generic image
Processing...
  • Games
  • Catalog
  • Develop
  • Robux
  • Search in Players
  • Search in Games
  • Search in Catalog
  • Search in Groups
  • Search in Library
  • Log In
  • Sign Up
  • Games
  • Catalog
  • Develop
  • Robux
   
ROBLOX Forum » Club Houses » ROBLOX Talk
Home Search
 

Re: Rate my writing

Previous Thread :: Next Thread 
ScarletArmada is not online. ScarletArmada
Joined: 06 Jul 2014
Total Posts: 11541
28 Sep 2015 09:05 PM
No it's not a fanfic. It's something for English due tomorrow and I'm doing it at the last minute (as always). Just read and tell if you like it.

The box limps from an injurious ambush down the street, and decides to settle down at the chaRedwood diner to think. In a way, the ambush was really no surprise at all. Many poor non-BC Robloxians get teased, threatened, and even lynched by the fortunate Builders’ Club members. It makes the box wonder why he, or anyone, comes to the downtown area of Blockbay.
“For the food, of course!” He thinks to himself. This part of town has one of the best, if not the best memeburgers in all of Robloxia! Both locals and tourists report zesty seasoned meat, with each burger made with love and dankness. That’d sound like a decent deal to about any sensible person.
He comes in, sits down, and looks around. The brick walls are decorated with Andy Warhol and neon flamingos and margaritas. The room is filled with the clamor of customers obnoxiously chit-chatting it up with their friends, and waiters drowsily move from kitchen to table transferring and delivering orders. It’s a cheesy setting, but it’s better than being out in ominous, dim night walking on cold sidewalk just waiting for someone to give your eyes a flash.
Report Abuse
MechaSquid is not online. MechaSquid
Joined: 18 May 2009
Total Posts: 38782
28 Sep 2015 09:06 PM
the hell
also what god damn english class would want something that short
Report Abuse
KoolWaterLK is not online. KoolWaterLK
Joined: 23 Mar 2014
Total Posts: 90585
28 Sep 2015 09:06 PM
no offense that was boring but good detail
Report Abuse
Lovaloo is not online. Lovaloo
Joined: 13 Jun 2012
Total Posts: 26678
28 Sep 2015 09:06 PM
When your teacher doesn't understand any of this, how do you plan on explaining it?
Report Abuse
ScarletArmada is not online. ScarletArmada
Joined: 06 Jul 2014
Total Posts: 11541
28 Sep 2015 09:08 PM
@Mecha
Not finished. Supposed to be 2 - 4 pages long so.
@Kool
It's fine. Usually books are boring at the beginning, but they lead up to a very satisfying pay off. Hopefully I can provide that effect.
Report Abuse
ScarletArmada is not online. ScarletArmada
Joined: 06 Jul 2014
Total Posts: 11541
28 Sep 2015 09:09 PM
@Lovaloo
Personification.
Report Abuse
NintendoCube is not online. NintendoCube
Joined: 02 Jun 2015
Total Posts: 17130
28 Sep 2015 09:10 PM
veri nice
Report Abuse
Impulse27 is not online. Impulse27
Joined: 08 Aug 2015
Total Posts: 2087
28 Sep 2015 09:10 PM
A robloxian setting ruins it, but you could turn it into something good.


"gamer gunk"-Chadtronic 2015
Report Abuse
TomOly is not online. TomOly
Joined: 25 Apr 2010
Total Posts: 964
28 Sep 2015 09:12 PM
I would have copy and pasted a bit of writing I did but Roblox filters it for some reason
Report Abuse
Tigerhowl99 is not online. Tigerhowl99
Joined: 18 Nov 2012
Total Posts: 11364
28 Sep 2015 09:14 PM
why roblox?


mastr komeedean of rt™ ヽ(;▽;)ノ | @Growlithe99
Report Abuse
ScarletArmada is not online. ScarletArmada
Joined: 06 Jul 2014
Total Posts: 11541
28 Sep 2015 09:14 PM
@TomOly
I don't have the time to read any major pieces ATM, so it's fine.
Report Abuse
TomOly is not online. TomOly
Joined: 25 Apr 2010
Total Posts: 964
28 Sep 2015 09:15 PM
Hahahahahahha, you know me too well, its not that big.
Report Abuse
ScarletArmada is not online. ScarletArmada
Joined: 06 Jul 2014
Total Posts: 11541
28 Sep 2015 09:16 PM
@Tigerhowl
I don't know. If I did it in real life, I'd have to read up on physics, social studies, cities, and stuff as well as folklore (to find the monsters I'll put in my story), and I'll have to actually go to those cities, to put realism in my story. Just using an imaginary universe is much easier IMO.
Report Abuse
ScarletArmada is not online. ScarletArmada
Joined: 06 Jul 2014
Total Posts: 11541
28 Sep 2015 09:30 PM
Just PM it and I'll read if I have the time.
Report Abuse
keeltoll3456 is not online. keeltoll3456
Top 100 Poster
Joined: 13 Jan 2009
Total Posts: 57070
28 Sep 2015 09:33 PM
Odd choice of tense, but at least you stuck to it. A good attention to detail, too, but be careful it doesn't get too lengthy and deviate too far from the ROBLOXian you're supposed to be telling the story about.
Report Abuse
ScarletArmada is not online. ScarletArmada
Joined: 06 Jul 2014
Total Posts: 11541
28 Sep 2015 09:46 PM
He reads his menu, looking at the variety of memeburgers he could choose from. But, then he has a sudden feeling: someone is watching him. He reluctantly turns his head to look through the large window beside his booth. It was a gloomy night (obviously), but he sees someone looming out of a dark alley. Its body is pitch-black, allowing it to almost blend in with the; its head, however, is the opposite: pure white, which makes it stand out in the darkness. An uncanny, naïve smile was drawn across its face as its thick lines for eyes seems to pierce the soul of their target; the box looking back at it uneasily.
Report Abuse
ScarletArmada is not online. ScarletArmada
Joined: 06 Jul 2014
Total Posts: 11541
28 Sep 2015 09:51 PM
It IS night*
just realized my error
Report Abuse
1263828 is not online. 1263828
Joined: 16 Sep 2015
Total Posts: 326
28 Sep 2015 09:53 PM
Author is good




Read the text
Report Abuse
DominoDrawings is not online. DominoDrawings
Joined: 05 Oct 2014
Total Posts: 7890
28 Sep 2015 09:54 PM
gudgudgudgudgud


The only one who can make Loleris cringe properly, and that's Domino D. >:^]
Report Abuse
TomOly is not online. TomOly
Joined: 25 Apr 2010
Total Posts: 964
29 Sep 2015 08:20 PM
Let me try something.

Twelve. Ben taps his feet nervously, waiting. Silence. He looks around the room at the other patients, some coughing furiously and others just sitting quietly, staring into space. 'Ben Lambert?' Ben then snaps his head sideways, its the doctor. Slowly, he stands up.

This is something quick nor is it my best work.
Report Abuse
yogurtsfalling is not online. yogurtsfalling
Joined: 04 Nov 2011
Total Posts: 22005
29 Sep 2015 08:20 PM
tl;dr
1/10



OMG ILLAMINITU || the baseballer of RT youtu.be/-NuONuafxwk?t=7 http://www.roblox.com/baseball-item?id=119859500 http://www.roblox.com/Get-out-item?id=256359756
Report Abuse
Previous Thread :: Next Thread 
Page 1 of 1
 
 
ROBLOX Forum » Club Houses » ROBLOX Talk
   
 
   
  • About Us
  • Jobs
  • Blog
  • Parents
  • Help
  • Terms
  • Privacy

©2017 Roblox Corporation. Roblox, the Roblox logo, Robux, Bloxy, and Powering Imagination are among our registered and unregistered trademarks in the U.S. and other countries.



Progress
Starting Roblox...
Connecting to Players...
R R

Roblox is now loading. Get ready to play!

R R

You're moments away from getting into the game!

Click here for help

Check Remember my choice and click Launch Application in the dialog box above to join games faster in the future!

Gameplay sponsored by:
Loading 0% - Starting game...
Get more with Builders Club! Join Builders Club
Choose Your Avatar
I have an account
generic image