eddie, a VAC Level 2, and one other unnamed Level 2, are in an STS line] [Enter Trainer] Eddie AND Unnamed VAC: Greetings, sir. Trainer: Greetings. We will begin with faces. Left face! [Eddie and Unnamed VAC face left] Trainer: Good. Right incline! [Eddie does a right incline. Unnamed VAC does a full right turn. Trainer walks over to Unnamed VAC] Trainer: You have made your last mistake, you pitiful whelp. Get out of my sight. [Trainer kills the unnamed VAC.] Trainer: Center face. [Eddie faces the trainer.] Trainer: Young VAC, you are ready for your first mission. Head to the shuttle and await further orders. Eddie: Yes, sir. [Exit Eddie] [End Act]
Act II [Setting: FEAR's Fort Alianor] [Enter Sophie, F.E.A.R. Private] Sophie: It sure is a beautiful day. I think I'll take a nap. [Sophie lays down in a field] [Enter Unnamed General] General: Private! What are you doing laying out in the flowers again? You should be training with the others. Sophie: Training for what? We put down the rebellion in Sicca years ago, and we haven't had so much as a riot since. Sophie: The Amplus system is peaceful again, and it'll stay that way. Now, if you don't mind, I'll go back to- [Sophie is cut off by a loud crashing sound] General: Go back to the base and grab a rifle, and round up the others. I'll head over to see whats happening. Sophie: Right away, sir. [Exit Sophie Left, Exit General Right]
Act III [Eddie, an unnamed VAC and an unnamed VAK are hiding behind cover firing at a target offstage left. In the background is a crashed ship.] Unnamed VAC: Nice bloody landing you made there. Unnamed VAK: Hold your tounge or I'll cut it out with as much ease as I slaughter these Venezian pigs. Eddie: Watch out behind you! [Unnamed VA(C/K) killed by gunshots from behind them] Eddie: I can't do this on my own! I have to fall back! [Exit Eddie Left] [Enter Sophie Right, who then immediately exits left (following Eddie] |
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| 16 Feb 2016 11:14 PM |
Afraid you came to the wrong place bud
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| 16 Feb 2016 11:15 PM |
| i came to atr because its roblox, and c&g is tired of hearing about it |
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| 16 Feb 2016 11:15 PM |
And you think ATR wants to hear it?
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| 16 Feb 2016 11:17 PM |
how much cornier and lame can you get. i'm afraid nobody wants to here this
You cant stump the Trump. |
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| 16 Feb 2016 11:17 PM |
"And you think ATR wants to hear it?"
atr hasn't heard about it non-stop for the past 3 hours so you guys will want to hear it more than c&g does
and besides, isnt atr the forum that is supposed to be known as being friendly and helpful and nice |
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| 16 Feb 2016 11:18 PM |
Thats only during the day time, you crossed over... The twilightzone *intro music
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| 16 Feb 2016 11:19 PM |
at night everythings backwards atr is mean and c&g is nice WHAT IS GOING ON???? |
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| 16 Feb 2016 11:20 PM |
I am going to be totally honest with you about this play. I am lost... step up and get better at being a playwright
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Prevael
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| Joined: 05 May 2012 |
| Total Posts: 587 |
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| 16 Feb 2016 11:22 PM |
It was written well but I'm struggling to understand why you wrote it in the first place. I'm not flaming; I'm just being honest. Lol
It's Just That Germane |
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| 16 Feb 2016 11:25 PM |
"It was written well but I'm struggling to understand why you wrote it in the first place."
For fun, mostly. I enjoy writing, it's calming. And having the ability to create and destroy your own world through writing is great. I've also never tried playwriting and thought I'd give it a try. |
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| 16 Feb 2016 11:26 PM |
Every reply on this thread is cancerous
The Dank Memes loves the Memes ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) |
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Dunker11
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| Joined: 16 May 2009 |
| Total Posts: 3070 |
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| 16 Feb 2016 11:27 PM |
Seems to be progressing too quickly
Good news, everyone |
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Prevael
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| Joined: 05 May 2012 |
| Total Posts: 587 |
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| 16 Feb 2016 11:28 PM |
Eh, Forums are forums. I think it was written well. Lol
It's Just That Germane |
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| 17 Feb 2016 07:35 AM |
"Seems to be progressing too quickly"
I want it to be short. |
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Prevael
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| Joined: 05 May 2012 |
| Total Posts: 587 |
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| 17 Feb 2016 07:36 AM |
rekt
It's Just That Germane |
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| 17 Feb 2016 07:37 AM |
Shakespearean or riot
(~˘▾˘)~ flip ur squids ~(˘▾˘~) |
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mosgo
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| Joined: 05 Mar 2012 |
| Total Posts: 4476 |
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| 17 Feb 2016 07:39 AM |
good.
A flamewar consists of three things: A beginning, a middle and a twist. |
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