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| 28 Sep 2015 09:05 PM |
No it's not a fanfic. It's something for English due tomorrow and I'm doing it at the last minute (as always). Just read and tell if you like it.
The box limps from an injurious ambush down the street, and decides to settle down at the chaRedwood diner to think. In a way, the ambush was really no surprise at all. Many poor non-BC Robloxians get teased, threatened, and even lynched by the fortunate Builders’ Club members. It makes the box wonder why he, or anyone, comes to the downtown area of Blockbay. “For the food, of course!” He thinks to himself. This part of town has one of the best, if not the best memeburgers in all of Robloxia! Both locals and tourists report zesty seasoned meat, with each burger made with love and dankness. That’d sound like a decent deal to about any sensible person. He comes in, sits down, and looks around. The brick walls are decorated with Andy Warhol and neon flamingos and margaritas. The room is filled with the clamor of customers obnoxiously chit-chatting it up with their friends, and waiters drowsily move from kitchen to table transferring and delivering orders. It’s a cheesy setting, but it’s better than being out in ominous, dim night walking on cold sidewalk just waiting for someone to give your eyes a flash.
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| 28 Sep 2015 09:06 PM |
the hell also what god damn english class would want something that short |
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| 28 Sep 2015 09:06 PM |
| no offense that was boring but good detail |
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Lovaloo
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| Joined: 13 Jun 2012 |
| Total Posts: 26678 |
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| 28 Sep 2015 09:06 PM |
| When your teacher doesn't understand any of this, how do you plan on explaining it? |
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| 28 Sep 2015 09:08 PM |
@Mecha Not finished. Supposed to be 2 - 4 pages long so. @Kool It's fine. Usually books are boring at the beginning, but they lead up to a very satisfying pay off. Hopefully I can provide that effect. |
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Impulse27
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| Joined: 08 Aug 2015 |
| Total Posts: 2087 |
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| 28 Sep 2015 09:10 PM |
A robloxian setting ruins it, but you could turn it into something good.
"gamer gunk"-Chadtronic 2015 |
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TomOly
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| Joined: 25 Apr 2010 |
| Total Posts: 964 |
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| 28 Sep 2015 09:12 PM |
| I would have copy and pasted a bit of writing I did but Roblox filters it for some reason |
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| 28 Sep 2015 09:14 PM |
why roblox?
mastr komeedean of rt™ ヽ(;▽;)ノ | @Growlithe99 |
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| 28 Sep 2015 09:14 PM |
@TomOly I don't have the time to read any major pieces ATM, so it's fine. |
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TomOly
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| Joined: 25 Apr 2010 |
| Total Posts: 964 |
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| 28 Sep 2015 09:15 PM |
| Hahahahahahha, you know me too well, its not that big. |
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| 28 Sep 2015 09:16 PM |
@Tigerhowl I don't know. If I did it in real life, I'd have to read up on physics, social studies, cities, and stuff as well as folklore (to find the monsters I'll put in my story), and I'll have to actually go to those cities, to put realism in my story. Just using an imaginary universe is much easier IMO. |
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| 28 Sep 2015 09:30 PM |
| Just PM it and I'll read if I have the time. |
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| 28 Sep 2015 09:33 PM |
| Odd choice of tense, but at least you stuck to it. A good attention to detail, too, but be careful it doesn't get too lengthy and deviate too far from the ROBLOXian you're supposed to be telling the story about. |
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| 28 Sep 2015 09:46 PM |
| He reads his menu, looking at the variety of memeburgers he could choose from. But, then he has a sudden feeling: someone is watching him. He reluctantly turns his head to look through the large window beside his booth. It was a gloomy night (obviously), but he sees someone looming out of a dark alley. Its body is pitch-black, allowing it to almost blend in with the; its head, however, is the opposite: pure white, which makes it stand out in the darkness. An uncanny, naïve smile was drawn across its face as its thick lines for eyes seems to pierce the soul of their target; the box looking back at it uneasily. |
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| 28 Sep 2015 09:51 PM |
It IS night* just realized my error |
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1263828
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| Joined: 16 Sep 2015 |
| Total Posts: 326 |
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| 28 Sep 2015 09:53 PM |
Author is good
Read the text |
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| 28 Sep 2015 09:54 PM |
gudgudgudgudgud
The only one who can make Loleris cringe properly, and that's Domino D. >:^] |
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TomOly
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| Joined: 25 Apr 2010 |
| Total Posts: 964 |
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| 29 Sep 2015 08:20 PM |
Let me try something.
Twelve. Ben taps his feet nervously, waiting. Silence. He looks around the room at the other patients, some coughing furiously and others just sitting quietly, staring into space. 'Ben Lambert?' Ben then snaps his head sideways, its the doctor. Slowly, he stands up.
This is something quick nor is it my best work. |
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| 29 Sep 2015 08:20 PM |
tl;dr 1/10
OMG ILLAMINITU || the baseballer of RT youtu.be/-NuONuafxwk?t=7 http://www.roblox.com/baseball-item?id=119859500 http://www.roblox.com/Get-out-item?id=256359756 |
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