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Re: Rise of the Apocalypse; Chapter 1 (Apocalypse Rising story)

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Ozzymen is not online. Ozzymen
Joined: 26 May 2011
Total Posts: 7115
10 Dec 2015 09:42 PM
(If you'd like to be part of the story, simply comment below your ROBLOX username, this is also based in the 'Amend' map)

I look over my shoulder attempting to calculate how many more miles it'd be until I reach Amend. I take a deep breath and suck in the breeze of the salt from the ocean, which isn't as blue as I remembered it. I had been searching these docks for a while now, with no sign of anyone still here, I look down at my feet and kick a can with a sigh. I haven't ate in a day or two but the opened desert jeep is almost done, just one more wheel. As I finish saying that I hear a rattle of footsteps coming my way, I dunck underneath a table that's deep in the shadows just as they walk past me and come across my desert jeep, two of them, freshies as it looks.

I see one pull out a rifle that looks like an M1 GARAND, the other one pulls out a crowbar and moves away from his partner with the faint word of "wheel" coming from his direction. They plan to steal my desert jeep? I think not, I'd give my life for that, it took me forever to get those parts and I need their food anyhow, it's a kill or be killed world. As quiet as I can be I put a round into my AUTO5 but you can only be so quiet, as soon as I do it the gun clicks and the M1 GARAND holder is turning, before he can face me I blast him and he dies instantly from how close I was to him.
I jump out from my table running at the guy with the crowbar and as he frantically reaches for his MAK, I hatchet him in the head. As I search his body, I find the wheel I'm looking for and some more MAK ammo. I take their food, put some gasoline from my jerry can on their bodies, burn them and fix up the car.

As I'm driving away I notice the smoke gather more and more zombies and with all the dust I couldn't tell but what looked like for a second a family entering the docks, I ignore it thinking it was just the dust until I finally hear the screams of pain and agony and continue driving with a blank stare on my face.
I'm thinking about what I just did to those two men and that family without paying attention until I look up, to see the Amend sign directly in front of me, and for a moment you could see a smile on my face..right until I hear the 'click'.
(That's chapter 1, if you liked it, I'll continue to post! Just let me know and give positive feedback)
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BrickGenesis is not online. BrickGenesis
Joined: 08 Dec 2009
Total Posts: 4593
10 Dec 2015 09:43 PM
Pretty good!
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Ozzymen is not online. Ozzymen
Joined: 26 May 2011
Total Posts: 7115
10 Dec 2015 09:47 PM
Thanks, is it actually good or were you just bored at parts? You don't have to be nice, if it wasn't really good just let me know. :)

#code print 'add 17,899 posts to my count' end --green
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Phorix is not online. Phorix
Joined: 09 May 2010
Total Posts: 3869
10 Dec 2015 09:47 PM
It's not good.
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GreatArtisticYouth is not online. GreatArtisticYouth
Joined: 22 Dec 2011
Total Posts: 3348
10 Dec 2015 09:54 PM
I like it!
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Ozzymen is not online. Ozzymen
Joined: 26 May 2011
Total Posts: 7115
10 Dec 2015 10:19 PM
appreciated. and what's not good about it??

#code print 'add 17,899 posts to my count' end --green
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Phorix is not online. Phorix
Joined: 09 May 2010
Total Posts: 3869
10 Dec 2015 10:21 PM
Everything.
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Ozzymen is not online. Ozzymen
Joined: 26 May 2011
Total Posts: 7115
10 Dec 2015 11:58 PM
okay

#code print 'add 17,899 posts to my count' end --green
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Emboar98 is not online. Emboar98
Joined: 29 Jan 2013
Total Posts: 1112
10 Dec 2015 11:59 PM
apoc rising sucks Amaze Sweet Slice



WATER DOSE \(• ◡ •)/
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swordwilder is not online. swordwilder
Joined: 13 Jun 2013
Total Posts: 11505
11 Dec 2015 12:00 AM
soooo is this like a virtual novel? well it's good either way!



http://www.roblox.com/nobody-cares-item?id=127287741
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crazyawsomejames is not online. crazyawsomejames
Joined: 16 Apr 2012
Total Posts: 16167
11 Dec 2015 12:01 AM
this is nice
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BaconParadox is not online. BaconParadox
Joined: 24 Nov 2012
Total Posts: 44255
11 Dec 2015 12:01 AM
0/10 no gore
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Ozzymen is not online. Ozzymen
Joined: 26 May 2011
Total Posts: 7115
11 Dec 2015 12:02 AM
gore will come! and thank you everyone. any helpful feedback or improvement you'd like to see?

#code print 'add 17,899 posts to my count' end --green
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iProRecon is not online. iProRecon
Joined: 12 Aug 2012
Total Posts: 2655
11 Dec 2015 12:05 AM
Love it. Could I be apart of the story? Username is iProRecon
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SirPenguino is not online. SirPenguino
Joined: 19 Mar 2012
Total Posts: 68
11 Dec 2015 12:07 AM
It's great, now let me be part of this story :3

SirPenguino
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swordwilder is not online. swordwilder
Joined: 13 Jun 2013
Total Posts: 11505
11 Dec 2015 12:08 AM
Name's swordwilder. and....yeah..i would like to see more tension like "I could hear the footsteps of the zombie, there was a horde, i knew there was nothing i could do...the footsteps grew louder and louder"



http://www.roblox.com/nobody-cares-item?id=127287741
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workedclocks is not online. workedclocks
Joined: 25 Dec 2014
Total Posts: 2529
11 Dec 2015 12:09 AM
me


work those clocks !
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BaconParadox is not online. BaconParadox
Joined: 24 Nov 2012
Total Posts: 44255
11 Dec 2015 12:11 AM
It's a nice story, but you might want to add one or two more events just to make it more spacious
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LeHyb is not online. LeHyb
Joined: 04 Jul 2014
Total Posts: 5755
11 Dec 2015 12:15 AM
Love it! Would be great to be in it.
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fafieanie123 is not online. fafieanie123
Joined: 30 Nov 2013
Total Posts: 1416
11 Dec 2015 12:17 AM
tl;dr


👌👀 http://www.roblox.com/cool-cat-item?id=320136767 👌👀
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