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Re: [UAF] Urban Courier Edition VII

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RW3e is not online. RW3e
Joined: 18 Jul 2012
Total Posts: 1516
29 Jan 2016 07:56 PM
[Table of Contents]
[1: Current Announcements]
[2: General Promotions]
[3: January Activity Report]
[4: PO Advertisement]
[5: Declaration of War]
[6: Training Contest]
[7: The Fortune Cookie]
[8: Chemistry Jokes]
[9: The Clan Conflicts, Chapter 6]
[10: Patrian Puzzler]
[11: Editor's Note]

---

[Current Announcements] by RW3e
Hello Patrians, C&G and whoever else may be reading. This month, UAF has been quite busy. First and foremost, UAF has three new Generals in Auspicate, MortifiedDelegation and RW3e. Congratulations to them!
UAF also took up a semi-neutral position in the Ro-War, raiding several clans on both sides. We had several confirmed wins and tons of fun, even if it *did not count toward the Ro-War score.* In related news, a quick congratulation to REDFOR is in order for their win!
RW3e and Auspicate, with some minor help from other members of the HICOM, have rewritten the Beginners' Guide as well as several other official documents, so make sure you've read up! The new and improved guide can be found here: http://forum.roblox.com/Forum/ShowPost.aspx?PostID=182205270 . Since this seems to be quite a frequent question, it seems necessary to readdressed it here. The link to the Lieutenant Guide is *perfectly valid,* however there is a rogue period after the link, so it must be copied and pasted, instead of just clicked on.

In diplomatic news, UAF declared war on Orion Offensive, which was rejected by our possible opponents. A full article has been devoted to the topic, which can be found below. UAF also took what some believe to be a marginally risky move by declaring the Vaktovian Empire and WIJ as 'rivals.' Although both of these clans are frankly no longer in their primes, they are still a force to be reckoned with. It should be stressed that UAF will not be actively warring either of these clans, but our wonderful leader, Falsewarrior000, has said that we will intervene in any conflict they are in by supporting their opponent in any way we can. Also, at the beginning of the month, the high command announced that joint events will no longer be limited to allies. For more information: [ http://forum.roblox.com/Forum/ShowPost.aspx?PostID=181090630 .] Any clan may request to have such an event with UAF and the high ranks of UAF can request to host with non-allies. As usual, only Colonels and above may host a joint-event unsupervised. Although this accord has not yet been used, it certainly worth mentioning, in hopes that it may be soon.
Finally, we are sad to see former General and now General-Emeritus Acurius, officially retire from C&G: http://forum.roblox.com/Forum/ShowPost.aspx?PostID=182512369

---

[New Generals] by legosonic411 and RW3e
As of 1/11/2016 8:18 PM, UAF yet again has Generals to help the clan. Please give warm welcomes and congratulations to Generals RW3e, Auspicate and MortifiedDelegation. After a long absence of anyone occupying the rank following the retirements of Silentfox123 and Kling2296, UAF finally has returned to using this rank to its fullest extent. Our new Generals have already began speeding up UAF's processes domestically and diplomatically in everything from a general increase in events to revitalised negotiations with Orion Offensive, however futile.

---

[January Activity Report] by RW3e
It's always an argument within clans about who the most active high rank is. Of course there's bias in all of these arguments because different people are on at different times, so the Courier has set out to try and settle this argument by presenting some quick statistics about who hosts the most events and giving out some 'awards' for activity!

Before the numbers are actually I presented, it should be noted that being active and hosting are entirely different. However, there's no real way of tracking website activity, so this is what it's going off of. Also, it should be noted that this list only presents data from January 1st to January 28th, so it may not reflect previous activity. This also only includes (joint) trainings and (joint) raids. Supervising does not count.

So without further ado, we shall begin with our three wonderful Generals.
In first is MortifiedDelegation with a solid 15 events.
In a close second is RW3e with a respectable 12 events.
Finally, is Auspicate, with a quite disappointing 0 events.

Next, are the bulk of the HRs, our wonderful Colonels, who have been formatted into a much nicer looking list.
1) DominiumHex............... 9
2) UrbanPhoenix............... 8
3) Scorpiosis...................... 5
4) Oriyana.......................... 4
5) ResilientSprit................ 1
6) Shortextrememan123.. 0
7) Bakuganchamp7........... 0

Finally, we shall list our highest middle-rank, the Majors.
1) aguaroNrooeny............ 10
2) Sofapoppin................... 6
3) mrtotempole................ 4
4) Pokemonpro21............ 2
5) CuteCaterpillar101...... 0
6) Flaminquo................... 0
7) TwilightFox.................. 0
8) Scriws.......................... 0

So, our awards for Overall Activity and Most Active General go to MortifiedDelegation. The award for Most Active Colonel goes to DominiumHex and aguaroNrooney wins the award for Most Active Major. Purgence, although a Captain and not included in the results, deserves an honourable mention as the most active at his rank. Congratulations to these four!

However, these numbers also show something much less positive. Of course, school, other obligations and other jobs within UAF must be factored in, but some time must be delegated to hosting events. So, with this, final warnings will be issued to those who need to step up their hosting.

---

[PO Advertisement] by (PO Director) Scorpiosis
Do you ever wish someone would answer your important questions? Do you ever wish your opinions and thoughts could be shared and discussed with the high ranks of UAF? If your answer to at least one of those questions is yes, congratulations! There is a UAF division, which you may or may not have heard of, called People’s Operations. What PO does is help the members of UAF share their ideas and solve their problems. Every couple weeks PO has a meeting, which consists of 2 parts. One part is simply sharing your ideas to the others attending, and if supported enough, getting them passed on to the high ranks. The other part is a basic Q&A (question and answer) session, where you ask questions, and the host(s) or other members give you the answers, if they are known. And the best part- there is no rank requirement to join; you just have to be a UAF member! The group is great for quick questions and suggestions, but you don’t even need to be in the PO group to attend PO events! I hope to see you at the next PO meet-up, have a nice day!

UAF: People's Operations link; [ http://www.roblox.com/My/Groups.aspx?gid=638131 ]

---

[Declaration of War] by RW3e
On January 11th, UAF officially declared war on Orion Offensive, also known as OO, with one simple message: http://forum.roblox.com/Forum/ShowPost.aspx?PostID=181522311
As of then, UAF has carried out many successful raids on OO. They, of course, do not count toward the war-score, as the war had not officially started. As usual, before the war can start, rules and guidelines must be developed and agreed upon, or at least settled on, by both parties. Our hard-working Generals met with OO representatives several times in the past few weeks and have talked for hours about war terms and have tried to compromise with OO to reach final decisions. Many of the terms were still being decided with gradual, at best, negotiations. However, Orion Offensive proved to be exceedingly stubborn and refused to accept any compromises that did not follow their agenda.
So, because of this headstrong and unyielding attitude, Orion Offensive, as of the twenty-sixth of January, rejected UAF's declaration. Hopefully UAF can locate another, more honourable, war target soon.

---

[Training Contest] by RW3e
Before anything is written about the contest itself, it should be noted that the contest, which is administered by Captain Purgence, is in no way directly affiliated with the High Command. Since part of being a UAF member is taking initiative, Purgence will be allowed to continue his contest completely unsupervised. Although taking initiative generally connotes patrol and spars, it is entirely within the rules to host a contest, as long as it is in no way fraudulent.

With that said, the contest Purgence has orchestrated will be taking place at UAF's training grounds, Campus Phoenicis, with the explicitly stated purpose of boosting activity. As for the details of the contest itself, Purgence has offered some pretty solid rewards for ranking up at the Campus over the course of a few weeks. However, Purgence has noted that those who join UAF and come to as many trainings as they can just to win the money will not be victorius. He claims he will be keeping track of those who regularly attend events.
On to, then, what everyone is interested in: the prizes. Third place offers a good R$ 100, with second giving out R$ 200 and an additional 400 tickets. For first place, though, a whole R$ 700 will be given out, along with a prestigious spot in UAF's elite division, the Preliators. Marketplace fees may apply.

The event will take place until the tenth of February.

For more detailed information on the contest, it is recommended you read the full terms, which can be found here: http://forum.roblox.com/Forum/ShowPost.aspx?PostID=182461155

---

[The Fortune Cookie] by RW3e
Before anything else is written, I must admit that the title of this story was thought of fairly quickly and is no longer relevant to the story. It is with that that I am holding a contest to come up with a new name for my story. Any and all suggestions, no matter how... strange... will be considered. The best name, as decided by me, RW3e, will be presented in the next edition, after the story's hiatus is over.

---

[Chemistry Jokes] by Auspicate
You know, I have many jokes to share with you all... but I'm afraid they won't get a reaction.
But, here you go anyways.

1) Why do chemists learn about Ammonia first?
It's pretty basic stuff.

2) A chemist's favourite plant is stoichiome-tree.

3) What's a chemist's favourite ride at the carnival?
The ferrous wheel.

4)
RED ALERT! RED ALERT!

NaCl
--------
NaOH

THE BASE IS UNDER ASSAULT!

5) Chemistry puts the "cation" in education.

6) A neutron walks into a bar, and gets a drink.
The bartender says "For you, no charge."

7) If you're struggling with your chemistry degree, you better keep your ion the prize.

---

[The Clan Conflicts, Chapter 6] by Scorpiosis
All the UAF high ranks were mid-jump moments before the enemy soldiers began firing. Baku, Deck, Flam, Ori, RW3, Scorp, Silent, Totem, and Urban landed on the radio tower. Immediately, they began sliding down towards the building across the street.
“EVERYONE HOLD ON TIGHT!” Deck yelled whilst struggling to maintain a firm grip on the metal.
“What’s the matter Deck? Haven’t been to a playground before?” Urban teased, before standing up in surfboard position and continuing to ride the steel downwards. RW3 rolled his eyes.
“Did everyone make the jump?” Baku asked.
“I believe so,” Scorp responded. Soaring above them was Blox, using his wingsuit. Acur, Gears, and Kling were zip-lining using the crossbow zip-line. False and Ace shared the hang-glider with each other.
“Hey Scorp, if it weren’t for you, we’d either be dead or captured, thanks.” Oriyana complimented.
“You’re welcome, but we’re not out of danger yet, this is a high-risk plan. Anything could hap-“
“GUYS, THERE’S AN ENEMY HELO INCOMING FROM THE WEST!” Silent interrupted. All of the comrades turned their heads to see a helicopter similar, if not identical to the one Urban had blown up earlier, heading straight towards them.
“Figures,” Scorp said with a sigh.
“What are we going to do?” Flam asked.
“I don’t know, but we’d better act fast. I think the miniguns are spinning up,” Baku replied.
“Guns won’t do much. Anyone have any explosives?” RW3 asked. No one spoke up. “Alright then, brace for impact!” Suddenly, a barrage of bullets began to whiz past the high ranks.
“AGH!” Deck shrieked, looking at his hand- he had been shot clean through it.
“Urban, help Deck!” Flam shouted over the deafening noise of bullet-to-steel contact.
Bending down, Urban grabbed Deck’s injured hand and helped him stay on the beam. Deck grimaced in pain, but didn’t whine about it. Acur’s voice could be heard abruptly through the hundreds of shots being fired.
“NOOOOO!” he screamed with tears in his eyes. Acur then pulled out his gun and began firing at the helicopter, but with little effect.
“What’s gotten into him?” Silent asked.
“I don’t know,” responded Totem. Kling then looked at his comrades below and answered them.
“Gears was shot- directly through the head,” he paused for a moment, whimpering softly, “We’ll have to deal with him when we reach the roof.” The mood somehow became even grimmer. The roof wasn’t far for the high ranks now, however. Bullets continued to fly by, but at an increased rate.
“The helo is even closer now, odds are a couple more of us won’t make it!” Baku shouted.
“And I thought I was supposed to be the pessimist,” RW3 spoke quietly.
Acur’s counterfiring came to a stop, and Kling turned back once more to see two dead officers sliding down the zipline behind him. He muttered a swear word under his breath.
“I’ve been hit!” Blox yelled, moments before he, in the wingsuit, started to tilt downwards. He then spiraled down and crashed into Flaminquo, who began to plummet with him towards the street below. Flam’s screaming was soon inaudible, as the chopper was extremely close now.
“Prepare to land on the roof!” Acestrum shouted. Urban stood up and prepared to jump the small distance between the ruined hotel room ceiling and the building’s roof, with Decknut in his arms.
“Everybody jump!” Scorp yelled out. Someone shrieked in agony as the high ranks hit concrete.

---

[Patrian Puzzler] by RW3e
Firstly, congratulations to DominiumHex on being the first person to correctly answer last month's puzzler.

As usual, a quick review of the two, general rules:
1) To enter your answer, Message RW3e with a message entitled, 'UC Question' or something of that sort.
2) Only ONE answer is permitted per person, per puzzler, so guess wisely!

This month's puzzler is:
Who made the original UAF trench coat?

Again, make sure to submit all entries to myself, RW3e, via Private Message. If you cannot Message me, make sure to check your Privacy Settings.

---

[Editor's Note]
Thank you for reading this month's edition of the Courier. I hope we were informative and, in the case of chemistry jokes, absolutely hilarious. If you have any comments or critiques on our writing, please do not hesitate to reply to this thread, or send me (RW3e) a PM. If you have suggestions for future versions of the Courier, make sure to join today. [ http://www.roblox.com/My/Groups.aspx?gid=738737 ] By being part of the group, you can also take part in polls, votes and sometimes directly influence what we write in the Courier. Again, thank you for reading and until next month have a fantastic rest of your day.
(And for the previous edition: tightened*)



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RW3e is not online. RW3e
Joined: 18 Jul 2012
Total Posts: 1516
29 Jan 2016 07:57 PM
yay we did a thing


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Scorpiosis is not online. Scorpiosis
Joined: 11 Nov 2010
Total Posts: 3039
29 Jan 2016 08:00 PM
yay


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Pokemonpro21 is not online. Pokemonpro21
Joined: 21 Aug 2009
Total Posts: 2683
29 Jan 2016 08:01 PM
"Pokemonpro21............ 2"
Rip me.
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Oriyana is not online. Oriyana
Joined: 16 Feb 2013
Total Posts: 285
29 Jan 2016 08:17 PM
propaganda11111
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RW3e is not online. RW3e
Joined: 18 Jul 2012
Total Posts: 1516
29 Jan 2016 08:19 PM
I just want to quickly note, in the trianing report, it took literally 20 minutes to get all the numbers in line like that. the things I do for you nerds.


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RW3e is not online. RW3e
Joined: 18 Jul 2012
Total Posts: 1516
29 Jan 2016 08:21 PM
actually presented*

oops.

#rw3forbesteditor2k16


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Joe5132 is not online. Joe5132
Joined: 14 May 2011
Total Posts: 1586
29 Jan 2016 09:04 PM
the urban courier is good
good read xD
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RW3e is not online. RW3e
Joined: 18 Jul 2012
Total Posts: 1516
29 Jan 2016 09:11 PM
Thanks Joe C:


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aguaroNrooney is not online. aguaroNrooney
Joined: 19 Apr 2014
Total Posts: 4952
29 Jan 2016 09:15 PM
That was great, I loved it. Chemistry jokes were entertaining once again.
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AwsomeManSkate is not online. AwsomeManSkate
Joined: 03 Jul 2014
Total Posts: 653
30 Jan 2016 02:05 AM
Another great edition. The effort being put into these editions is huge, well done.
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Zanziber is not online. Zanziber
Joined: 08 Dec 2008
Total Posts: 5088
30 Jan 2016 02:24 AM
OO declined your war?
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Akagi is not online. Akagi
Joined: 01 Aug 2009
Total Posts: 62
30 Jan 2016 02:44 AM
Propaganda if I've ever seen it. Your clan is dying and becoming irrelevant. Most clans could take you all on. Oh wait, you'll back out first. This is like the stuff out of 1984. BB IS DOUBLEPLUSGOOD?!
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aguaroNrooney is not online. aguaroNrooney
Joined: 19 Apr 2014
Total Posts: 4952
30 Jan 2016 03:02 AM
No, they really did decline our war. And we are not dying, we still have active members, and events reguarly. And tell me how we are irrelevant? We are still a warring military roblox group who are currently looking for war, so we are relevant.
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RW3e is not online. RW3e
Joined: 18 Jul 2012
Total Posts: 1516
30 Jan 2016 01:11 PM
@zanziber, yeah, they were... difficult... to negotiate with and refused.


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Zanziber is not online. Zanziber
Joined: 08 Dec 2008
Total Posts: 5088
30 Jan 2016 03:33 PM
what do you mean difficult? the only thing uaf needs to do is remove laggy water terrain from its fort lol
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Falsewarrior000 is not online. Falsewarrior000
Joined: 16 Jul 2010
Total Posts: 14507
30 Jan 2016 04:38 PM
@Zanziber

Exterity has sent me a PM and explained that OO would rather work on internal reforms than fight a war at this time.
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Purgence is not online. Purgence
Joined: 27 Jan 2013
Total Posts: 2206
01 Feb 2016 04:57 PM
TOO FUNNY
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Jugganaught is not online. Jugganaught
Joined: 18 Jul 2009
Total Posts: 1380
03 Feb 2016 08:34 AM
Salt


Veteran of Clans.
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