Ozzymen
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| Joined: 26 May 2011 |
| Total Posts: 7115 |
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| 10 Dec 2015 09:42 PM |
(If you'd like to be part of the story, simply comment below your ROBLOX username, this is also based in the 'Amend' map)
I look over my shoulder attempting to calculate how many more miles it'd be until I reach Amend. I take a deep breath and suck in the breeze of the salt from the ocean, which isn't as blue as I remembered it. I had been searching these docks for a while now, with no sign of anyone still here, I look down at my feet and kick a can with a sigh. I haven't ate in a day or two but the opened desert jeep is almost done, just one more wheel. As I finish saying that I hear a rattle of footsteps coming my way, I dunck underneath a table that's deep in the shadows just as they walk past me and come across my desert jeep, two of them, freshies as it looks.
I see one pull out a rifle that looks like an M1 GARAND, the other one pulls out a crowbar and moves away from his partner with the faint word of "wheel" coming from his direction. They plan to steal my desert jeep? I think not, I'd give my life for that, it took me forever to get those parts and I need their food anyhow, it's a kill or be killed world. As quiet as I can be I put a round into my AUTO5 but you can only be so quiet, as soon as I do it the gun clicks and the M1 GARAND holder is turning, before he can face me I blast him and he dies instantly from how close I was to him. I jump out from my table running at the guy with the crowbar and as he frantically reaches for his MAK, I hatchet him in the head. As I search his body, I find the wheel I'm looking for and some more MAK ammo. I take their food, put some gasoline from my jerry can on their bodies, burn them and fix up the car.
As I'm driving away I notice the smoke gather more and more zombies and with all the dust I couldn't tell but what looked like for a second a family entering the docks, I ignore it thinking it was just the dust until I finally hear the screams of pain and agony and continue driving with a blank stare on my face. I'm thinking about what I just did to those two men and that family without paying attention until I look up, to see the Amend sign directly in front of me, and for a moment you could see a smile on my face..right until I hear the 'click'. (That's chapter 1, if you liked it, I'll continue to post! Just let me know and give positive feedback) |
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Ozzymen
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| Joined: 26 May 2011 |
| Total Posts: 7115 |
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| 10 Dec 2015 09:47 PM |
Thanks, is it actually good or were you just bored at parts? You don't have to be nice, if it wasn't really good just let me know. :)
#code print 'add 17,899 posts to my count' end --green |
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Phorix
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| Joined: 09 May 2010 |
| Total Posts: 3869 |
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Ozzymen
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| Joined: 26 May 2011 |
| Total Posts: 7115 |
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| 10 Dec 2015 10:19 PM |
appreciated. and what's not good about it??
#code print 'add 17,899 posts to my count' end --green |
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Phorix
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| Joined: 09 May 2010 |
| Total Posts: 3869 |
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Ozzymen
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| Joined: 26 May 2011 |
| Total Posts: 7115 |
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| 10 Dec 2015 11:58 PM |
okay
#code print 'add 17,899 posts to my count' end --green |
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Emboar98
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| Joined: 29 Jan 2013 |
| Total Posts: 1112 |
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| 10 Dec 2015 11:59 PM |
apoc rising sucks Amaze Sweet Slice
WATER DOSE \(• ◡ •)/ |
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| 11 Dec 2015 12:00 AM |
soooo is this like a virtual novel? well it's good either way!
http://www.roblox.com/nobody-cares-item?id=127287741 |
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Ozzymen
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| Joined: 26 May 2011 |
| Total Posts: 7115 |
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| 11 Dec 2015 12:02 AM |
gore will come! and thank you everyone. any helpful feedback or improvement you'd like to see?
#code print 'add 17,899 posts to my count' end --green |
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iProRecon
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| Joined: 12 Aug 2012 |
| Total Posts: 2655 |
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| 11 Dec 2015 12:05 AM |
| Love it. Could I be apart of the story? Username is iProRecon |
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| 11 Dec 2015 12:07 AM |
It's great, now let me be part of this story :3
SirPenguino |
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| 11 Dec 2015 12:08 AM |
Name's swordwilder. and....yeah..i would like to see more tension like "I could hear the footsteps of the zombie, there was a horde, i knew there was nothing i could do...the footsteps grew louder and louder"
http://www.roblox.com/nobody-cares-item?id=127287741 |
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| 11 Dec 2015 12:11 AM |
| It's a nice story, but you might want to add one or two more events just to make it more spacious |
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LeHyb
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| Joined: 04 Jul 2014 |
| Total Posts: 5755 |
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| 11 Dec 2015 12:15 AM |
| Love it! Would be great to be in it. |
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| 11 Dec 2015 12:17 AM |
tl;dr
👌👀 http://www.roblox.com/cool-cat-item?id=320136767 👌👀 |
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