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Re: YES! Essay Contest

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iiChocolatePanda is not online. iiChocolatePanda
Joined: 24 Apr 2014
Total Posts: 54
09 Oct 2015 06:51 PM
Good luck to all competitors!

It was a normal Friday afternoon. Well, it was the day before Halloween. I’m sitting at the cafeteria table with my three best friends, Ariana, Dahnya and Afiya. “Are you going trick-or-treating?” Ariana asks me. I shake my head. “No, I’m getting a little old for that,” I say “I was planning to watch Netflix and eat popcorn.” Dahnya and Afiya nod. “I was thinking of doing that too,” Ariana says. “Especially since we can go to the Haunted House! I roll my eyes. “The Haunted House they do every year? It’s always so boring. How can a toddler-based broomstick scare you?” Ariana shakes her head in disagreement. “It’s going to be super scary this year! My cousin’s neighbor is helping to build it. Come on, Emma can you at least try?” I consider this. “Fine, but I’ll regret it.” I say after a few moments of consideration.
As I walk home from school, I see the eerie old house that is next to our school. It hasn’t been touched in 20 years. The gate is usually closed and boarded up. But today, it’s open. I can see a sign on the grass that has been blown over by the wind. It says “Welcome to the Haunted House! Hopefully you’ll live to come out.” I roll my eyes. Come on? How corny is that? There’s even a skeleton sticker on it, and I’ll be willing to bet money that it’s glow-in-the dark. As I walk past the house, I can’t stop thinking about what I got myself into. This is going to be horrible. Instead of watching my beloved Netflix I have to go into an average house. Big woop.
The day finally arrives. I can’t wait to get this done and over with. Afiya comes over to my house wearing spider leggings and a black cat sweater and black fuzzy boots. Now I wish I wore something warmer than a T-Shirt and denim shorts. Dahnya and Ariana come a few minutes after. Dahnya is wearing an orange pumpkin hat. Ariana looks at Dahnya’s hat and back at me. “I tried to convince her not to wear it…. As you can see it didn’t work.” We all go to the house. It’s much creepier up close. As we walk in the wood floor underneath us makes a squeal. The door slams shut and the lights go off. I hold onto my friend’s hand tighter. I hear Ariana scream, then here a muffled voice. “Ariana?” I ask cautiously. “She let go of my hand, like she was being pulled” Dahnya stutters. Oh no. I have to live through this AND save Ariana.
Afiya is the next to go, unfortunately. She departures my grip like she was being pulled. I hear the words “Help Em-“ and then muffled voices again. “Dahnya” I whisper. “Stay with me, please.” “I hope I can” she says. We walk up the stairs. “Ariana, Afiya?” I call. I feel a dry hand on my ankle. It starts pulling me. I let go of Dahnya accidentally and search for her hand in the dark. I’m being dragged into a room. I hear a click and the lights turn on. I’m face to face with a monster.
What should I do? I need like Dr. Phil with me or something. “Where are my friends?” I ask. The monster mutters “It doesn’t matter right now. You trespassed my home. We are now in war.” Ariana, Afiya and Dahnya are dragged into the room but 3 more monsters. “Emma!” Ariana screams excitedly and they all run to my side. Now I remember what I learned in a Taekwondo class. Make the enemy believe you’re powerful! I say “I know Karate, and so does everyone else.” Ariana sends me a confused look but then understands and does a fake kick. “Hi-ya!” The monsters look forlorn as they run away. My friends all cheer in accomplishment. “Good job, Emma”
Written by iiChocolatePanda

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PawzKat is not online. PawzKat
Joined: 22 Apr 2012
Total Posts: 21011
09 Oct 2015 06:53 PM
Uh, not to be rude, but this wouldn't be classified as an essay. It's not argumentative or scholarly.

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CrystaIGems is not online. CrystaIGems
Joined: 23 Jan 2015
Total Posts: 1774
09 Oct 2015 06:56 PM
>Ariana, Dahnya and Afiya

those are some ghetto names, you might as well have named them Bonquiqui-Shalak Conjuon Youohn Ohl'om, Sharkeisha and Akeelah
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pirate59392 is not online. pirate59392
Joined: 29 Jul 2008
Total Posts: 3869
09 Oct 2015 06:59 PM
"Bonquiqui-Shalak"

omfg pronouncing that in my head made me spit Pepsi all over my keyboard I'm fkin dying
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foIie is not online. foIie
Joined: 10 Oct 2009
Total Posts: 9504
09 Oct 2015 07:49 PM
"Bonquiqui-Shalak"

omfg pronouncing that in my head made me spit Pepsi all over my keyboard I'm fkin dying (2)


can we just

copy/paste it and put those names in instead of the ones she has

please


she said, she said, she said, why don't you just drop dead?
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CrystaIGems is not online. CrystaIGems
Joined: 23 Jan 2015
Total Posts: 1774
09 Oct 2015 07:55 PM
It was a normal Friday afternoon. Well, it was the day before Halloween. I’m sitting at the cafeteria table with my three best friends, Ariana, Bonquiqui-Shalak Conjuon Youohn Ohl'om and Sharkeisha “Are you going trick-or-treating?” Akeelah asks me. I shake my head. “No, I’m getting a little old for that,” I say “I was planning to watch Netflix and eat popcorn.”Bonquiqui-Shalak Conjuon Youohn Ohl'om and Sharkeisha nod. “I was thinking of doing that too,” Akeelah says. “Especially since we can go to the Haunted House! I roll my eyes. “The Haunted House they do every year? It’s always so boring. How can a toddler-based broomstick scare you?” Akeelah shakes her head in disagreement. “It’s going to be super scary this year! My cousin’s neighbor is helping to build it. Come on, Emma can you at least try?” I consider this. “Fine, but I’ll regret it.” I say after a few moments of consideration.
As I walk home from school, I see the eerie old house that is next to our school. It hasn’t been touched in 20 years. The gate is usually closed and boarded up. But today, it’s open. I can see a sign on the grass that has been blown over by the wind. It says “Welcome to the Haunted House! Hopefully you’ll live to come out.” I roll my eyes. Come on? How corny is that? There’s even a skeleton sticker on it, and I’ll be willing to bet money that it’s glow-in-the dark. As I walk past the house, I can’t stop thinking about what I got myself into. This is going to be horrible. Instead of watching my beloved Netflix I have to go into an average house. Big woop.
The day finally arrives. I can’t wait to get this done and over with. Sharkeisha comes over to my house wearing spider leggings and a black cat sweater and black fuzzy boots. Now I wish I wore something warmer than a T-Shirt and denim shorts. Bonquiqui-Shalak Conjuon Youohn Ohl'om and Ariana come a few minutes after. Bonquiqui-Shalak Conjuon Youohn Ohl'om is wearing an orange pumpkin hat. Akeelah looks at Bonquiqui-Shalak Conjuon Youohn Ohl'om’s hat and back at me. “I tried to convince her not to wear it…. As you can see it didn’t work.” We all go to the house. It’s much creepier up close. As we walk in the wood floor underneath us makes a squeal. The door slams shut and the lights go off. I hold onto my friend’s hand tighter. I hear Akeelah scream, then here a muffled voice. “Akeelah ?” I ask cautiously. “She let go of my hand, like she was being pulled” Bonquiqui-Shalak Conjuon Youohn Ohl'om stutters. Oh no. I have to live through this AND save Akeelah .
Sharkeisha is the next to go, unfortunately. She departures my grip like she was being pulled. I hear the words “Help Em-“ and then muffled voices again. “Bonquiqui-Shalak Conjuon Youohn Ohl'om” I whisper. “Stay with me, please.” “I hope I can” she says. We walk up the stairs. “Akeelah ,Sharkeisha?” I call. I feel a dry hand on my ankle. It starts pulling me. I let go of Bonquiqui-Shalak Conjuon Youohn Ohl'om accidentally and search for her hand in the dark. I’m being dragged into a room. I hear a click and the lights turn on. I’m face to face with a monster.
What should I do? I need like Dr. Phil with me or something. “Where are my friends?” I ask. The monster mutters “It doesn’t matter right now. You trespassed my home. We are now in war.” Akeelah , Sharkeisha and Bonquiqui-Shalak Conjuon Youohn Ohl'om are dragged into the room but 3 more monsters. “Emma!” Ariana screams excitedly and they all run to my side. Now I remember what I learned in a Taekwondo class. Make the enemy believe you’re powerful! I say “I know Karate, and so does everyone else.” Akeelah sends me a confused look but then understands and does a fake kick. “Hi-ya!” The monsters look forlorn as they run away. My friends all cheer in accomplishment. “Good job, Emma”
Enhanced by your One True God
Heil H.Y.D.R.E
Read my Story

I want everyone to know I have two stories to write, a show to watch, homework to do, games to play, and many other things as well
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CrystaIGems is not online. CrystaIGems
Joined: 23 Jan 2015
Total Posts: 1774
09 Oct 2015 07:56 PM
and wow mess up first ariana and my end speech

the one time the preview button could help
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foIie is not online. foIie
Joined: 10 Oct 2009
Total Posts: 9504
09 Oct 2015 07:57 PM
“Bonquiqui-Shalak Conjuon Youohn Ohl'om” I whisper

this needs to be a siggy


she said, she said, she said, why don't you just drop dead?
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CrystaIGems is not online. CrystaIGems
Joined: 23 Jan 2015
Total Posts: 1774
09 Oct 2015 07:58 PM
I am it's creator and now I shall bear the curse

“Bonquiqui-Shalak Conjuon Youohn Ohl'om,” I whisper.
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foIie is not online. foIie
Joined: 10 Oct 2009
Total Posts: 9504
09 Oct 2015 07:58 PM
that's perfect


she said, she said, she said, why don't you just drop dead?
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floopy54321 is not online. floopy54321
Joined: 03 Nov 2012
Total Posts: 2953
09 Oct 2015 08:09 PM
PROBLEMS:
Monsters scared of fake Taekwondo.
The teenagers have been to the Haunted House and it "hasn't been touched in 20 years"
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foIie is not online. foIie
Joined: 10 Oct 2009
Total Posts: 9504
09 Oct 2015 08:11 PM
those aren't the only problems lmao


she said, she said, she said, why don't you just drop dead?
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floopy54321 is not online. floopy54321
Joined: 03 Nov 2012
Total Posts: 2953
09 Oct 2015 08:12 PM
ik
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CrystaIGems is not online. CrystaIGems
Joined: 23 Jan 2015
Total Posts: 1774
09 Oct 2015 08:17 PM
you know this innocent girl came in here just to make a story for a contest and I just wanted to make a simple joke but it's evolved into something bigger and it's still evolving there's no end

“Bonquiqui-Shalak Conjuon Youohn Ohl'om,” I whisper.
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foIie is not online. foIie
Joined: 10 Oct 2009
Total Posts: 9504
09 Oct 2015 08:18 PM
it will never end


she said, she said, she said, why don't you just drop dead?
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iiChocolatePanda is not online. iiChocolatePanda
Joined: 24 Apr 2014
Total Posts: 54
10 Oct 2015 07:18 AM
About Ariana, Afiya and Dahnya. Those names are not weird, and I actually used them because they're names of my roblox friends.

Dahnya- cutiez12
Afiya- flowergirlfun
Ariana- arianafangirl122

I think they're lovely names.
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papermoon8 is not online. papermoon8
Joined: 16 Sep 2012
Total Posts: 7409
10 Oct 2015 08:56 AM
>essay
>not informative or argumentative[2]

and yeah those names are super ghetto
and yeah this story made my IQ lower just skimming it
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pirate59392 is not online. pirate59392
Joined: 29 Jul 2008
Total Posts: 3869
10 Oct 2015 11:12 AM
Crystal your siggy makes it sound like some sort of arcane Cthulhu incantation
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foIie is not online. foIie
Joined: 10 Oct 2009
Total Posts: 9504
10 Oct 2015 06:08 PM
maybe it is


she said, she said, she said, why don't you just drop dead?
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IAmCreepyStalkerGirl is not online. IAmCreepyStalkerGirl
Joined: 10 May 2014
Total Posts: 49
11 Oct 2015 02:36 AM
This is amazing
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IAmCreepyStalkerGirl is not online. IAmCreepyStalkerGirl
Joined: 10 May 2014
Total Posts: 49
11 Oct 2015 03:23 AM
Why is everyone being rude? The competition is a essay or a short story, Jesus Christ.
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IAmCreepyStalkerGirl is not online. IAmCreepyStalkerGirl
Joined: 10 May 2014
Total Posts: 49
11 Oct 2015 03:25 AM
By the way, your friends have really pretty names.
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foIie is not online. foIie
Joined: 10 Oct 2009
Total Posts: 9504
11 Oct 2015 09:10 AM
yeah, Bonquiqui-Shalak Conjuon Youohn Ohl'om, Sharkeisha and Akeelah are really nice names arent they


she said, she said, she said, why don't you just drop dead?
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PasteIColours is not online. PasteIColours
Joined: 07 May 2014
Total Posts: 2386
19 Oct 2015 02:12 AM
Great story! Good luck! I entered too ;)

Ariana, Dahnya and Afiya are nice names. =)

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BlueRangerMorph is not online. BlueRangerMorph
Joined: 20 Dec 2009
Total Posts: 494
19 Oct 2015 09:41 AM
I never knew a name could be "ghetto".. I guess "Becky" and "Bob" are "normal".

but anyway that Bonquiqui sht killed me... Lmao
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