generic image
Processing...
  • Games
  • Catalog
  • Develop
  • Robux
  • Search in Players
  • Search in Games
  • Search in Catalog
  • Search in Groups
  • Search in Library
  • Log In
  • Sign Up
  • Games
  • Catalog
  • Develop
  • Robux
We use cookies to offer you a better experience. By using Roblox.com, you are agreeing to our Privacy and Cookie Policy.
   
ROBLOX Forum » Role-Playing
Home Search
 

Re: ooc: is my writing too wordy and unweildy

Previous Thread :: Next Thread 
PickachuGirl is not online. PickachuGirl
Joined: 19 Apr 2008
Total Posts: 42645
29 Jan 2016 10:52 AM
is it filled with too much fluff?

recent imperfect example:

Phoebe leaned straight back within the seat, with her arms crossed sightly against her chest. She glared out the window with a rather upset expression, her eyebrows furrowed together as she pondered about the time of the event of when they would finally arrive at school. It was bad enough this trip was taking what it felt like hours, might as well be weeks, but the silence was just plain annoying to her. With a stiff neck, she turned over towards the other person who appeared to be sitting across from her. She leaned forward, and coughed briefly in her hand to clear her throat, before speaking. "H... Hey! Hey, what's your name?"

*Sitting Alone In A Corner* [Diary Entry #932] Well Im Here, Last Man On Earth I Used The World Scaner No One's Here, No one to Talk To, No One To Go Outside With Me I Think This Is It For Me, Goodbye World.
Report Abuse
piratetrev is not online. piratetrev
Joined: 27 Aug 2010
Total Posts: 2241
29 Jan 2016 10:55 AM
"My name is Bond, James Bond." He replied.

In all seriousness though, I think it is fine.
Report Abuse
Ultraelite is not online. Ultraelite
Joined: 07 Dec 2009
Total Posts: 12194
29 Jan 2016 10:57 AM
is k

will you turn it into a story that lasts 10hrs
Report Abuse
PickachuGirl is not online. PickachuGirl
Joined: 19 Apr 2008
Total Posts: 42645
29 Jan 2016 10:59 AM
idk worried that my rping and my posts in general are too long for no reason except that i just like typing

*Sitting Alone In A Corner* [Diary Entry #932] Well Im Here, Last Man On Earth I Used The World Scaner No One's Here, No one to Talk To, No One To Go Outside With Me I Think This Is It For Me, Goodbye World.
Report Abuse
Ultraelite is not online. Ultraelite
Joined: 07 Dec 2009
Total Posts: 12194
29 Jan 2016 11:00 AM
nothing wrong with long posts

unless they're like

6 long paragraphs describing a foot
Report Abuse
PickachuGirl is not online. PickachuGirl
Joined: 19 Apr 2008
Total Posts: 42645
29 Jan 2016 11:04 AM
hh alright

thanks ultra

*Sitting Alone In A Corner* [Diary Entry #932] Well Im Here, Last Man On Earth I Used The World Scaner No One's Here, No one to Talk To, No One To Go Outside With Me I Think This Is It For Me, Goodbye World.
Report Abuse
piratetrev is not online. piratetrev
Joined: 27 Aug 2010
Total Posts: 2241
29 Jan 2016 11:10 AM
My foot is the footiest foot, the smelliest foot of foots. They are the largest foot of foots and are called my feet because they have a feat over all other foots. Other foots are jealous because my foot is pink. A pink foot is better than tan foot.

My foot is the footiest foot of the foot empire because it is the gigantic, pink and purple stripped tentacle foot with a ton of tiny feet on those tentacles. My foot is special because it is the footiest of foots because it is a alien foot with tentacles and tiny foots on them.

My foot is the footiest foot because it was gold. A golden, gigantic, pink, purple striped tentacle foot with a tony of tiny feet on those tentacles laid with gold. You are jealous of my foot because it is the footiest foot of all. Did I mention it knows Karate? It can beat a 1,000 feet because it is the footiest of the foot.

If you try to foot my foot of the footiest of the foot empire then you will be kicked by my Karate foot. You are jealous of my foot because it is special, a special alien foot. That is why it is the footiest foot of the foot empire in the entire foot universe and laid with gold. I stole the good from other foot.

By this time I wonder why you are still reading this, unless you are foot jealous of the footiest of the foot. My foot is both small adn large, it can transform, you are jealous of my footiest foot of the foot empire and foot universe in the entire alien foot species. Jelly.

And that is where I end my paragraph about the footiest foot of the foot empire in the foot universe. A gigantic, small and large, pink and purple stripped, tentacle ridden with tiny feet, golden foot.

I took the 6 paragraph about a foot dare.
Report Abuse
PawzKat is not online. PawzKat
Joined: 22 Apr 2012
Total Posts: 21011
29 Jan 2016 11:12 AM
Not at all, I wish I could incorporate more fluffy details into my writing. I'm envious. ;p
Report Abuse
birmie123 is not online. birmie123
Joined: 08 May 2014
Total Posts: 5893
29 Jan 2016 11:18 AM
personally i think that it's good to add loads of detail

although i've met some people that think detail is good but there can be too much detail

minecraft hard drilling is my favorite
Report Abuse
jennapenna2 is not online. jennapenna2
Joined: 03 Dec 2010
Total Posts: 10335
29 Jan 2016 11:31 AM
I personally like longer replies.
Report Abuse
PhantomEssence is not online. PhantomEssence
Joined: 30 Jan 2015
Total Posts: 3895
29 Jan 2016 12:10 PM
""My name is Bond, James Bond." He replied."

sorry but i need to do this

"Bond, James Bond" replied a calm voice from the other side. With deep staring eyes her unexpected visitor pondered into her presence as she couldn't but ask herself from where the envoy of espionage had come from. A dark silhouette laid beyond the impeccable suit he wore with pride, making her inmediatly aknowledge the danger it meant to even raise her voice to him.

Report Abuse
evilboo10 is not online. evilboo10
Joined: 20 Sep 2011
Total Posts: 14298
29 Jan 2016 12:13 PM
I don't see anything wrong with it at all.
Report Abuse
piratetrev is not online. piratetrev
Joined: 27 Aug 2010
Total Posts: 2241
29 Jan 2016 12:14 PM
Meanwhile, in the other seat, a drunkard is swinging around a bottle of v0dka and screaming "Bush did 9/11!" before getting thrown off the bus. Sadly for James Bond, that was the guy who planted the bomb under his seat. Also the guy who has the detonator. With a single click, Jame's seat explodes into dust, blowing his legs off and his body into the roof of the bus, and making Phoebe fall back into her seat as shrapnel scratched and hit her face, causing her to go blind in one eye, and the bus to stop as a wheel was blown off in the process.
Report Abuse
birmie123 is not online. birmie123
Joined: 08 May 2014
Total Posts: 5893
29 Jan 2016 12:22 PM
when evil boo posts

minecraft hard drilling is my favorite
Report Abuse
Crystakyl is not online. Crystakyl
Joined: 23 Apr 2011
Total Posts: 2381
29 Jan 2016 12:24 PM
I think it's great to put detail into posts and make them fluffy. Fluffy things are the best.

~ "Long live the purple shirt." ~
Report Abuse
PawzKat is not online. PawzKat
Joined: 22 Apr 2012
Total Posts: 21011
29 Jan 2016 12:25 PM
when evil boo posts[x2]
Report Abuse
evilboo10 is not online. evilboo10
Joined: 20 Sep 2011
Total Posts: 14298
29 Jan 2016 12:27 PM
when evil boo posts [x3]
Report Abuse
PickachuGirl is not online. PickachuGirl
Joined: 19 Apr 2008
Total Posts: 42645
29 Jan 2016 12:31 PM
when evil boo posts [x4]

dude i missed you

where have you been?

*Sitting Alone In A Corner* [Diary Entry #932] Well Im Here, Last Man On Earth I Used The World Scaner No One's Here, No one to Talk To, No One To Go Outside With Me I Think This Is It For Me, Goodbye World.
Report Abuse
Tailsdahfox136 is not online. Tailsdahfox136
Joined: 16 May 2010
Total Posts: 4488
29 Jan 2016 01:22 PM
Pick, your writing is glorious. As a D&D DM, I wish I could describe things in such great detail.
Report Abuse
Ultraelite is not online. Ultraelite
Joined: 07 Dec 2009
Total Posts: 12194
29 Jan 2016 01:55 PM
foot paragraphs be invading
Report Abuse
PawzKat is not online. PawzKat
Joined: 22 Apr 2012
Total Posts: 21011
29 Jan 2016 01:55 PM
I wish I could describe things in such great detail.[x2]
Report Abuse
PickachuGirl is not online. PickachuGirl
Joined: 19 Apr 2008
Total Posts: 42645
29 Jan 2016 02:03 PM
aw you guys flatter me too much <3

thanks
Report Abuse
PawzKat is not online. PawzKat
Joined: 22 Apr 2012
Total Posts: 21011
29 Jan 2016 02:09 PM
But of course. You're an incredible writer, and your characters are among my favourites.
Report Abuse
vamking12 is not online. vamking12
Joined: 08 May 2010
Total Posts: 17651
29 Jan 2016 02:10 PM
Pick is k
Report Abuse
PhantomEssence is not online. PhantomEssence
Joined: 30 Jan 2015
Total Posts: 3895
29 Jan 2016 05:40 PM
"your writing is glorious. As a D&D DM, I wish I could describe things in such great detail."

This is what happens when flattery turns into lying
Report Abuse
Previous Thread :: Next Thread 
Page 1 of 1
 
 
ROBLOX Forum » Role-Playing
   
 
   
  • About Us
  • Jobs
  • Blog
  • Parents
  • Help
  • Terms
  • Privacy

©2017 Roblox Corporation. Roblox, the Roblox logo, Robux, Bloxy, and Powering Imagination are among our registered and unregistered trademarks in the U.S. and other countries.



Progress
Starting Roblox...
Connecting to Players...
R R

Roblox is now loading. Get ready to play!

R R

You're moments away from getting into the game!

Click here for help

Check Remember my choice and click Launch Application in the dialog box above to join games faster in the future!

Gameplay sponsored by:
Loading 0% - Starting game...
Get more with Builders Club! Join Builders Club
Choose Your Avatar
I have an account
generic image