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| 16 Jan 2016 06:27 PM |
They mistake me as a culprit Nothing but sounds of people throwing fits Arrest me for my rights Why? It's very hard to deny Days are dark Just scars & marks Roaming in circles Longing for my home They wont leave me alone Sighs and lies Creates the fights Locked in rooms Take a walk in my shoes All trouble in my life Fined me I tried not to whine Learning lessons to not take what wasn't mine Won't be worth a shining dime Delightful like If I don't shine brighter than you thought Just remember, you mean a lot Out of nowhere we appear Don't expect us to leer Let us hide in the mist Days in the cold you resist Holding your hand through out the cells Birds chirp & Children ringing bells Vanishing times Growing like vines We are thoughts in someone else's mind This is the end of the line. |
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| 17 Jan 2016 03:12 AM |
| Just trying to make this poem alive. |
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| 17 Jan 2016 03:15 AM |
| Saying no won't make me rage but I won't be rude to a fellow beginner of Roblox. |
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| 17 Jan 2016 03:19 AM |
| but you asked if it was good arent you happy you got an answer ;c |
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| 17 Jan 2016 03:20 AM |
| Well yes of course, sorry if I offended you in any way I am just here to say sorry. |
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elkrai
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| Joined: 04 May 2008 |
| Total Posts: 7390 |
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| 17 Jan 2016 03:20 AM |
| not very good as a rap song |
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| 17 Jan 2016 03:22 AM |
| It's a poem not a rap song....... |
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elkrai
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| 17 Jan 2016 03:23 AM |
| yeah but i cant read poems without going a little eminem on them |
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| 17 Jan 2016 03:26 AM |
| Or maybe you can change the tone of the rap song you are thinking about. |
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| 17 Jan 2016 03:26 AM |
it's good, i enjoyed it! print("Ohh Haii There") |
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| 17 Jan 2016 03:27 AM |
no problem. c; print("Ohh Haii There") |
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Replaced
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| Joined: 15 Jul 2009 |
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| 17 Jan 2016 03:44 AM |
| try shortening your poem a bit and learn how to write in sonnet style |
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Replaced
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| 17 Jan 2016 04:21 AM |
| I did it is Italian, a little song. |
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Replaced
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| 17 Jan 2016 04:25 AM |
no
sonnets have a particular structure
and i thought a more structured way of writing poetry would be beneficial to you since your piece above is pretty long and drags on |
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| 17 Jan 2016 02:42 PM |
| Anyone else agree with Replaced? |
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| 17 Jan 2016 02:45 PM |
| Any how I will be thinking of ways to make it shorter. |
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Sernish
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| 17 Jan 2016 02:46 PM |
no cause tl
dadadanananagagaga |
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| 17 Jan 2016 02:46 PM |
I agree with Replaced.
Anyways, it was good. |
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| 17 Jan 2016 02:47 PM |
Thank you.
Does anyone else have any ideas of what my next poem should be about? |
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