generic image
Processing...
  • Games
  • Catalog
  • Develop
  • Robux
  • Search in Players
  • Search in Games
  • Search in Catalog
  • Search in Groups
  • Search in Library
  • Log In
  • Sign Up
  • Games
  • Catalog
  • Develop
  • Robux
   
ROBLOX Forum » Club Houses » Off Topic
Home Search
 

Re: 6th grade essay help needed

Previous Thread :: Next Thread 
jackhu80 is not online. jackhu80
Joined: 11 Aug 2012
Total Posts: 242
06 Dec 2015 10:14 PM
[ Content Deleted ]
Report Abuse
penguinology is not online. penguinology
Joined: 15 Aug 2010
Total Posts: 25711
06 Dec 2015 10:14 PM
cool
Report Abuse
ConnorV5 is not online. ConnorV5
Joined: 05 Aug 2014
Total Posts: 1320
06 Dec 2015 10:15 PM
Im using this essay for my language arts class, thanks. Im not giving you credit
Report Abuse
master35475 is not online. master35475
Joined: 22 Jun 2014
Total Posts: 1142
06 Dec 2015 10:16 PM
grammar issues
Report Abuse
jackhu80 is not online. jackhu80
Joined: 11 Aug 2012
Total Posts: 242
06 Dec 2015 10:17 PM
can someone HELP me point out my mistakes i gotta hand it in tommrrow



how many potatoes does take to fix a lightbulb
Report Abuse
jackhu80 is not online. jackhu80
Joined: 11 Aug 2012
Total Posts: 242
06 Dec 2015 10:18 PM
ump



how many potatoes does take to fix a lightbulb
Report Abuse
gabejoss is not online. gabejoss
Joined: 05 Jul 2013
Total Posts: 399
06 Dec 2015 10:19 PM
Grammar
Report Abuse
jackhu80 is not online. jackhu80
Joined: 11 Aug 2012
Total Posts: 242
06 Dec 2015 10:20 PM
maaaan



how many potatoes does take to fix a lightbulb
Report Abuse
jackhu80 is not online. jackhu80
Joined: 11 Aug 2012
Total Posts: 242
06 Dec 2015 10:20 PM
POINT IT OUT



how many potatoes does take to fix a lightbulb
Report Abuse
gabejoss is not online. gabejoss
Joined: 05 Jul 2013
Total Posts: 399
06 Dec 2015 10:21 PM
You need apostrophes
Report Abuse
jackhu80 is not online. jackhu80
Joined: 11 Aug 2012
Total Posts: 242
06 Dec 2015 10:22 PM
thank you



how many potatoes does take to fix a lightbulb
Report Abuse
PokemonEevee is online. PokemonEevee
Joined: 01 Aug 2009
Total Posts: 59522
06 Dec 2015 10:25 PM
fixed all the grammatical errors:

Dragonwings Essay
Should Windrider Sacrifice A Dream To Pursue Another?
One pursues many things in life. Those are our dreams. They are named ‘dreams’ for a reason. A dream is something you have not already achieved or possessed. It is usually something someone's after. In a book named “DragonWings”, Windrider has to decide between 2 dreams: the dream of flight or the dream of family. He decides he has to sacrifice one for another. If you do not understand, DragonWings's about Moon Shadow, a boy who leaves his mother and grandmother in the Middle Kingdom, also known as China. He immigrates to join his father there, Windrider in the ‘Demon’s land’. They are then caught in unthinkable situations from meeting a stranger to being stuck in a earthquake. Wind rider should not sacrifice either of his dreams to achieve another that is based on his situation.
Windrider should pursue both his dreams without giving up his vision of being with his wife and his mother in law. He is so close to both of his desires and it is just in reach of his hands if he just gave a single, dense push. However, he’s already pushing, you see. Windrider is saving up for his family visit here, according to chapter 7. He is also eager to protect his child; moments can be found when Black Dog was beaten and given severe injuries after his child was robbed of his money that he collected. He is not only getting close to that dream, but he is cutting close to his dream of flight. He is already in contact to the future flight pioneers- the Wright Brothers! Also, Windrider himself has already had tasted the dream. He flew in the air with his airplane for a short period of time at the end of chapter 12. Windrider is not fooling around in his spare time. He is building model airplanes according to Moon Shadow. The little push I was earlier referring to was confidence. He can do, but his spirit can not.
Moon Shadow’s father can achieve both ambitions, but it does not mean you, or anyone can. Whether you can reach is all based on your situation. A situation where you cannot reach your goal is when you are a 96 year old hobo in 1776, hoping to go back in time. But a example where you can would be is if you were a 30 year old phd who graduated from a technology major in the year 3986. The only way to reach all aspirations unconditionally is to have infinite time. “Time is of the essence”.
According to the text and evidence that was recently displayed, we can not undeniably conclude that Windrider’s dreams are absolutely achievable at his current situation. Unfortunately, the ability to pursue multiple dreams is impossible. The truth may be harsh but you have to accept it.
Report Abuse
jackhu80 is not online. jackhu80
Joined: 11 Aug 2012
Total Posts: 242
06 Dec 2015 10:26 PM
@negations lol what no it didnt say anything bout this in the hting



how many potatoes does take to fix a lightbulb
Report Abuse
CPRAHQ is not online. CPRAHQ
Joined: 26 Feb 2012
Total Posts: 3511
06 Dec 2015 10:26 PM
ty im taking it for english >:)


There's nothing here
Report Abuse
Negations is online. Negations
Joined: 09 Aug 2010
Total Posts: 17724
06 Dec 2015 10:28 PM
Told you
Now it got cd'd
Gg
Report Abuse
Malachq is not online. Malachq
Joined: 09 Jun 2012
Total Posts: 718
06 Dec 2015 10:30 PM
Minimod alert..
Report Abuse
PuNiShEr5665 is not online. PuNiShEr5665
Joined: 12 Aug 2009
Total Posts: 33713
06 Dec 2015 10:33 PM
ok, so I started editing it
and
you have a lot of repetitive sentences in the first paragraph. You also are not smoothly connecting your essay as you go along.

For example:

" In a book named “DragonWings”, Windrider has to decide between 2 dreams: the dream of flight or the dream of family. He decides he has to sacrifice one for another. If you do not understand, DragonWings's about Moon Shadow, a boy who leaves his mother and grandmother in the Middle Kingdom, also known as China."

The connection of the two stories is very abrupt and reading further past this leaves the reader more confused.
Report Abuse
Previous Thread :: Next Thread 
Page 1 of 1
 
 
ROBLOX Forum » Club Houses » Off Topic
   
 
   
  • About Us
  • Jobs
  • Blog
  • Parents
  • Help
  • Terms
  • Privacy

©2017 Roblox Corporation. Roblox, the Roblox logo, Robux, Bloxy, and Powering Imagination are among our registered and unregistered trademarks in the U.S. and other countries.



Progress
Starting Roblox...
Connecting to Players...
R R

Roblox is now loading. Get ready to play!

R R

You're moments away from getting into the game!

Click here for help

Check Remember my choice and click Launch Application in the dialog box above to join games faster in the future!

Gameplay sponsored by:
Loading 0% - Starting game...
Get more with Builders Club! Join Builders Club
Choose Your Avatar
I have an account
generic image